Meant to Be FEMSLASH
by sjslashfan
Summary: Janet knows she has to start again and reclaim her life.   FEMSLASH Sam/Janet  so sorry, have had to resubmit after accidental deletion.
1. Chapter 1

Janet Richmond's hands shook as she tried to zip up her large holdall. Sharon reached over and gently put one hand over Janet's. "It's okay, Janet," she said quietly. "He won't be back. And even if he does come back, you're not alone. The guys are outside, and they're staying until you are safely back in the car. And I'm not going anywhere."

Janet looked up at her friend, who was also the head nurse at the base, tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry," her voice was not much above a whisper. "It's just...," she swallowed.

"You don't have to apologize, or explain. You just need to get away from him. And you're doing just that," Sharon squeezed her fingers affectionately. She hated that her boss had been brought so low.

Janet gave a weak smile and a wave to the two SFs waiting in the truck outside her house. Well, it was no longer her house, she realized. She was really doing it. She was getting away. As she lowered herself into the car, her ribs protested and she tried not to wince, knowing that Sharon was watching her every move.

"You okay?" Sharon asked.

"Fine," Janet said, more shortly than she had intended. "Can we just go?"

"Of course," Sharon said, as she started the car and reversed it out of Janet's drive. She looked over sadly at her boss, noticing that the bruises on her face had really started to come out. She could only imagine what bruising was hidden under her clothing. Janet held tight to her purse, her knuckles white. Her face was as white as her knuckles, tension emanating from every pore.

They drove for less than five minutes when Janet took a sudden deep breath. She knew she was going to be sick. "Pull over," she said thickly. Sharon did as she was told, and Janet flung the door open just in time as her stomach rebelled. The retching jarred her ribs further, which only exacerbated the nausea. At that moment, she just wanted to die.

Sharon put one hand on her quaking back, rubbing gently. "It's okay," she said softly. "It's okay. It's all going to be okay. It's over now, Janet. It's really over." She reached over to the back seat and grabbed the blanket there, tucking it firmly around her shaking friend. "We'll get you back home, and tucked up warm in bed, that'll be nice, huh?"

Janet nodded miserably. "Sorry," she whispered, as she leaned back painfully in her seat, trying unsuccessfully to stop the tremors that shook her.

"I want to check you over quickly once we get back," Sharon said. "Make sure you're okay."

"M'fine," Janet said. "It's just bruises."

"I still want to check," Sharon said softly. "Quite apart from the bruises, you're in shock right now."

"Okay," Janet whispered. "When we get to the motel."

"No motel," Sharon said firmly. "You're coming back with me. You shouldn't be alone."

"No," Janet protested. "I don't want to disturb your family. I'll be fine. There's a motel just near here."

"I don't care," Sharon insisted. "Anyway, Cora'll never speak to me again if I leave you there. She's looking forward to seeing you. Mikey's with his grandma tonight," she referred to their four-year-old son. "And Eliza will be asleep. Please, Janet?" her voice was gentle. "We really want you with us."

Janet looked at her colleague, and saw that she really meant what she said. She tried to pull herself together. "In that case, yes. And thank you," she said with feeling.

As David Richmond drove up to his house, he felt his anger grow. He had been very clear in his instructions to his wife that morning; he wanted his dinner on the table as soon as he returned, and his best blue shirt laundered. He was going out with the guys that evening, and he wanted to be ready for Mark when he came round to give him a ride. But there were no lights showing in the house, and Janet's car wasn't in the drive. What the hell was the bitch up to this time? Was he going to have to teach her another lesson?

Angrily, he slammed the car door and strode to the front door. An envelope was pinned to the door, with 'David' written on it in Janet's handwriting. He opened it up and withdrew a single sheet; a business card fell on the table.

_You have hit me for the last time. I still don't know how I let things get to the state that they have. Why did I let you abuse me again and again? I guess I thought you would change. That you didn't mean it. That you meant it when you apologized, when you cried with remorse. When you swore it would never happen again. I loved you, I suppose. No longer. You need specialist help. I want you to call the number on the business card. If I don't hear from the office by Friday that you have made an appointment, I'm calling the police. I can't bear the thought that you could attack another woman in the future. Get help. Now._

David was white with fury as he read the words. He hurled his car keys against the wall, and kicked over the chair that was next to him. This would not be the end of it. No way. He would get her back. Janet belonged with him. She needed him. He knew what was best for her.

Sharon helped Janet out of the car and up to the house. Her wife Cora opened the door in welcome and, as Janet stepped across the threshold, wrapped her in a gentle hug, taking care not to exacerbate the injuries she could see. "Welcome," she whispered into Janet's hair. "You're safe here."

It was so long since Janet had been treated with such warmth and kindness, and so wonderful to realize that she really was safe at last, that she started to cry with relief. Cora led her to the couch, not releasing her, and just held her as she cried, while Sharon went to make tea.

After almost half an hour, Janet's sobbing slowed. "Sorry," she gulped, sitting up a little.

"For what?" Cora asked. "For being human? I'm so glad you came, Janet," she told her. "Anyway," she smiled. "We owe you one."

Janet looked nonplussed.

"For Eliza," Cora reminded her.

Janet snorted. "That was nothing," she said, remembering back six weeks to when she delivered Cora's baby in the back of Sharon's station wagon. "You didn't need me anyway, Sharon would have done fine."

"Because of you she didn't need to," Cora said. "And I know she's a great nurse, but I swear she panicked more than I did that day. I love you so much, my darling," she said to Sharon as she came back into the living room bearing a tray of tea, "but frankly you were a mess!" she teased her wife.

Sharon grinned. "Thank goodness we had an expert in the car," she said.

"She's a beautiful baby," Janet smiled a little tearfully. The harsh truth was that she would never now have a child of her own.

"She is," Cora agreed. "Though she's less engaging at three in the morning." A soft wail was heard over the baby monitor. "Talking of which," she smiled. "Baby wants her dinner," she grimaced.

"I think it's time we got Janet into bed too," Sharon said, putting a hand on Janet's arm. "Okay Janet?"

"Yeah," Janet was exhausted. It was only 6pm, but she felt like she could sleep for a month.

Sharon tenderly palpated Janet's side. Her boss, who had become one of her closest friends, was sitting on the edge of the bed in her nightshirt and a warm robe that Sharon found in the closet. "I don't think anything's broken," Sharon told her. "I think maybe we should give you a scan tomorrow anyway, what do you think?"

"Okay," Janet said in a small voice. "I'm sure I'm okay though."

"I'm sure you are too," Sharon said reassuringly, as she pulled back the warm quilt, and gently tucked Janet in. She sat on the edge of the bed, and took Janet's hand. "It really is over, Janet," she said. "You can get your life back now. Start afresh. You no longer have to be frightened."

Janet's eyes filled with tears again. "You've been such a good friend," she tried to keep her voice steady. "Both of you. Thank you. I really will miss you when you go. The kids too," she said.

Sharon squeezed her hand. "I've been meaning to talk to you about that," she said. "It's gonna be weird for us, moving to Colorado Springs. But Cora's work is taking us there," she referred to her wife's growing reputation as an architect, "and it'll be a good place to bring up the kids. And I've managed to get a transfer to the Cheyenne Mountain project. It's an amazing place, Janet. The people seem real nice too."

"That's good," Janet said. "I hope they deserve you, you're the best nurse I've ever worked with."

"That's the thing, you see," Sharon was gabbling now in her enthusiasm. "They're recruiting for a CMO at the base. It's perfect, Janet. Don't you see? What have you got keeping you here? He won't even know where you are."

Janet shook her head. "No," she said, quietly. "Look at me," she held out her hand, which was shaking uncontrollably. "I'm a mess. I'm not up to the job."

"Nonsense," Sharon said. "You've had a terrible trauma. But it's over now Janet. You can reclaim your life. Start again. You're an amazing doctor. You've got a great resume. And," she grinned. "I won't have to break in a new CMO. I can't think of anything better than keeping you as my boss. Promise me you'll think seriously about applying, huh?" she peered anxiously into Janet's eyes.

Janet smiled. She took a deep breath. "You could be right," she said carefully. "And the further away I can get from David, the better. He'll have read the note by now," her voice shook. "I wonder what he's doing?"

Sharon tightened her grip on Janet's hand. "It doesn't matter what he's doing," she said. "Just so long as he's not doing it to you. No woman should have to put up with a life like that. Get away, Janet," she said. "He'll never be able to find you."

"He probably thinks I've run off with some woman," Janet said glumly. "Ever since he found out I was bi, he's been obsessed. He even said," she swallowed and looked away, "he said that it was my fault things have been difficult for us... in bed," she reddened. "Everything got so much worse after... after... the baby," she was struggling not to cry.

Sharon reached up and tucked a strand of Janet's hair behind her ear. "That's crap and he knows it," she said firmly. "And so you do. He knows why things have been difficult. How can you be expected to love a man who has done the things he has to you? Janet," she pulled her into a gentle hug. "He knocked you down the stairs, and you lost your baby, and your womb. He is the one who ruined everything. Your being bisexual has no bearing. At all. He's just making excuses. Forget him, if you possibly can. Take control back. You're only 31, that's no age at all. Make a success of your life. That's the best revenge you can take."

Janet nodded. "Okay," she said. "I will. I'll apply for the job. First, though," she said firmly, sounding a little stronger, "I'm going back to my maiden name. And then I'll apply to be the CMO at Cheyenne Mountain, as Dr Janet Fraiser. And nobody will know anything about my history. It's a fresh start."

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Are you up to having a visitor?" Cora stuck her head round the door. "I've got somebody here who wants to see you."

Janet smiled, "Of course," she said. "I always want to see Eliza."

Cora stepped into the room, holding their young infant. Very carefully, she passed her over to Janet, who took her in her arms. The baby looked up at Janet and smiled.

"You're still her favorite," Cora said.

Janet leaned down and very softly placed a kiss on the baby's forehead. She looked down with real pleasure as Eliza smiled again, and wrapped a pudgy fist round her finger. "Hey," Janet said softly, "hey Eliza Janet. It's real good to see you."


	2. Chapter 2

Captain Samantha Carter took a deep breath, and then knocked on the door. This was a visit she didn't want to make, but knew that it was something she had to do.

A few moments later, the door was opened. "Hi," said the woman at the door cautiously. "Hi Sam. What are you doing here?"

"Hey Heidi," Sam replied, her mouth dry. "I'm sorry to drop in on you like this. I know it's been a long time."

"Ten months," Heidi answered, almost too quickly.

Sam swallowed. "I know," she said. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for so many things. I had to see you, just once more. Can I come in?" she asked, not at all confident of the answer.

"Sure," Heidi replied, and moved to one side to let her former lover into the house.

"Thanks," Sam said.

"Can I get you anything? Coffee? Something stronger?" Heidi asked.

"No," Sam replied. "I didn't come here for that."

"So why are you here?" Heidi came straight to the point.

"Two reasons," Sam said. "The first one is to apologize. I treated you so badly, Heidi, and for that I will forever be sorry. I was too wrapped up in my work, I didn't devote the time you deserved to the relationship. I don't blame you for kicking me out. I'm just surprised you didn't do it sooner. I hope one day you find somebody who deserves you."

"And the second reason?" Heidi asked, trying to keep control of her emotions.

"I'm leaving," Sam said. "Leaving Washington, that it. I got a transfer. I'm moving to Colorado Springs in three weeks."

"So you got it?" Heidi asked. "The Stargate program? They're taking you at last?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah," she replied.

Heidi took her hand. "I'm glad," she said. "You've worked so hard for this Sam, you deserve your success."

Sam was unable to hide her surprise at Heidi's endorsement of her move.

Heidi smiled at the look on Sam's face. "I was never the right woman for you," she said in a gentle tone. "I know I gave you hell for spending so much time working, for never being home. But the truth is, and I hate to admit it, is that if I'd been right for you, somehow you would have found time for me and your work. I couldn't see that at the time, I was just blinded by my love for you. But we weren't right together. I see that now. One day you'll find the right person, and you'll see what I mean. But in the meantime, go, follow your dream. You've lived and breathed the Stargate program for the last four years. Now go and experience it."

Sam tried to stop the tears gathering in her eyes. "You're being so much more understanding than I deserve," she said, her voice cracking with emotion.

"It was good of you to come," Heidi said to her. "To tell me in person that you are leaving."

"It's the least I can do," Sam said. "I couldn't leave you to find out on the office grapevine. I know I've behaved real badly, but I at least owed you an explanation."

Heidi smiled. "I appreciate it," she said. "And I hope that some day, in the not too-distant future, you'll find the 'right' person as well as having the job you've dreamed about Sam. I want you to be happy Sam."

Sam looked up at her, and noticed a new serenity in her that she hadn't seen before. "And are you happy Heidi?" she asked. "It's none of my business, but you're looking happier than I've seen in a long time."

Heidi smiled again. "Yeah," she said. "I am happy. D'you remember that hot librarian I used to tease you about back when we were together?"

"The blonde?" Sam asked.

"With the legs that just don't quit...!" Heidi giggled. "Her name's Georgia. She's wonderful, Sam," Heidi was unable to hide her enthusiasm. "And she's moving in here next week."

Sam pulled Heidi into a hug. "I'm so happy for you," she said with real feeling. "I hope she makes you as happy as you deserve," she said.

"She does," Heidi replied. "She does."

"So did you get any news from Jake?" Sharon asked Janet, referring to the psychiatrist whose number Janet had left with her husband.

Janet nodded. "Yeah," she said. "He says David's booked six months of appointments. God knows whether he intends to see it through. Maybe he booked just to stop me calling the police. But it's a step in the right direction. Jake's seeing him next week for the first time. Obviously he can't give me any details, but he's promised to let me know at least if he turns up when he should." She tried to keep her voice even.

Sharon reached over and touched her hand. "That's good," she said gently. "One step at a time."

Janet looked up gratefully at her friend.

"Napoleonic power monger," Jack O'Neill grumbled as he stomped into the commissary where Sam, Daniel and Teal'c were discussing the latest mission over a cup of very strong coffee.

"Sir?" Sam asked.

"That new CMO. I swear she uses harpoons in place of needles," he rubbed his butt disconsolately. "An hour and a half I've been down there. If there's any possible test she hasn't given me, I'll be very surprised. I'll bet she's even checked to see if I'm pregnant."

"Well Sir, a full medical does cover a lot of ground," Sam said mildly. "They have to check on everything from heart rate to the speed at which you absorb iron in your diet. There's blood pressure, urine analysis, lung capacity, bone density..."

"Carter!" O'Neill bellowed. "I don't need to go through it all over again! Anyway, you'll find out soon enough just how much fun it is, you're next. When you come back, you can tell me just how much you enjoyed the attentions of Nurse Ratched." He grinned triumphantly.

Sam knocked on the door of Janet's office, and stuck her head round the corner. She saw a pretty young woman leave a file on the desk, and mistakenly assumed she'd seen the new CMO's assistant. She smiled at the young woman. "Sorry," she said, "I was just looking for Dr Fraiser. Is she around at all?" she asked politely.

"You've found her," Janet smiled. "You must be Captain Carter. Come on in."

"No, I meant the new CMO," Sam continued.

"That's me," Janet grinned. "Don't tell me; you were expecting someone older," she was used to this reaction.

"Oh God, I'm sorry," Sam said. "Yes. No. Not older. Just more intimidating," she smiled back. And less hot, she thought to herself, dragging her eyes away from Janet's soft curves. "I'm so sorry," she said again. "It looks like I was given a ... false impression of what you'd be like."

"By Colonel O'Neill, no doubt," Janet smiled again. She picked up the file she had just been leafing through; Sam saw 'Captain Samantha Carter' on the front of it. "Your CO," she stated. "A man who really does not like needles.

Sam smiled back. "Yeah," she admitted sheepishly. Somewhat belatedly, she stuck out her hand. "Let's start again," she said. "I'm Samantha Carter, Captain, service number 36-6-349. At your service, Ma'am," she grinned.

Janet took her hand. "Janet Fraiser, Doctor. And Captain. Service number 36-5-592," she said, and saluted comically. Sam laughed. She liked this woman's attitude. And she must have something special if she could subdue the colonel.

"Take a seat," Janet indicated the chair in front of the desk. She turned away momentarily to gather herself. She had not expected Captain Carter to be like this. From what she had read of her accomplishments, and heard on the grapevine, she had expected her to be nerdy, geeky, frankly rather boring. This young woman was full of spark and humor. She was also undeniably just about the most beautiful woman Janet had ever seen. Pull yourself together, she told herself. She would very soon see the captain in nothing more than a skimpy gown, and above all she had to remain professional. "This'll take a while, I'm afraid," Janet said, surprised at how she managed to keep her voice even. "But I've been asked to give all the active teams full medicals. So I'm sorry, we're gonna have to go through everything."

"That's okay," Sam replied, secretly delighted at anything that would keep her in the doctor's company. "It has to be done."

The hour and a half whizzed past for both women faster than either of them would have liked. They talked a lot during the examination, not just about work, but also about personal interests, musical tastes, hobbies and more. Janet was almost relieved to hear Sam admit that she was a lousy cook; from what she could see, she was just about perfect in every other way. She was by far the smartest person Janet had ever met, but somehow managed to combine genius with modesty and self-effacing humor. She was also in incredible shape. Janet took the requisite samples from the captain, but knew even before she got the results that she was the fittest person on the base.

Sam spent most of the time during her examination trying not to ogle the doctor. She spotted a tell-tale indentation on Janet's ring finger that indicated that she had until recently been married, which suggested that she was more than likely straight, so not an ideal target for Sam's romantic attentions. But she couldn't help enjoying her company, and hoped that they would become friends. There were few enough women on the base and, while Sam was far from a strident feminist and was already extremely fond of the other members of SG-1, she was glad to see a slight increase in estrogen levels at the mountain.

"So Carter, are you ready to sample the delights of P3X-593?" O'Neill grinned at his 2IC.

"As always, Sir," Sam smiled back. "Daniel says the planet should be fascinating," she said. "It'll be interesting to find out their level of technology, considering that their culture appears backward, in relation to what we have today."

"Yadda yadda," O'Neill said. "I swear you're getting as bad as Daniel, Carter."

"Sorry Sir," Sam grinned, not sounding the slightest bit penitent.

It was in a cheerful mood that the team departed through the 'gate, and the weather was fine on P3X-593. However, before they knew what had happened, it all went to crap. The locals took exception to Sam being a woman in a 'man's world', and were further horrified by her having the temerity to speak and offer her own opinions. Only her earlier participation in saving the boy from vicious dogs protected her from severe punishment, possibly even death.

Later, Jack O'Neill would castigate himself for failing to take the team straight back through the 'gate when he had the chance. He was also appalled with himself that he allowed the team to be separated, and going with the guys to the party while Sam, dressed in local 'female' finery, was left to stew in the yurt. And it was only after their return that he discovered that Sam had suffered much more than anyone had realized at the hands of the tribal chief Turghan. All this would become clear to him in the future but not, he thought back bitterly, in time to stop him behaving like an ass and putting the best 2IC he had ever had at unacceptable and pointless risk.

So Sam was kidnapped, mistreated, sold into bondage and finally rescued, only then to take on - and defeat - Turghan in the best display of hand-to-hand combat that O'Neill had ever witnessed. All, he later found out, with deep and infected whip wounds on her back.

By the time the team returned through the 'gate, Sam was white and shaken, with tell-tale spots of red in her cheeks indicating the beginning of a fever. She was also extremely short with the rest of the team, O'Neill in particular.

Janet met SG-1 as they came back through the 'gate. They were already two days late, and it was customary for any team that was delayed in any way to be met by a medic in the 'gate room. Quickly appraising SG-1 with a practiced eye, Janet could see that the men all looked healthy, while Sam looked like death warmed up. She marched over to the captain and put a hand to her forehead, feeling the heat from her skin. She called for a gurney, but Sam put her hand on her arm. "No," she said firmly. "I don't need a gurney."

"Captain," Janet said, "you're sick, you need to be seen right away."

"I'll come with you," Sam compromised. "But I'll walk. I'm okay. Really," she fixed Janet with a pleading look, shaking her head very slightly.

Janet could see from the look on Sam's face that, for some reason, it was very important to her to get to the infirmary under her own steam. "Okay," she said calmly. "You come with me now while the others debrief. Colonel," she addressed O'Neill, "I want to see all of you once you've given your reports, alright?"

O'Neill nodded meekly. "Look after her doc," he nodded toward Sam. "She's had a hell of a few days," the pride in his voice was unmistakeable.

Janet led Sam to the elevator; once the doors closed, Sam's rigid posture relaxed slightly, and she shut her eyes momentarily. "Want to tell me what that was all about?" Janet asked gently.

Sam swayed slightly and shook her head, trying to disperse the dizziness that had overcome her. Janet took her arm and steadied her.

"Not really," Sam said in a quiet voice. "It's been a tough couple of days. I wanted the colonel to see that they didn't break me. That I can cope, I'm not some pathetic woman who caves at the first sign of trouble."

"I'm sure nobody thinks that, Captain," Janet said, as the bing of the elevator announced its arrival on the 21st floor. "You okay for the last few steps?"

Sam nodded wearily. "Thank you," she said.

"For what?" Janet asked.

"For not making me ride on a gurney," Sam said.

"I could see it was important to you," Janet told her, guiding her to a bed. She drew the curtains round the bed. "D'you think you could slip into a gown for me? I need to check you over thoroughly."

Sam shook her head miserably. "I think my t-shirt may be stuck," she said, wincing as she removed her overshirt.

Janet could see that the t-shirt was indeed stuck to Sam's back in several places, dried and fresh blood both apparent on the fabric. "My God," she said, "what happened to you?"

Sam laughed mirthlessly. "Turns out the tribal chief didn't like women to answer back," she replied.

Janet blanched. "Captain," she said in a quiet voice. "I need you to tell me the absolute truth here. Were you assaulted? Sexually, I mean," she tried to keep her voice steady.

Sam shook her head. "No," she said almost in a whisper. "I wasn't."

"Is that the truth?" Janet pushed the young captain who, she could see, was trying hard to hold herself together.

"Yes," Sam said. "He kissed me, and when I objected, he whipped me. But he didn't rape me. I think he probably would have done quite soon. If the guys hadn't turned up when they did..." she paled further at the realization of what could have happened. "But he didn't rape me, I swear. You can examine me if you want to," her voice shook.

"That's okay," Janet said softly, putting a hand on Sam's arm. "I believe you. And I'm sorry I had to ask. Okay," she took a pair of scissors, "let's get this t-shirt off and check out the damage."

For the next 20 minutes, Janet worked at removing Sam's t-shirt. She soaked the cloth and, piece by piece, slowly managed to peel it from her, doing her best to minimize the pain for the young captain. She was horrified by some of the whip marks on Sam's back when they became apparent. She could see eight distinct lash marks, three of which very deep, with two of them badly infected. The worst of the marks was deep in Sam's back, and even had part of the clasp of Sam's bra embedded in the wound.

Janet realized that Sam had started to shake, her fever combining with delayed shock. She pulled a blanket round Sam's front as she started to work on removing the partly embedded bra. "I'm afraid you're gonna need to visit Victoria's Secret," she tried to joke to Sam as she cut through the straps. Very carefully she extricated the garment, her heart breaking when she heard Sam twice cry out in pain. "Okay," she tried to remain businesslike, "just need to clean these a bit, put in a couple of stitches, and you'll be good as new," her false cheer sounded hollow even to her ears.

She injected local anesthetic, and set to work cleaning and draining the wounds. No wonder Sam was running a fever, she realized, as she dug out God only knew what from the wounds. After nearly an hour, she finally put in the last of the stitches. "You're done now," she said quietly to Sam, who lay unprotesting on her side.

"Can I go?" Sam asked, her voice sounding weak and pathetic.

"Not tonight, Captain," Janet said gently, pulling warm blankets up over her and fitting an IV to deliver antibiotics. "We just need to get this fever down, and make sure you have no ill-effects. And I need to read the mission report too, in case there's something I've missed. So you'll be here for tonight at least, probably two nights. But after that you can go, okay?"

"Okay," Sam said miserably, exhaustion overwhelming her.

"I let her down, doc," O'Neill admitted, after Janet had read the mission report. "I was a total ass. She will be okay, right?"

"She will," Janet retorted, more sharply than she had intended.

"Can I see her?" he asked. "I need to apologize."

"You're right," Janet said, "you do. But not right now, she's sleeping. Tomorrow maybe. I'll let you know," she saw the anguished look on his face. She reached out and touched his arm. "She's going to be fine, colonel," she said gently.

Janet's shift finished at 9pm, but somehow she couldn't bring herself to go home. She didn't want to leave the young captain who, despite her own protestations, was clearly traumatized by her recent mission. So she grabbed a blanket and a pillow, and settled herself down for the night in a chair by Sam's bed.

Three times during the night Sam awoke, startled and in pain, reliving the moment when Turghan had advanced on her, lust in his eyes. Each time she sat up, gasping, barely awake, she felt the soft touch of the young doctor, smoothing the hair from her eyes, whispering soothing words, persuading her to take small sips of water. She finally fell asleep again, the warm press of Janet's hand on her arm. She felt safe.

When Sam awoke at 8am the next morning, Sharon, Janet's head nurse, was seated by her head. Sam looked up, confused. "Janet's having a shower," Sharon explained softly. "She's on duty in half an hour. She asked me to sit with you in case you woke."

Sam nodded.

"How are you feeling?" Sharon asked.

"Better," Sam said. "Thank you. And please thank Dr Fraiser for me," she said. "She was real kind."

"So that's about it," O'Neill came to the end of his long speech. "I was a total ass. I made bad decisions. And I didn't treat you with the respect you deserve. I'm sorry Carter, it won't happen again. And if you want to be reassigned, I'll understand."

Sam stepped toward her CO and took his hand. "Thank you Colonel," she said. "Your apology means a lot to me. I think we all learned something from the mission. I made mistakes too; I was pig-headed, taking on Turghan like that. And I was wrong not to tell you I was injured. I'm sorry too Colonel. And no, the last thing I want is to be reassigned. I love my role with SG-1. And I have enormous respect for you Sir."

O'Neill beamed. "Thank God," he said. "You're the best 2IC I've ever had. C'mere," he pulled Sam into a gentle hug, taking care not to touch her injured back.

On Saturday, four days later, Janet heard her doorbell ringing. On answering, she realized that at long last, all her books were arriving by courier, six large boxes full. During her last two weeks with David, she had been surreptitiously taking her most important books into work. Fortunately a lot of them were there already. Before moving to Colorado Springs, she had asked one of the airmen on the base to package them up and send them on to her when she had an address, telling him it wasn't urgent. But it had been two months and, just as she was starting to suspect she would never see them again, they arrived.

She had just signed for them, and was lugging the second box into her small apartment, when she heard the doorbell ring again. "Not another box!" she called out laughing, assuming the delivery boy had found further packages in his van.

"No, but I can go find one if you want!" a female voice called, laughter in the tone.

Janet frowned, she knew that voice, but from where? She came to the door, and smiled widely. "Captain Carter!" she said with real pleasure. "It's real good to see you. How did you know where I lived?"

Sam looked shamefaced. "I looked you up on the base computer," she admitted. "I wanted to give you this," she held out a bottle of very expensive wine.

Janet took it from her. "Merlot, my favorite," she said. "Not that I'm not delighted to see you, and the wine," she grinned, "but to what do I owe the pleasure? And why are you bringing me what looks like very expensive Merlot?"

"I wanted to thank you," Sam said simply. "You were so kind. And I don't know what you said to Colonel O'Neill, but it sure worked," she grinned.

"Oh I was only doing my job," Janet said.

"Staying up all night in a chair?" Sam challenged her. "I'd say that's above and beyond the call of duty."

Janet smiled. "What can I say? I'm a control freak!" she smiled, self-deprecatingly. She was pleased to see that Captain Samantha Carter was looking much better and, more importantly, relaxed and happy. "Well thank you Captain, I'm sure I shall enjoy this," she held the bottle of wine out.

"Sam," Sam said. "Please call me Sam."

"And you must call me Janet," Janet said. "Can I persuade you to stay for coffee? I've just put a fresh pot on."

"That sounds great," Sam said. "Let me help you with these boxes first," and she effortlessly lifted the largest of the boxes and followed Janet into the apartment.

The two women talked and laughed over coffee, and then Sam insisted on staying to help Janet unpack the boxes of books and arrange them in her various bookshelves. Janet tried to persuade Sam to stay for lunch, but the blonde reluctantly demurred. "I have lots to do, and I'm going out bowling with the guys tonight. Hey," she had a sudden thought. "How are you at bowling?" she asked, a twinkle in her eye.

Janet laughed. "You're kidding, right?" she asked. "I won all the bowling trophies at medical college for three years' running!" she told Sam. "They wouldn't let me play in the end."

"Great," Sam said. "Please say you'll play tonight? Siler's coming too, we can have three teams of two, girls against the guys. We'll show them who's the weaker sex!"

"Strike!" Sam yelled, "we've won!" Impulsively, she lifted Janet off her feet and swung her round in victory.

O'Neill pretended to sulk at his resounding defeat at the hands of the two women, but secretly he was delighted to see Sam on such good form. He was relieved and grateful that Sam had indeed forgiven him for his boorish behavior and that the team was once more back on an even keel. Even Daniel had seemingly forgiven him; he had been even more pissed than Sam about what had happened with Turghan.

Janet picked up the local newspaper and was reading it while eating a hurried sandwich in her office. She had had a busy morning, and could only spare 10 minutes for her lunch, which was already extremely late. But she was stopped in her tracks when she spotted an advertisement. Quickly, she dialed the 'phone, hoping that Sam would be at her desk.

"Carter!" Sam always sounded hurried when she answered the 'phone.

"Sorry," Janet said. "Am I interrupting something?"

Sam laughed. "Hey Janet," she said. "No, just recalibrating a zat. Nothing that can't wait. What can I do for you?"

"It's what I can do for you," Janet said, a smile in her voice. "I remember you telling me you liked Bach. Natalie Clein's playing his cello suites at the Philharmonic tomorrow night, wanna go?"

"Wow!" Sam replied. "You bet! She's a fantastic cellist. I don't suppose I could persuade you to come along too?" she asked. "Then you'd see first hand why I love Bach so much."

Janet's heart fluttered. She had hoped that Sam would want her to go too, but didn't want to push herself forward. "Why not?" she said. "It might be fun. Leave it with me, I'll book two tickets. And Sam?" she asked.

"Yeah?" Sam replied.

"You had any lunch yet?" Janet was beginning to realize just how easily Sam was distracted when working.

"Is it lunch time?" Sam looked at her watch, which showed 3.30pm. "Ooops!" she giggled.

"Go get some lunch," Janet instructed.

"That was beautiful," Janet was surprised to realize that there were tears in her eyes. "I didn't realize music could be so moving."

Sam laughed as she saw Janet surreptitiously wipe away her tears. "Don't be embarrassed," she said, "Bach makes me cry every time. I'm just so pleased you enjoyed it."

"I sure did," Janet told her. "I'm gonna have to look into this Bach guy, get me some CDs."

"I've got his full works," Sam said. "Come over one day, I'll play you some of my favorites. See which ones you like."

"I'd love to," Janet said.

"Saturday!" Sam suggested impulsively. "I'm not doing anything during the day, what about you?"

"Saturday sounds great," Janet said, thrilled to have an excuse to spend more time with her friend. She tried to shake off the feeling of guilt she felt; she knew in her heart of hearts that she wanted more than a friendship with this bewitching young woman, but even just a friendship was enough. For now.

Within a very short period, Sam and Janet became firm friends, seeing each other at least three times a week outside work. Sam learned from Janet that she had had a short, unhappy marriage with no children, but didn't push for any more information, as she could see that it made Janet very unhappy even to talk about it. She also knew that Janet was close friends with her head nurse Sharon and learned that Sharon had a female partner and two children. So Sam knew from that that Janet was at least not prejudiced against same-sex relationships. She hadn't yet told Janet that she was gay, but she was confident that when she plucked up the courage to do so, Janet wouldn't withdraw her friendship.

"I can't believe it's Christmas Eve already!" Janet looked out of Sam's apartment window in wonder at the snow falling on the ground. "And we're gonna have a white Christmas by the look of it!"

"Yeah," Sam smiled from her position on the couch. "It's looking real festive."

"That reminds me," Janet said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Sharon and Cora have invited me over to join the family for lunch tomorrow. They know we're good friends, and they've asked if I'll bring you over too. I don't know if you're doing anything, but if not, I'd really like it if you'd come."

"I don't have any plans at all," Sam said. "Apart from Midnight Mass tonight, I always like to go to that. But Sharon hardly knows me. And I haven't even met Cora," she protested.

"She'll love you," Janet said firmly. "And so will the kids. You can show Mikey your motorbike, he'll think you are so cool!" she laughed.

"And he'll be right!" Sam tried not to laugh. "I am cool," she tried to sound confident, but burst out laughing. "Okay, I admit it. I'm a nerd."

"But a very cool nerd," Janet teased.

"An extremely cool nerd," Sam grinned. "Hey, how about it? Come to Midnight Mass with me, I'll take you on my cool bike. We can be cool together."

"Okay," Janet replied impulsively.

"It's not actually at midnight," Sam admitted. "The minister likes to get home in time to hear the midnight bells. So it's 10.30pm to 11.30pm. It's a great church," she wondered if Janet would notice the high proportion of gay couples in the congregation. It might be a good way to let Janet know that she was gay, she mused. She had certainly never lied about it.

"I'll root out my leather jacket," Janet told her friend. "Okay, I must get back to the apartment now, if I don't do some housework, I'll disappear under the dust bunnies. I'll see you tonight?"

"Sure thing," Sam said.

"That was a lovely service," Janet said. She had really enjoyed the feeling of inclusivity that the church emanated. It was clear to her from early on that there were many same-sex couples in the congregation, and her heart leapt. Maybe Sam was gay, or bi, after all?

"I'm sorry we couldn't take the bike," Sam said sadly. "But it would be dumb in this snow," she unlocked the truck and helped Janet up into the high seat.

"Another time," Janet said. "Though I look a bit of a dork in this leather jacket."

Sam laughed. "I think you look great in it," she said, trying to keep her voice steady. Janet in leather was almost more than she could bear.

By the time they drew up outside Janet's apartment block, it was nearly midnight. "Thank you," Janet said. "It's been great." In the distance, she heard the chime of the church bells. "Midnight," she said dreamily.

"Time to make a Christmas wish," Sam said in a soft voice, looking deep into Janet's eyes.

Janet met her gaze. Was she really seeing what she thought she was seeing? It was now or never, she decided. She took her courage in both hands. "I've got a wish," she said, her voice cracking.

"Oh yeah?" Sam asked. "What is it?"

"I wish," Janet swallowed and took Sam's hand. "I wish, more than anything in this world, that you would kiss me."

Sam looked at her, her heart pounding so loud she was sure that Janet could hear it. "Are you sure?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"More sure than I have ever been," Janet replied, and reached up and caressed Sam's velvet cheek.

Later that Sam night, Janet reached over and kissed Sam tenderly. She looked into Sam's eyes, and saw nothing but love and tenderness, and the sight released the dam on her emotions. "Oh God, Sam," she said. "I love you so much. I..." she started to sob, trying to hold it back.

Disconcerted, Sam sat up slightly. "What is it Janet? Did I hurt you?"

"No," Janet said. "God no. That was beautiful. You're so beautiful. Nobody has ever made me feel the way you do," her sobbing increased. "With David, especially recently, it was so different. It was about control I guess. He was in charge. With you..." her words became almost incoherent, "with you... I've never felt more connected to someone else. I... I..."

"Shh," Sam whispered, gathering Janet in her arms and holding her tight. "It's okay, Janet. It's okay. He's gone now. You don't have to think about him any more. Let it go, honey," she rocked her lover gently and lovingly. "Cry all you need to. I'm here with you. I'll always be here. I love you Janet. I'll never let you go."

"Hold me," Janet pleaded, her words coming out in anguished gasps. "Just hold me."

"Always," Sam said gently, "always."


	3. Chapter 3

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sam asked in a soft voice, mindful of not wanting to put any pressure on Janet.

Janet shook her head miserably. "Not now," she said in a tiny voice. "I will tell you. All of it. Just not now, huh? Right now I don't want to think about him. I just want to enjoy being in your arms. Feeling you. Feeling safe."

"You are safe Jan," Sam whispered. "I'll always take care of you."

"I know," Janet replied, "I've never been so happy." She sniffed and wiped away her tears, then smiled. "I love you, Captain Carter," she said, "so very much."

Sam kissed her softly. "And I love you too, Dr Fraiser," she replied, trying to keep her voice even. "More than I ever knew was possible."

Six hours later, Janet awoke, taking a moment to realize that she was still wrapped in Sam's warm, strong arms. She blinked and looked up, to see Sam looking down on her with such tenderness it made her heart skip a beat. "Hey," Janet said, a small smile on her lips. "So it wasn't a dream, huh?"

"What wasn't a dream?" Sam asked.

"You. Here. In my bed. With me," Janet said. "It seems just too perfect to be true."

Sam smiled. "You're the one that's perfect," she kissed her softly. "And it's Christmas morning. It doesn't get much better than this."

"Merry Christmas," Janet said, claiming another kiss.

"It sure is," Sam smiled. She reached out and cupped Janet's face lovingly. "You're really here," she said, wistfully.

"I should hope so," Janet replied drily. "It is my apartment!"

Sam grinned. Then her face fell. "Shit!" she said, succinctly. "I don't have any Christmas gifts for Sharon and Cora's kids."

"That's okay," Janet said. "They know you didn't have time. Add your name to my gifts, it'll be fine."

"It's not the same," Sam pouted. Then she smiled. "I've got an idea," she said. "Is your computer hooked up to the 'net?" she motioned to the small desk in the corner of Janet's bedroom, which housed a laptop.

Janet nodded yes, so Sam slid out of the bed. She grabbed her shirt off the floor and pulled it over her head. "Okay for me to use it then?" she asked.

"Of course," Janet said. "As long as you don't read the emails from all my red-hot lovers, that is."

Sam grinned, and settled herself on the stool at the desk.

"What'cha doin'?" Janet asked.

Sam smiled again. "Wait and see," she teased. "You do the rotas in the infirmary, right?" she asked.

"Yeah...," Janet was suspicious.

"So," Sam said, "if I were to ask you to make sure that you and Sharon are both free on 9 January, d'you think you could arrange that?"

"Probably," Janet replied drily.

Sam turned to the screen, nodding toward the title, which said Monster Truck Expo! Get your tickets here! "Mikey'll like that, huh?" she asked Janet.

Janet smiled. "He'll love it!" she enthused. "He loves trucks. He loves trucks, trains, bikes, anything with an engine. So does Cora. What a great idea."

"So how about we all go, make a day of it?" Sam said. "What d'you think?"

"Captain Carter," Janet drawled. "Are you telling me that Mikey and Cora are not the only ones who want to see the monster trucks?"

Sam grinned. "I just wanna be a good hostess," she said.

"That's a great idea," Janet said. "I think we can have a real fun day."

"I'll get tickets for us all, then," Sam said, as she added the tickets to her cart.

"Want me to get your purse?" Janet asked.

"No need," Sam said. "I know my credit card details. What?" she laughed at the expression on Janet's face. "I'm good with numbers."

"She doesn't understand that she needs me," David Richmond said to his friend Mark that Christmas morning. Mark and his wife Gail had invited their friend round to join them for the Christmas meal, aware that he had been distraught since his wife had left him. "She falls apart without me."

"Maybe she'll be back, once she's had some time to herself?" Gail suggested helpfully.

David shook his head. "I'm scared she'll never come back at all," he said. "Without me to help her, God alone knows what's happening. She drinks you know," he said.

"Janet?" Gail was incredulous. "No! She seems so together."

"That's what she wants people to think," David said. "She never does it in public. But at home, it's awful. When she lost the baby," he put his head dramatically in his arms, "she told everybody she had tripped and fallen down the stairs. She did fall down the stairs," he said, "but only because she was so slammed she didn't know what she was doing."

Unaware of the magnitude of the lie that she had just heard, Gail got up from her seat and put her arms round David. "I'm so sorry, David," she said. "We had no idea."

"I just need to find her," he whispered, delighted that she had bought his act. "But I can't even call her. She changed her cell number, I can't find her anywhere."

"Hey Janet! And this must be Samantha," Cora welcomed the two women into the house.

"Hi," Sam replied, putting out her hand. "That's me. Call me Sam if you want. Or Samantha, whichever you prefer." She grinned, realizing that she was showing her nerves. "Thank you so much for inviting me to join you, it's so kind of you."

"It's a real pleasure," Cora said. "I know you and Janet are good friends, and God knows we've got enough food to feed a battalion. Sharon'll be right down. She's consoling Mikey," she explained. "We've had a bit of a disaster today," she motioned to the train set in the corner of the room. "Mikey's Christmas gift from Santa blew up in a puff of smoke. Sharon's telling him we'll get a new one when the stores re-open, but he's still real upset."

At that, Sam heard footsteps on the stairs. Sharon appeared in the hallway, a miserable Mikey in her arms. She kissed Janet and then Sam on the cheek. "Hey," she said. "Maybe you can help cheer this young man up?"

Sam smiled at her. "You know," she said. "Maybe I can. There's just a chance we'll be able to fix that. Mind if I take a look?"

"You're kidding?" Cora said.

"I'm quite good with circuits," Sam said modestly. "I think there's a good chance."

Mikey looked up from his mother's arms. "Can she really fix it?" he asked Sharon.

"I don't know, sweetie," Sharon said. "But Sam's a captain at the base where I work, and everybody knows she's a genius. If anyone can fix it, I'll bet she can."

Mikey wriggled from his mother's grasp, and ran over to where Sam was kneeling on the floor. "Hi," he said shyly.

"Hi," Sam replied with a warm smile. "It's good to meet you Mikey. I'm Sam."

"Can you fix my train?" Mikey asked.

Sam held the plug of the train set in her hand. "Yeah," she said. "I reckon I probably can. I'll need my tools though. I'll just go and get them from the truck."

"You have a truck?" Mikey's eyes lit up.

"Yeah," Sam said with a grin. "Wanna come see it, help me get the tools?"

Mikey nodded enthusiastically, and took Sam's hand. "You should put a coat on," Sam said, "it's cold out there. And ask your mom if you can come out with me."

"Can I Mom?" Mikey asked, tugging on Sharon's shirt. "Please? I wanna see Captain Sam's truck!"

"Sure you can," Sharon replied, helping him into his coat.

"I can probably get you Janet's new cell number," Mark took David to one side. "I know I shouldn't. But as long as she's still with the company," Mark worked for major cellphone network Textel, "and has only changed her number, there's a good chance I can get it for you. But you can't tell anyone," he gestured to Gail. "Or I could lose my job. I just want to help Janet. And if she really doesn't want to see you, she'll just hang up, right?"

"Right," David tried to keep the note of triumph out of his voice. "Thank you Mark. I just want to help her. She's my wife; it's my duty to look after her."

"I'll call you Tuesday," Mark promised.

Cora headed upstairs to check on the baby, and Janet tried without success to persuade Sharon to let her help with the cooking. "No," Sharon insisted. "Really, it's just about done. Come talk to me, though, while I finish up. Coffee?" she asked.

"Please," Janet said, gratefully accepting a mug. She stood in the doorway of the kitchen, which gave her a good view of Sam who was sitting cross-legged on the floor of the living room, Mikey hanging on her every word, as she dismembered the train set.

"She's a real hit with our son," Sharon said. "Do you think she can really fix it?"

"I have no doubt at all," Janet smiled. "Sam's the smartest person I've ever met."

"Bet she's real good in bed too, huh?" Sharon asked cheekily.

"Sharon!" Janet squealed in horror, spraying coffee all over the kitchen floor. "I can't believe you just said that!"

"It's your fault," Sharon laughed. "You haven't been able to keep your eyes off of her since you got here. Correct me if I'm wrong," she smiled, "but it looks to me very much like your relationship has hit a new level in the last few days," she teased.

"I don't know what you mean," Janet tried to remain dignified, but was unable to keep a wide grin off her face.

"You're gonna have to practice your poker face a lot more if you think you're gonna convince anyone that you and Sam are just friends," Sharon said.

"It's that obvious, huh?" Janet gave up.

"Totally," Sharon smiled. "And it's great!" she pulled Janet into a tight hug. "Be happy," she whispered.

"I am," Janet was disconcerted to find tears gathering in her eyes. "I don't think I've ever been so happy. And yes," she grinned shyly, "you're right. She is good. She's amazing."

"Just as long as she deserves you," Sharon said.

"Oh she does," Janet said with fervour. "This likely sounds a bit trite. But Sam... Sam is incredible. She has the purest soul of anyone I've ever met. Sorry," Janet laughed at herself. "I didn't mean to be so corny."

"That's not corny," Sharon said, in a serious tone. "That's wonderful. You deserve some happiness Janet. After everything. Does she know about David?"

Janet shook her head. "Not really," she said. "I've promised I'll tell her everything, and I will. We only really got together yesterday. But I'll tell her everything as soon as I can."

"Everything?" Sharon queried.

"Everything," Janet said firmly. "I know it'll be difficult, but I don't want there to be any secrets between us. I want to know all about her too."

"Clean slate, huh?" Sharon said.

"Yeah," Janet said.

There was a cry of delight from the living room. "Mommy!" Mikey squealed. "Captain Sam has fixed it! It's working. Come look!"

Sharon and Janet went out into the living room, and exclaimed over the moving train.

"Captain Sam?" Janet said in a low voice to Sam.

Sam grinned. "I told him he can call me Sam, but he keeps calling me Captain," she said.

"Looks like you're stuck with the name then," Janet smiled. "And you've got a big fan there," she motioned to Mikey.

"What can I say?" Sam grinned. "The kid's got taste!"

"I want to sit next to Captain Sam!" Mikey declared as they moved to the table. "Can I Mom? Momma?" he fixed both his parents with a pleading look.

"Of course you can," Janet answered for her friends. "As long as you promise to eat all your sprouts, right Sharon?"

"Right!" Sharon laughed.

"I will, I swear!" Mikey said.

"Wow, I don't think I'm gonna need to eat for at least a fortnight," Sam eased herself into the driving seat of her truck as they left Sharon and Cora's house that evening. "Thank you all," she called through the window to the waving family. "It's been a wonderful day. And we'll see you all on the 9th, right?"

Three hours later, Janet turned over in Sam's arms, and grinned. "So," she said, "this is how we're gonna spend the Christmas break then, huh?"

Sam smiled back. "I guess so," she said, "unless you can think of something better to do?"

Janet's face clouded slightly. "I can't think of anything better," she said. "But," she took a deep breath. "We should talk."

"About him?" Sam guessed.

"Yeah," Janet's voice was shaky. "About him."

Sam reached up and cupped Janet's face tenderly. "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," her tone was loving. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

Janet shook her head slightly. "I don't want to talk about him," she admitted. "I never want to think about him again. But I want you to know everything. About him," she swallowed, "about the baby. About me. I don't want there to be any secrets between us."

Sam kissed her softly. "If you want to talk, sweetheart, then we'll talk. Just promise me one thing, huh?"

"What's that?" Janet asked.

"Just remember that I love you. Whatever has happened, whatever went before. I love you for the beautiful person you are now. You're so beautiful Janet, and not just on the outside. I want you to remember that I'll always be on your side, I'll always love you, protect you. I want to be with you forever," Sam's eyes glistened as she found herself tearing up. This was the first mention Janet had made of a baby, and she just knew that she wasn't going to be hearing anything good.

"Okay," Janet said. "I love you too Sam. So much. God," she said, "this is hard."

"Just start at the beginning, Jan, and take it slowly," Sam advised, pulling Janet closer to her.

"It was good at the beginning," Janet said. "He was charming. And funny. And smart. I've always had a thing about brains," she smiled at Sam. "He had just qualified as a lawyer, and I was coming to the end of my training. I wasn't looking for romance. I'd not long split up from my girlfriend Megan; we were together about 18 months. So I was happy to just be by myself for a while. But he was in the bar where we medical students all went on a Friday night. And he was cute. At least I thought so then," she shuddered at the thought of ever having found him attractive. She could barely remember the charming David, and could only remember the image of him leaning over her, his fists clenched.

"Take your time, Janet," Sam said gently.

Janet shook herself. "We dated for nearly two years. Then we got married. And it was still good then. He was very solicitous of me. It hadn't occurred to me that he took too much interest in everything that I did. I just thought he was being romantic. He became more controlling as time went by, but I didn't even notice to start with. I loved him so much then, it didn't occur to me that anything was wrong. But then he started to criticize the clothes I was wearing. Said they were too revealing. So I changed the way I dressed, to please him. But it seemed that the more I changed, the more things he found that he didn't like. Before I knew what was happening, I was starting to be scared of what he'd think, whether he'd like what I was wearing, what mood he'd be in when he got home."

"He hit you, didn't he Jan?" Sam asked softly.

"Yeah," Janet admitted. "He did. I couldn't believe it the first time he did it. It was just over a year after we got married. I came home early one day. I was sick, I'd picked up a nasty bug from one of the patients. So I was feeling terrible, fever, nausea, the lot. I just went straight to bed."

"He hit you when you were _sick_?" Sam was astounded.

"Yeah," Janet said. "He came back that evening, to find the house in darkness, no dinner on the table, no warm welcome from his wife. So he came into the bedroom. I had never seen him so angry, Sam," Janet paled at the memory. "He grabbed me, by the hair, dragged me out of bed, screaming at me, totally out of control. He wanted to know what made me think it was okay for me to lie in bed and forget about my wifely duties."

"Wifely duties?" Sam almost exploded. "Oh God, Janet. What happened?"

"He threw me against the wall, and punched me," Janet remembered. "He was clever, made sure that there were no bruises on my face. He hit me several times; it was kind of frenzied, like he'd been taken over by something. Then he stormed out of the house."

"What did you do?" Sam's voice was not much more than a whisper.

"Nothing," Janet admitted miserably. "I tried to get back into bed, but he'd cracked my ribs. I was so weak already, I passed out from the pain. So when he got back three hours later, I was still lying on the floor. He changed completely then, Sam. He picked me, put me to bed. Tended to me. Stayed with me. He was so sorry, he was crying with remorse. So I forgave him. It was stupid, I know. I should have walked then. I know that now."

"It's not your fault, Janet," Sam soothed. "You loved him. You wanted everything to be okay."

"It was okay after that," Janet said. "For a while. He seemed much better, he was gentler with me. Kinder. We started to laugh again. We hadn't laughed for so long. I really thought it would be okay. But then he came home early one day. It just so happened that that same day, my car had broken down. So one of the porters at the hospital gave me a ride home. David saw me getting out of Jason's car, and he went wild. He hurt me so badly. I had to pretend I'd broken my wrist falling down the stairs. The stupid thing is that Jason is gay. He's been with his partner for 15 years, I'm the last person he'd have an affair with. But David wouldn't believe me. This time, when I got back from the hospital, he still treated me suspiciously. He didn't apologize. He still acted like it was my fault. So I decided to leave him. But then," a tear ran down Janet's face, "the very next day I discovered I was pregnant. David found the pregnancy testing kit in the trash can. And he was so excited. He was like a kid. He apologized then, swore he would go to anger management classes. And he did, and it was almost like it was in the beginning. He was so gentle and tender with me. Even in bed," Janet blushed. "Sorry," she said to Sam.

Sam took her hand and held it lovingly, kissing her fingers. "Don't be sorry, Janet," she whispered. "You loved him. I don't expect you never to have loved anyone before."

"He was great, for nearly four months," Janet continued. "He looked after me so well, he was so sweet. But then it happened," Janet started to shake. "Oh God, Sam, it was so awful."

Sam pulled Janet tightly to her so that the smaller woman was cradled in her lap. "Shh," Sam said. "You don't have to go on. You can stop, or tell me another day. It's all going to be okay, Janet," she rocked her lover gently as Janet started to cry in earnest, her small frame wracked with sobs. "It's alright baby. I love you."

"I want to finish telling you," Janet managed to pull herself together. "Then we never have to talk about him again."

"Okay, Jan, whatever you want," Sam said. "It's all okay now, though, remember that."

"It's not quite okay," Janet said miserably. "You've probably guessed, but I lost the baby. I was five months' along, and David had been really good for the whole of the pregnancy. But that night, when he came home, I could just tell by the way the front door shut, that he was sparring for a fight. I tried so hard to appease him. To say the right thing. Not to make him any angrier. But he went crazy. Before I knew what had happened, I was lying on the ground, and he was kicking me, again and again. He told the paramedics I'd fallen down the stairs. He tried to pretend it was my fault, that I hadn't been paying attention. I lost the baby, but I still had to give birth to her. It was a baby girl, Sam," Janet shuddered with remembered grief.

"She lived for under a minute," Janet continued. "She had to have a birth certificate, and a death certificate. Both with the same date. I called her Amelia. Amelia Fraiser, not Richmond. He doesn't know that. I'll never tell him. I don't want him to have any part of her. I wouldn't let them let him in. They all knew, the medics, what had happened. They'd seen it too many times before. It got worse after that. They couldn't stop the bleeding." Janet looked up into Sam's eyes. "I lost my baby, and then I lost my womb. They had to give me an emergency hysterectomy. I can't have children Sam. I can never have babies," at this Janet lost the last vestige of control and started to sob.

Sam didn't know what to say to Janet. There was nothing she could tell her that would make anything any better. So she just rocked her, holding her tight in her arms. Eventually, Janet stilled. "Thank you," Sam whispered. "Thank you for telling me. I'm so sorry, Janet. I can't imagine how hard that was for you. It's over now Jan. He's no longer part of your life. I'll never let anybody treat you like that, ever again."

"I know," Janet said. "Hold me Sam. Please just hold me," she pleaded. "Tell me we can still make it. That you still love me."

"Oh baby," Sam's heart was breaking. "If possible, I love you even more than before. You're all I need. Maybe one day I'll have our babies. Maybe not. We can't know what the future holds. The only thing I care about right now is being with you, loving you. I never want us to be apart Janet."


	4. Chapter 4

"Mommy!" Mikey cried as he sat atop Sam's shoulders at the Monster Truck expo. "Look at what that truck's doing!"

Sharon smiled, and looked over at her lover. From the expression on Cora's face, if possible she was enjoying the spectacle even more than their son. She touched Janet's arm. "This was such a good idea," she said.

Janet smiled. "It was Sam who thought of it," she said. "Frankly I think she's just pleased to borrow Mikey to have an excuse to come. Look at her, she's having the time of her life!" she pointed to Sam who was grinning from ear to ear.

"I've said it before, and I'll say it again," Janet put her hand over Sam's as they drove home from Sharon and Cora's house. "You, Captain Carter, are a genius."

Sam grinned. "It was a great day, wasn't it? Did you see Mikey's face?" she asked.

"Yeah," Janet said. "It was just like yours! Truly Sam, I swear I've never seen you so excited."

Sam grinned back. "It was real fun," she said. "So, Dr Fraiser, what do you want to do tonight?"

"Nothing," Janet said firmly. "I just want to be with you."

"How about we get a ridiculously expensive bottle of Merlot, and put on a few CDs?" Sam suggested.

"Perfect," Janet smiled as she sat back in her seat. "You can start taking me through Bach," she mused.

"Deal," Sam said, a contented smile on her face. She pulled up at the lights, and looked straight into Janet's eyes. "This was a good day, baby," she said to her.

"It was, Sam," Janet agreed. "It really was."

"How long for?" Janet tried to keep her voice even. She knew that this was part of the deal, part of what it meant to be Sam's partner.

"I'll be back later today," Sam put a reassuring hand on Janet's arm. "It's a fascinating planet, it has some sort of volcanic beach. We're just going to get samples, preliminary recon, nothing more. I expect we'll be gone less than six hours. There's no danger, Janet, I swear." Sam hated that she was causing Janet anxiety, but this was part of her job. It was also the first time she had gone offworld and left behind somebody she cared about, who cared as much about her. "I'll be as careful as I can, Jan, I swear," Sam pulled Janet to her and kissed her softly. "You should go," she said. "Leave a message on my cell if your shift is over before we get back," Sam asked.

Janet shook her head. Sam looked confused. "No," Janet explained. "I'm not leaving this mountain until I'm sure you're back safe and sound. I'll make some excuse about running tests or something if I need to."

"But we could be late," Sam objected. "I really don't know what time we'll be back. I don't want you missing sleep if we're delayed."

"I won't sleep until I see your face anyway," Janet admitted.

Sam pulled Janet back by the bookshelf, enveloping her in her long arms, and just held her close for a few seconds. "Never forget how much I love you," she whispered to her. She released her and stroked her cheek before clearing her throat. "Okay," she said. "Get back to the infirmary, doctor, before they send a search party. I'll see you for the pre-mission medical."

Janet squeezed her fingers before pulling herself up to her full height and striding back to the infirmary. She could still feel Sam's soft fingers on her cheek. Janet wondered how she could ever before have believed herself in love; what she felt now was on a whole different level to anything she had ever experienced.

David Richmond flicked through the Rolodex on his office desk. Finding the number he was looking for, he dialed. The call was quickly answered. "Ernie?" David said.

"Who wants to know?" the voice replied warily.

"Ernie, it's me. David. Richmond. From Stevens & Sparks," David was impatient.

"Hey dude," Ernie replied. "Don't tell me, you need me to find somebody for a client?"

"Not exactly," David said. "This one's off the record. Can you meet me in the coffee shop across from the park in," he looked at his watch, "two hours?"

"Sure, whatever you need," Ernie replied.

"Just one thing," David said. "Don't tell anybody you're meeting me, right?"

Janet was just starting to wonder if she could expect Sam back anytime soon. SG-1 had left Earth nearly four hours before. She let herself imagine she would soon see Sam's dazzling smile as she strode down the ramp in the 'gate room. At that moment, she heard the klaxon sounding. She held her breath, and then her blood ran cold as she heard the dreaded words "medical team to the 'gate room". Janet set a new record for running to the elevator, and cursed as it took almost 20 seconds to reach level 21, where her infirmary was housed. She was just about to sprint to the stairs to bolt down to level 28 when she heard the 'ping' and flung herself into the elevator, all the while issuing instructions via her radio to bring gurneys and med kits. Just over one minute after the tannoy's announcement, she was in the 'gate room, just in time to see a soaking wet and dazed Sam appear on the ramp, seemingly supported by Teal'c. O'Neill walked alongside them, looking equally dazed.

She ran over to the team, knowing she should try and ascertain from O'Neill what had happened. "Colonel," she said sharply. "Look at me, look at me!"

She could tell from the expression on his face that she wasn't going to get any information from him. At least he appeared to be in no immediate danger. She turned her attention to Sam, putting a gentle hand on her knee. She was shocked by the lack of response from the usually very animated woman. Through Sam's soaking fatigues, she could feel her shaking badly.

"They're in shock," Janet barked. "Get them to the infirmary!" She just wanted to wrap her arms round Sam, cradle her, tell her it was going to be okay. But she knew that right now her medical expertise was what was needed. And where was Daniel anyway?

"Colonel?" General Hammond asked. "Where's Dr. Jackson?"

Sam finally lifted her head from her hands, looking pale, sick and frightened. Janet's heart sank at her words, "He didn't make it, Sir."

At that, O'Neill also looked up. "Daniel's dead, sir," he said.

Janet found it hard to tamp down her emotions as she dealt with all three patients. O'Neill and Teal'c were both shaken and tetchy. Sam seemed even more traumatized. She didn't speak as Janet and one of the nurses removed her sodden clothing, toweling her dry, dressing her in scrubs and wrapping her in warm blankets. Janet pulled the curtain round the bed. "Hey," she said quietly, cupping Sam's cold cheek in her soft hand. "I'm gonna take care of you, honey," she whispered. "You'll be okay."

Sam looked up at her, pain radiating across her face. "He's gone isn't he?" she asked, the trauma of the day starting to register. "Why can't I stop shaking?" she gasped, failing to contain the tears that coursed down her face.

Janet put her hand on Sam's arm. "You're still in shock, Sam," she said quietly. "It's alright, baby, you'll be alright. Can I get another warm blanket here, please?" she asked. She knew she had to try and keep Sam calm. "I want you to take some slow deep breaths for me," she said tenderly, as she placed the stethoscope on Sam's chest. "You want to tell me what happened?"

Sam looked up at her. Janet's concern grew as she heard her racing heart, and saw the distraught look on Sam's face. "He screamed," Sam said. "and...and there was this fire, and then he...he called out for help, and then he...screamed...and then he...he was gone! He was just..."

Janet pulled the weeping captain into her arms. She knew she and Sam had to keep their relationship a secret, but she could tell her lover was just seconds from full-blown hysteria. It was her duty, as her doctor as well as her lover, to do what she could to calm her. "5cc's," she called quietly to the nurse who was standing the other side of the curtain. She pulled back slightly from Sam so that her hug might look purely professional when the nurse returned. After she had injected the sedative, Janet helped Sam to lie down, without releasing her from the embrace, so that Sam was lying on her side, buried in Janet's front, her breath coming in short gasps. After a few minutes, their proximity and the sedative started to take effect, and Janet could tell that Sam's breathing was evening out. She rolled her gently on to her back, pulling up all the blankets to her chin. She stroked Sam's forehead lovingly. "Shh," she said. "Sleep now, if you can. I have to go, check on the others. But I'll be back real soon, I swear. I'll get Sharon to sit with you until I'm back, okay?"

Sam nodded drowsily.

"I love you, baby," Janet whispered into her ear as she kissed her chastely on the lips.

When Janet returned to her lover's side after half an hour, she saw Sharon sitting by her head, holding her hand and rubbing her back reassuringly.

"She okay?" she asked Sharon.

"She's not feeling so good," Sharon said quietly, "but she'll be okay soon, huh Sam?"

Sam nodded miserably. "Sorry," she said.

Janet moved to her bedside, and ran her hand through her thick hair. "You don't have to be sorry, Sam," she said. "I'm here now, sweetie. You'll be feeling better real soon. The others are okay."

"Daniel?" Sam asked, already knowing the answer.

"No, baby," Janet said. "We haven't seen him."

"I know," Sam said, dumbly. "I just... I know we saw him die," she paled at the memory. "Oh God, Janet, it was awful," she started to shake again. "Burning. Flames. He was screaming so loud. And we didn't save him, Janet. We couldn't."

Janet leaned over the bed, sliding one arm under Sam's head and using the other to cradle her. "You did all you could, Sam. Right now all you can do is get better. We'll talk about this. Right now I'm going to give you another sedative, okay? You have to try and rest, or you'll make yourself sick."

"Nothing makes any sense," Sam's tone was desperate.

"I know, baby," Janet spoke quietly. "We'll talk about it all tomorrow. All of you. Thank you Sharon," she nodded approval as the nurse drew up 10cc's and motioned for her to inject it into the IV in the back of Sam's hand. "You're gonna feel real drowsy now. Just remember, whatever happens, I'm here. If you get nightmares or anything, I'll be right with you. I won't leave you, I swear." She stroked Sam's forehead lovingly until the blonde finally gave up her struggle and surrendered to sleep.

The night that followed was one that would haunt Janet for a while. Sam was extremely restless, waking up often, crying out with fear and desperation. Janet couldn't give her any more sedative, so all she could do was hold her and reassure her that she was safe. Every time Sam awoke, she again remembered Daniel's fate, and the horror of the memory seemed to get worse, not better. Janet was even more worried by Sam's apparently clouded mental state. "He's dead," she wept in Janet's arms. "But then I think he's alive. Jan, nothing makes sense. Oh God, Janet, we saw him burning. Smelt his charred flesh... it must be real. It must be." Her utterances became more muddled, which distressed her further. "I'm losing my mind," she muttered at one point.

Janet kicked off her shoes and climbed onto the bed, pulling Sam into her arms. Right then, she didn't care who walked in on them. "Sam," she whispered softly, stroking her lover's face. "Listen to me, sweetie. You've had an awful experience. You've witnessed something nobody should ever have to see. You're upset, you're still in shock. And you're grieving for one of your best friends. Of course you're gonna wonder what's real and what isn't. Don't over-think anything right now. Focus on my arms round you. I'll always be here, Sam, I'll take care of you. You've got a hard day ahead tomorrow, you need to try and sleep. Try and take deep breaths, Sam. Focus. In," she counted to three. "Out. In. Out. That's it, baby. You're doing great. Hold my hand, Sam. I'm strong enough for both of us right now. That's it," she felt Sam's fingers intertwining with her own. "Good girl. See if you can sleep a bit now."

At around 3am, Janet judged it safe to slide out from under Sam, and settle herself in the chair next to the bed. Sam was a higher priority than safeguarding their secret, but there was no point in looking for trouble. She pushed the chair right up against the bed, so was still able to cradle Sam's head. Their hands remained linked throughout. "It'll all be better soon," Janet whispered to Sam, unsure if she was telling the truth or not.

Janet kept a close watch on Sam as well as O'Neill and Teal'c during the next few days. Her heart swelled with pride when she saw how Sam was holding it together. She coped during the memorial service, even taking part in the ceremonies. Janet accompanied her to the wake, where O'Neill lost control; even then, Sam managed to retain her composure. She had a brief blip when they were all clearing Daniel's apartment, but she soon pulled it back. However, later that night in Janet's arms, she sobbed helplessly. "I'm sorry," Sam told Janet. "I'm such a screw-up. You shouldn't have to deal with this."

Janet just kissed Sam softly, pulling Sam's hand to her own breast. "It's okay, baby," Janet whispered. "We'll just hold each other, huh?"

Sam nodded.

The next day, Sam's professional mask returned, and Janet was amazed when she volunteered to undergo hypnosis to try and find out what had really happened to Daniel. "I can't be in there with you," Janet explained gently to Sam. "I'll only distract you. Mackenzie is real good, he knows what he's doing. And the colonel will be right there with you."

"I know," Sam said in a quiet voice. "It'll be fine. Maybe," she took a deep breath, "at least if we can know what happened. That'll help. Won't it?" she looked pleadingly into Janet's eyes.

"Of course it will," Janet said. "Be strong baby," she said.

"I'm always strong when I know you're near," Sam whispered, resting her forehead against Janet's.

"I'll be watching from the observation room," Janet told her. "You'll have your back to me, so you won't be able to see. But I'm right with you, every step of the way."

"He's burning!" Sam cried. "Help him!"

"I want you to move on to what happened next," Mackenzie said quietly.

"Darkness...," Sam said. Her eyes flickered and she whimpered. She leapt up from the seat, shouting "we've got to get to the water!" O'Neill stepped forward and put a hand on her arm.

Janet only just managed to hold it together, desperately wanting to run down to the infirmary, and take Sam in her arms. But she could see that O'Neill would take care of her.

"We've got to get out of here!" Sam cried out desperately. "My God, Colonel, we left him behind. We left him behind," she started to sob.

O'Neill pulled Sam firmly into his arms. "I know, Carter," he said in a voice so soothing and tender that Janet was startled. She hadn't realized until that moment quite how soft and caring O'Neill was, and how much he clearly cared about Sam. "It's okay," O'Neill said to Sam, "We're going back. We're going back." He gestured to Mackenzie to leave, which the doctor did, leaving them alone. O'Neill looked up at the observation room. "Doc?" he said to Janet. "I think we could use you now."

Janet didn't need asking twice and, within seconds, she was at Sam's side. O'Neill released his hold on his 2IC. "Check her over, doc," he said. "Make sure she's okay."

Sam wiped the tears from her face. "I'm fine," she said, trying to put as much energy as she could in her voice. "Really, I'm okay."

"'course you are Carter," O'Neill smiled. "Let the doc check though. It'll give her something to do. Don't want her feeling unwanted now, do we?"

"We certainly don't Sir," Sam smiled, trying not to catch Janet's eye.

"Want me to drive?" Janet offered as headed toward the car lot much later that day. Sam was still bubbling with excitement at having found Daniel safe and well, but Janet worried that she might have trouble concentrating.

"No it's okay," Sam said. "Anyway," she grinned, "I'm not completely convinced you can reach the pedals in my truck!" she ducked as Janet tried to swat her.

Janet briefly pretended to sulk, but inwardly she was thrilled to see that Sam had regained her spark. She had hated seeing her suffer over the past week, and was relieved to know that it was all over. She was also delighted beyond measure at Daniel's return. Like most of the others at the SGC, she was very fond of the amiable archaeologist, and she knew how important he was to Sam.

"You sit," Janet pushed Sam gently into a chair in her own living room. "I'll cook."

Sam looked embarrassed. "I don't think there's much food in the kitchen," she admitted. "I'm not sure what you'll find."

Janet grinned. "Well I know _that_," she said. "I love you Captain Carter, but it's not for your domestic abilities. That's why I asked Sharon to pick some stuff up when she went out for groceries at lunchtime," she held a bag in the air. "Steak, new potatoes, broccoli, how does that sound?"

"Heavenly," Sam said as she sank back in the chair, suddenly bone weary.

When Janet emerged from the kitchen half an hour later bearing a tray, Sam was almost asleep in the chair. "Hey," Janet nudged her awake gently. "You feel up to some dinner?"

Sam smiled sleepily. "Sorry," she said. "I don't know what happened there," she said. "This looks amazing Jan."

They ate their dinner companionably in silence. Janet took the empty plate from Sam, shooting her a warning look when Sam tried to rise from the seat to help clean up. "Not tonight," she said. "I'm in charge tonight. I want you to take it easy. From tomorrow, you can do as many dishes as you want. Okay?"

Sam smiled. "Okay," she agreed. Fifteen minutes later, Janet returned to the living room, bearing a tumbler with an inch of whisky in the bottom.

"No ice," Janet said, "just how you like it."

"Angel," Sam said. She could hear water running.

Janet perched on the edge of Sam's chair and kissed her tenderly. "I thought you might like to take a bath," she said. "Relax in the hot water."

Sam blinked back tears. How did Janet know her so well? "Yeah," she said, her voice cracking. "That would be amazing."


	5. Chapter 5

"Ernie?" David Richmond sounded pissed. "Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to get through to you on the 'phone for days now."

"I told you it would take time," Ernie replied, barely concealing his impatience. "It's not like you've given me much to go on. Name, cellphone number and the fact that she's probably still in the air force. You gotta give me time, man."

"How much time?" David's voice was low and dangerous.

"Call me in a week," Ernie said. "I've made some progress, but I'm waiting on information from some of my contacts. It's not an exact science, you know. These things are sensitive."

"I'll call you in three days," David said. "And you'd better hope you've got some answers for me."

"I'm gonna get a dog," O'Neill announced, as SG-1 sat round the campfire on P3X-988. "I always used to have a dog. I like dogs."

Daniel smiled back. "Great idea Jack. As long as you've got somebody lined up to care for it when you're away. Don't look at me," he held his hands up. "Allergies."

"I know," O'Neill said impatiently. "Anyway, space monkey, you're away most times that I am. No, I talked to Siler. He said he'll take it, and if he can't I'm sure I can find somebody who can. I've got a big yard, so it can be out during the day. I'll build it a kennel!" he smiled widely.

You'll build the kennel, Sir?" Sam asked tentatively. She knew that the colonel had his strengths, but judging by the number of 'doohickies' he'd broken in her lab, she doubted that manual dexterity was one of them.

"Build, buy, what's the difference?" O'Neill said with a crooked grin.

"No difference," Sam smiled. "None at all."

"What's up with you Carter, don't you like dogs?" O'Neill teased.

"Me Sir?" Sam asked. "I love dogs. I think they're great. One day I want us to have a dog, the bigger the better," she smiled at the thought.

"Us?" O'Neill asked, picking up on Sam's slip of the tongue. "So there's an _us_ now is there Carter?"

Daniel looked round. "You never told me you were dating!" he said, an eager, open look on his face.

Sam blushed. "No, I didn't," she said, realizing that she'd given herself away. "It's early days," she said.

"Not too early to be considering a dog!" O'Neill said. "C'mon Carter, spill. Who's the lucky guy?"

"It's not important," Sam tried to backtrack.

"Just a casual thing, huh?" O'Neill pressed.

"No," Sam said in a quiet voice. "Not casual at all actually Sir."

"But private," Daniel said, coming to Sam's rescue.

"Yeah," Sam shot him a grateful look. "For the moment."

"Ah c'mon, Carter, I want to know what geek has managed to capture your heart!" O'Neill grinned widely.

"I believe Captain Carter is uneasy at this interrogation," Teal'c intoned in a serious voice. "I am sure that when she is ready, she will share the information with us."

"I will," Sam said. "I swear. Just not now," her tone was firm, and she stood up. "I'm gonna hit the sack," she said. "I'll be ready for my watch in two hours. G'night guys," she said, and walked off before she said anything she regretted. A big part of her desperately wanted to talk about Janet, about her many perfections, about how happy she made her. But she knew the rules. One day, she'd know them well enough to tell them.

"You told them what?" Janet was grinning.

"I told them there's an 'us'," Sam said glumly. "Now they're gonna be watching my every move. I'm so sorry, Jan," she looked up at Janet, misery evident in her face. "I didn't mean to make life more difficult."

"Would it be such a big deal if they knew?" Janet asked, keeping her tone light. "After all, they are your friends. My friends too," she added. "They wouldn't judge us."

"I know that," Sam still sounded distinctly unhappy. "I just don't want to make things awkward. Don't ask, don't tell, all that bull."

"And it is bull," Janet reminded Sam. "My guess is that the colonel and Daniel think so too. And Teal'c. Teal'c has such respect for you baby. Only last week, he told me," she couldn't keep the proud smile off her face, "that he thinks you are one of the most formidable warriors he's ever met."

"Did he?" Sam brightened slightly. "Wow. That's some compliment, coming from Teal'c."

"Try and relax," Janet advised. "Sure we're not gonna advertise our relationship. But I'll be honest, Sam, I'm not gonna try all that hard to hide it either. Sometimes we come in to the mountain in the same car. Let people draw whatever conclusions they want. Anyway, surely one day soon, the rules will change. God," she looked pensive. "I can't wait for that day to come. I want to be able to tell everybody just how happy I am. How my life has been totally transformed by this sexy Air Force captain."

"Has it?" Sam's eyebrow quirked. "Now there's a coincidence. My life has been transformed by this hot little doctor I came across on the 21st floor of a top-secret underground complex."

"Well whaddaya know?" Janet grinned. "Love is in the air, huh?"

"Hey Sam," Janet said as she entered her lab half way through the next day. "What are you doing?"

Sam looked up, more than usually pleased to see Janet. "Hey," she said, real warmth in her voice. "Janet?" she said. "Have you noticed the way the men on the base are acting?" Sam was disconcerted, as she had had a very disturbing morning, with Daniel, the colonel and even General Hammond seemingly falling for the charms of the Goa'uld Hathor.

"Yes," Janet said, sounding frustrated. "You noticed too?"

"No kidding," Sam replied. "It all seems to be tied into the arrival of this Hathor person ... or, whatever she is. I'm researching her right now on the 'net. This is really Daniel's field, so I'm kinda starting from scratch. This one academic webpage theorizes that a bunch of the sex goddesses from different cultures were actually all the same woman. Hathor. The Greeks identified her with Aphrodite, there's Ishtar of Babylon, Astarte of Syria, Ceres of Rome... According to the stories, this woman had magical powers over men. She was supposed to be able to seduce them into doing anything for her. In almost every case, it describes them as 'drunk with her presence'.

"Well," Janet mused. "That would be how I'd describe our boys. What are we going to do Sam?"

Sam took a deep breath. "We have no choice," she said. "I suggest we neutralize her."

Janet nodded her agreement.

Janet went off to round up the few other women on the base, while Sam spoke with Teal'c, discovering to her great relief that he was unaffected by Hathor. They all worked tirelessly together to rid the SGC of Hathor's pernicious influence.

At times it looked like their efforts were going to fail, as they were overpowered, imprisoned and then, horrifyingly, Janet was shot. Sam's heart was in her mouth when she saw Janet take the hit in her shoulder, and wanted nothing more than to run to her side and take care of her. However, she saw Janet rise shakily to her feet, and knew she was going to be okay. Sam's military training kicked in, and she and the colonel sprinted to the armory to get tranquillizer darts to free the rest of the SGC personnel from Hathor's control.

Eventually, Sam and the colonel managed to liberate the rest of the SGC personnel from Hathor though, unfortunately, Hathor herself escaped through the Stargate before they were able to stop her. Sam had an unpleasant foreboding that this was not the last that they would see of her.

"Well done, Carter," O'Neill said, as he took Daniel's arm and started to lead him to the infirmary to have him checked out. Daniel was looking dazed and embarrassed, as his role in the whole debacle became cringe-makingly clear to him.

"Thank you Sir," Sam said, suddenly feeling drained and simultaneously greatly relieved that the danger was now over. She was itching to get down to the infirmary, to check on Janet.

"I mean it Carter," O'Neill said, "God knows what would have happened if you hadn't stepped in the way you did."

"It wasn't just me, Sir," Sam said modestly.

"You mobilized everyone," O'Neill said. "Okay, Danny boy, let's get you to Fraiser."

"It won't be Janet," Sam said. "She was hurt," Sam tried to keep her voice even as she reminded the colonel that Janet and Teal'c had been shot. "In fact, I think I'll just go check on her, is that okay Sir?"

"Knock yourself out Carter," O'Neill replied. "And tell her thanks from me, huh?"

"I will Sir," Sam was already half out of the door. She reached the elevator, but frustratingly it wasn't there. Unwilling to wait even a few seconds more than necessary, Sam decided to take the stairs. By the time she had climbed seven flights, she was breathing hard. She burst into the infirmary, and was relieved to see Sharon by the door. "Is she okay?" Sam demanded.

Sharon smiled. "She'll be fine, Sam," she said. "The bullet went right through. It's gonna hurt like hell for a while, but the bullet hasn't caused any lasting damage."

"I need to see her," Sam said. "Where is she?"

"She's in her office," Sharon replied. "I thought it would be more peaceful for her there. She's okay, Sam, she's been treated and she can go home tonight. As long as there's somebody to take care of her, that is."

Sam finally smiled. "Sorry," she said. "I've been rude. I was just worried."

"Of course you were," Sharon said. "She's in there. Waiting for you. She might be asleep, though. Those painkillers are strong."

"Thanks, Sharon," Sam put a grateful hand on her arm. "I appreciate it."

Quietly, Sam let herself into Janet's office, and was relieved to see the young doctor curled up asleep on the couch, wrapped in a warm blanket. Sam's eyes filled with tears as she approached her lover, and saw that her color was good and that she was sleeping peacefully. Her arm was in a sling, but otherwise she looked unhurt. Sam leant against the arm of the couch to steady herself. She couldn't help but think how this could have gone down; if the bullet had been a few inches lower... Sam inhaled sharply and banished the thought from her mind. Janet was going to be fine, and the SGC would get back to normal. This time.

Sam turned away to find a chair; she would wait until Janet awakened, and then she would take her home with her.

"No," Janet said in a quiet voice.

"Jan?" Sam spoke softly.

"No chair," Janet's words were slightly slurred. "Here. With me. On the couch." She opened her eyes and looked up at Sam. "Hold me for a bit," she asked.

Sam knelt down next to Janet, and ran her hand lovingly down her face. She kissed her tenderly. "Okay," she said simply. Very carefully, she helped Janet to sit up slightly, and slid in underneath her, pulling her back onto her lap. She pulled the blanket back over Janet, and ran a hand through her auburn locks. "How're you feeling?" she asked.

"Good," Janet said. "These drugs are great. Feel like I'm on a cloud," she reached out and took Sam's hand. "I love you," she said.

"I love you too, Jan," Sam said. "Thank God you're gonna be okay. We'll go home soon, huh? Unless you think you should stay here for a night?"

"Home," Janet said. "Please."

"We'll go to my place, it's closer, okay baby?" Sam asked.

"And you've got a bigger bed," Janet's voice sounded amused.

"Yeah," Sam smiled.

Half an hour later, Janet nudged Sam. "I think we'd better go," she said. "Before we get too comfortable."

"Whatever you want, Jan," Sam told her. "Wait here, I'll go get the car warmed up."

"Don't bother," Janet said. "Wanna stay with you. We'll go together."

"Are you sure?" Sam asked.

"Totally," Janet told her. "I don't want to be apart from you right now. Sharon'll get your purse from the locker room, then we can go, huh?"

"Okay, sweetie," Sam said.

O'Neill watched as his 2IC helped her friend to the car, and a sudden realization hit him. "So that's 'us' then, huh, Carter?" he said softly to himself as he watched Sam's arm sliding tenderly around the wounded doctor. "I would never have guessed. Well the doc's a lucky woman," he mused.

"How does that feel?" Sam asked Janet, as she tucked her into bed.

"Empty," Janet said.

"Huh?" Sam was confused.

"The bed," Janet was almost asleep. "Too empty. Hold me Sam, please."

Sam didn't need to be asked twice. She kicked off her shoes and climbed in next to Janet, being very careful not to jar her injured arm. Very carefully, Sam pulled Janet into her lap. "You were so brave," Sam whispered, running her hand through Janet's soft hair. "Try and sleep for a while. I'll call for take-out later. Just relax, baby, you're safe now," Sam felt Janet's breathing even out and within minutes she was asleep.

"Shit, the bruising's really come out," Sam told Janet the next morning as she helped her out of her nightshirt and saw the deep purple and red bruise that extended down half of Janet's arm and even part of her torso.

"I'm okay," Janet was sounding much stronger than the previous evening. "Another few days, you won't know I was ever hurt," she smiled. "I think you're gonna have to help me dress," she winced. "I'll never get my dress buttons done up."

"Oh no," Sam told her. "You're not going in today. General Hammond said you don't need to be back until after the weekend, and then only if you feel up to it."

Janet shook her head firmly. "I need to be there, Sam," she said. "We've gotta do the clean-up. Nobody else knows what tests we need to do on all the larvae, I need to check Daniel over thoroughly, I need to take another look at the colonel to make sure he's okay, that there's no lasting damage from nearly becoming a jaffa. There's too much to do, Sam. And I want to be there. I don't want anybody thinking I can't do my job." She looked pleadingly at Sam.

Sam could see that Janet was serious. "Okay," she compromised. "We'll go in, but only if you let me help you. You'll need another pair of hands to take samples anyway. And you are not staying late."

"Deal," Janet said. "Actually, I need to go back to my place at some stage, check the mail, pick up some clothes, water the plants, that sort of thing. So how about we go in, I do the really urgent stuff, then early afternoon I get somebody to give me a ride to my apartment, and you can swing by there after work and give me a ride back here?"

"Sounds like a plan," Sam leant forward and kissed Janet tenderly. "So long as you promise to tell me if you get too tired?"

"I swear," Janet smiled.

"Told ya I was okay, doc," O'Neill harrumphed as he did up his shirt again.

"I know colonel, but I have to check these things," Janet was firm. "I still need to see you every morning for the next week, just to make sure. No needles, I promise," she smiled.

O'Neill grinned.

"Those three should be marked for the centrifuge," Janet pointed to three test tubes, which Sam gathered up and labelled accordingly. "And that," Janet smiled wearily, "means we're done with the samples. Until the results come in tomorrow, that is." She leant back in her chair and rubbed the back of her neck.

"Tired?" Sam asked, moving behind her to massage her.

"A bit," Janet admitted. "Oh God that's good," she said, as Sam's strong hands worked at the tendons in her neck.

"You're all knots," Sam said gently. "You need to relax."

"I'm okay," Janet said. "C'mon," she turned in her chair to face Sam. "Let's get some lunch. Then I'll catch a ride home. And later," she grinned, "you can work out those knots for me, huh?"

Sam smiled. She wanted to take Janet in her arms and kiss her, but knew that she couldn't risk getting caught by the security cameras. "Okay," she said. "Will you try and catch a couple of hours' sleep this afternoon?" she asked.

Janet yawned. "Try and stop me," she grinned ruefully.

"This is real good of you Daniel," Janet said, as she settled into the passenger seat of Daniel's car.

"It's no problem at all," Daniel said. "I've got to get to the museum anyway, and your apartment is on the way."

Janet smiled. "Well, I really appreciate it," she said.

An unfamiliar ringing sounded in Sam's lab, and it took her a while to realize that it was coming from her jacket. She smiled, it was Janet's cellphone. She remembered seeing it on the kitchen counter that morning, and slipping it in her jacket pocket, meaning to give it to Janet. But then she was distracted by Janet's attempt to lift a heavy bag into the car and, after scolding her, forgot all about the 'phone.

She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled the 'phone out. "Janet Fraiser's 'phone," she replied.

"Janet Fraiser?" the male voice sounded agitated. "Is that you Janet?"

"This is Janet's 'phone. I'm afraid Janet's not here right now. Can I take a message?" Sam asked politely.

"I need to speak to Janet Richmond, I mean Fraiser, right away," the voice replied. "This is a matter of extreme urgency."

"I'm so sorry," Sam replied. "She's left for the day. She should be back at home in five minutes or so," she looked at her watch. "I can call her there, get her to give you a call back?"

"She's going home?" the voice said. "No, you have to stop her."

Sam's blood ran cold. "What is this?" she demanded. "Is Janet in any danger? You have to tell me, I may be able to help."

At that moment, O'Neill stuck his head round Sam's door. Sam urgently beckoned him in.

"I'm sorry," the voice said. "I'll be quick. My name is Jake Alliss. I know Janet from before. I'm an old colleague, as well as her husband's psychiatrist. I've been trying to get hold of Janet for nearly three days now. I finally managed to persuade her old CO to give me her cell number."

"What's so urgent?" Sam asked. "I'm a close friend of Janet's, if she's in danger, you really must tell me."

"It's her husband," Alliss said, "I'm worried that he might do something. He's been seeing me for nearly six months, but when I saw him Monday, he was so angry. He told me he was getting back with Janet, that he had plans to persuade her to come home. And then he went missing. I tried all of Tuesday to contact him, but he won't answer his cell. His work said he didn't turn up. I may be wrong, but I've been seeing him twice a week, and I'm concerned that I'm seeing no improvement in him. I'm worried that he might be dangerous."

"You think he's gone to her apartment?" Sam's voice was not much above a whisper.

"I may be wrong," Alliss said.

"But you may not be," Sam said. "We'll do what we can. Can I get you on this number if I need you?"

"Sure," Alliss said. "Good luck. And hurry."

O'Neill saw Sam's face as she hung up the 'phone. "Call Daniel," Sam barked. "We have to stop Janet going home."

"Daniel doesn't have a cell," O'Neill said. "I keep telling him to get one."

"What?" Sam started to panic. "We have to get there. Janet's in danger."

"Meet me in the parking garage," O'Neill was already running down the corridor. "I'll get Teal'c. Bring your gun."

Sam reached her car seconds before O'Neill and Teal'c. "I'll drive," she said shortly, "my car's faster."

"Thanks, Daniel," Janet gave him a warm smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, huh?"

"You need a ride tomorrow morning?" Daniel asked.

"No, that's okay," Janet said. "Sam said she'd swing by."

She waved as he drove away, and let herself into the apartment block. She was looking forward to crashing on the couch for a few hours until Sam came to take her home. She smiled; already she thought of Sam's apartment as her 'home'. Anywhere Sam was would be home to her, she realized.

She let herself into the apartment, and kicked off her shoes. She headed toward the bedroom, planning to get out of her starchy uniform and find something more comfortable to wear. She switched on the light, and started as she saw a man sitting quietly in the corner chair, a knife in his hands.

"You changed your name," David Richmond said in a low, dangerous voice. "Did you think you could hide from me?"


	6. Chapter 6

"Get out of the damned way!" Sam yelled at a slow-moving car in front of her. Expertly she maneuvered round it and sped along the highway.

"We're nearly there, Carter," O'Neill said in a calm voice. "It'll be okay."

"I hope you're right," Sam was thin-lipped with tension.

"So Dr Richmond," David deliberately stressed Janet's by-now unfamiliar former surname. "Home in the middle of the day, huh?" He stood up and advanced menacingly on Janet who was frozen to the spot in shock. "Got an assignation with your lover?" He pushed her roughly onto the bed.

Janet tried not to cry out in pain as her shoulder jarred painfully. She would not give him the satisfaction.

David leaned forward, holding the knife to Janet's throat. With his other hand, and paying no heed to the sling that Janet wore, he grabbed at her shirt and in one action, tore it roughly right down to her waistband. He pressed the knife more firmly against her neck. "No bra I see," he leered. "You always were a slut," his words slurred slightly and Janet realized he was drunk.

"I'm injured," Janet kept her voice quiet and level, while she racked her brains frantically for a way to get out of this situation. "I can't get my bra on."

He snorted with disgust.

"You likely didn't notice the injury," Janet knew her words were risky, "after all, you're very used to seeing me covered in bruises."

At that, David reared back in fury, and slapped Janet so hard in the face that she could feel the blood running down her cheek. Janet took advantage of his fury, and leapt up from the bed, kneeing him hard in the groin. He bellowed in pain, but still managed to grab Janet by the throat and force her backward, so that she was sitting on the bed again, gasping for breath. "You're gonna regret that," he panted. "I'm gonna show you what you've been missing. I hear you've got a new girlfriend now. I'll bet she can't give you what I can," he grabbed his crotch crudely.

"Move one more inch, and I swear I'll take you out of the game," Sam's voice was cold, as she pressed her gun into his neck. "Drop it," she said, referring to his knife. "DROP IT!" she screamed.

David dropped the knife immediately. "You don't understand," he said, "she's my wife. We're just having a bit of fun, aren't we sweetheart?" he wheedled at Janet.

Sam seized his arm, ramming it hard up his back, making him cry out in pain. She turned him and shoved him hard against the wall. "Like it rough, do you?" she yelled. She grabbed his hair, and slammed his head against the plaster wall. "Do you?" she shouted. "Want me to show you what rough really is?" she punched him hard in the back, bruising his kidneys, causing him to crumple in agony.

"Carter," O'Neill said in a low voice. "Teal'c, take over," and Teal'c reached over and firmly restrained David in his strong arms.

"It's okay, Carter," O'Neill said, pulling her back gently. "We got him. He's not gonna do anything now."

David turned and looked at Janet, who remained seated on the edge of the bed, her face white as a sheet, staring sightlessly at the wall. "Pathetic slut!" he spat as Teal'c pulled him to his feet.

At that, Sam whirled round. In a split second, she had broken his jaw with her left elbow, and felt the satisfying crunch of bone and cartilage as she slammed her right fist into his face, splitting her knuckle to the bone in the process.

O'Neill said nothing, just gently put his arms round her and restrained her as she tried to land another punch with her left hand.

David was almost unconscious with the pain, as Teal'c dragged him from the bedroom, showing little interest as David's head slammed against the doorway as they went.

"It's okay, Carter," O'Neill said again in a soft voice. "It's okay."

Sam slumped briefly, as the colonel held her up from behind. She straightened, and looked over at her lover on the bed. "Janet," she called, but there was no reply. "Sir?" she looked up at O'Neill, who nodded and released her.

Sam approached Janet carefully, not even feeling the pain in her own hand. She saw the livid bruising on her cheek. "It's okay, Janet," she said softly, kneeling on the floor in front of her. She put a hand on her knee. "It's over. He's hurt you for the last time," she whispered, reaching up and cupping Janet's face in soft hands. "I'm here, baby, you're safe now." She could feel Janet's skin cold and clammy to the touch. Janet had also started to shake.

Acting purely on instinct, Sam got to her feet, and stood between Janet's knees. She removed her own overshirt, and draped it gently round Janet's shoulders, protecting her modesty. She then pulled Janet into her arms, and was relieved when she felt her relax into her embrace, and wrap her uninjured arm round Sam's waist. "Get him out of here," Janet whispered, her voice barely audible.

"He's gone, baby," Sam whispered. "Teal'c's got him in the kitchen. The police are on their way. He'll be gone from the apartment real soon, Jan. He won't be back in here, I swear to you. The colonel's standing by the bedroom door, he'll keep us all safe."

"He's not going to get in here again," O'Neill confirmed. "If he tries, Teal'c will rip his head off. You're safe now doc. Let Carter look after you," he turned away, not wanting to intrude on the intimate scene in front of him.

Sam held Janet to her chest, and rubbed her back softly, dropping gentle kisses on the top of her head. Janet, finally realizing she was safe, started to weep with relief. "It's okay, honey," Sam whispered. "It's okay. I swear to you. It's over. He won't be back. It's just you and me now, baby. Everything's gonna be good from now on."

"I'm gonna wait outside," O'Neill said in a quiet voice, and exited the bedroom, standing by the door as promised.

Janet finally calmed, so Sam moved to sit next to her on the bed. She took Janet's hand, and looked deep into her eyes. "I love you Janet," she said. "So much. I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

Janet took a deep breath. "M'okay," she said, startled to find her own voice so weak. "Really, Sam, I'm okay. Thanks to you. I just want him gone," she gulped.

"He'll be gone real soon," Sam reassured her, and smiled slightly as she heard the sirens of the police cars. "Sounds to me like his escorts are just arriving."

"He was going to... he was going," Janet's face crumpled again.

Sam pulled her to her. "I know baby, he's an evil man. He didn't touch you, did he?"

Janet shook her head. "Not in that way," she said. "But he was going to. If you hadn't got here when you did..."

"Shh," Sam kissed her again. "Try not to think about that."

"I'm gonna have to talk to the police, huh?" Janet tried to pull herself together.

Sam cupped her cheek. "Only when you're ready," she said. "I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for."

"I should tell them what happened," Janet said.

At that moment, they heard a soft tap on the door. O'Neill stuck his head round. "The cops want to speak with you doc, are you up to it?" he asked. "I've told them you're not up to a long interview yet, but they say it's just a few questions. You can do the rest tomorrow. How about it?"

"Has he gone?" Janet asked.

"Yes," O'Neill said. "He's in the back of a squad car on his way to the precinct. You don't have anything to worry about."

"Okay," Janet's voice shook. "Just give me a few minutes."

"I'll stay with you," Sam said.

Janet shook her head. "No," she replied. "They'll want to see me alone. Anyway, I can do this. Help me get this on properly, huh?" she pulled at the shirt Sam had draped round her shoulders.

Very gently, Sam removed what was left of Janet's tattered shirt, and helped her into her own overshirt properly, taking particular care not to jar her shoulder as she guided her bad arm into the sleeve. She did up the buttons and smiled. "You look great," she said to Janet. "Here," she grabbed a fleece blanket from the closet, and draped it round Janet's shoulders. "I don't want you getting cold."

Janet smiled up at her. "You're so good to me," she whispered.

"You ready for this?" Sam asked her.

"Yeah," Janet said.

"I'll just be in the kitchen. Call me if you need me," Sam said.

"Thanks," Janet whispered.

"Be gentle with her," Sam instructed the female police detective.

The detective smiled kindly. "It's okay," she told her. "I've dealt with a lot of cases of assault. We'll make this as easy as we can on her."

O'Neill pointed to a chair. "Sit," he said to Sam, pushing her gently into the seat.

"Thank you Sir," Sam said. "For everything." She took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye. "I'll resign if you need me to Sir," she said. "I know the rules."

"Resign?" O'Neill was perplexed. "For hitting that weasel? I think you'll find that was in self-defense. Teal'c and I are both witnesses. Isn't that right, T?" he asked.

"Indeed," Teal'c intoned. "Captain Carter had no choice," Sam could have sworn she saw a small smile cross his face.

"No, Sir," Sam said. "Not that. I know that was wrong. But I'd do it again," she said fiercely. "Not that. Me and Janet."

"What about it?" O'Neill asked.

Sam shook her head impatiently. "Our relationship," she said. "We didn't want anybody to find out. Don't ask, don't tell, all that. I'm not leaving her," she said, with sudden vehemence. "I'd rather leave the SGC. The military. I don't care where I work, as long as I'm with her."

"Carter!" O'Neill's voice was sharp. "Just what in the hell are you talking about?"

Sam looked at him. Could he really be that dumb? "I'm with Janet," she said clearly. "We're together. I'm in love with Janet."

"Well I know _that_ Carter," O'Neill said. "I just don't get why you think I'd want you to resign."

Sam stared at him. "I don't want to make things difficult for you, Sir," she said. "I know what the regulations are."

"Did anybody ask?" O'Neill asked.

"No," Sam shook her head.

"Did you tell anybody in authority?" he pursued.

"No," Sam said again.

"Well that should keep the pen-pushing dweebs happy then," he finally smiled. "Carter, listen to me."

Sam looked up at him.

"How long have you been at the SGC?" he asked.

"Ten months," Sam replied.

"And how long have you been with the doc?" he asked.

"Six months. As of next week, Sir," Sam replied, unable to hide a smile at the thought.

"In the past six months, Carter, you have, almost single-handedly, liberated all the women on one planet. You have received two commendations. You have discovered a way to dial the 'gate manually, without a DHD. Hell, you saved us all by using lightning to power the 'gate to get us all back to the SGC when it looked like we were all doomed. You have consistently put the safety and wellbeing of your team ahead of your own needs. Your record is exemplary. And if," he smiled, "if being with the doc has affected the way you do your work, then I say bring it on!"

"You don't mind, Sir?" Sam's voice was querulous.

"Of course I don't mind!" he almost exploded. "All I want is my team to be happy. A happy team is a good team."

"What about General Hammond?" Sam asked. "I don't want to get you into trouble, Sir."

"I'll talk to him later," O'Neill said. "He'll have to be briefed about all this," he waved his hands around expressively. "But I'll be very surprised if he doesn't say what I just did. It's okay, Carter," he said, as Sam put her head in her hands, the emotion of the moment overwhelming her. He put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "The worst is over now," he said quietly. "Now," he said, in a more bracing tone, "lemme see your hand."

Sam looked at him, confused. O'Neill reached out and tenderly took her right hand. For the first time, Sam saw the livid bruising and blood covering her knuckles. "I didn't realize," she said, almost in a whisper.

"Pass me that towel, Teal'c," O'Neill instructed the large alien, who did as he was asked. Very gently, O'Neill cleaned the worst of the blood off Sam's hand. He then took a clean handkerchief from his own pocket, and tore it into strips. Carefully, he bound up Sam's hand, which had suddenly started to throb. "You should get that checked out," he said, "when we get to the mountain. You and the doc need to be looked at," he said. "Make sure you're both okay."

Sam nodded. "Thank you, Sir," she said again.

Several hours later, Sam led Janet to the large bed in her apartment. Very carefully, she helped her undress. She then helped her to put on one of her own brush cotton shirts, grinning ruefully as she did up the buttons. "It's kinda big on you baby, but you look real cute," Sam said. "Here," she held out a sleeping pill that Warner had given her to give to Janet. "Take this."

"Okay," Janet was suddenly drained. She took the tablet, swallowing it down with water from the glass that Sam proffered. "Come with me?" she begged.

"You try and stop me," Sam said, shucking off her own clothes and dragging on shorts and a t-shirt. She lay down next to Janet, and took her hand. "Are you okay Jan?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," Janet said. "I am. Truly Sam, I'm fine. What about you sweetie?" she asked, turning over Sam's bandaged hand in her own. "You were lucky you didn't break a bone," she said.

"I did," Sam said. "I broke a nose. It just wasn't my own."

Janet smiled. "And you broke his jaw in three places," she said. "My hero." Her expression darkened.

"What is it Jan?" Sam asked. "What are you thinking?"

"About my apartment. I never want to go back there," Janet admitted. "I don't think I can ever sleep there again."

Sam caressed Janet's soft cheek. "I know, baby," she said. "Of course you don't want to go back there. You don't have to. Stay here. Move in with me," she smiled at the thought of Janet being with her all the time.

"Really?" Janet asked.

"Really and truly," Sam said. "I can't think of anything better. Actually," a slow grin grew across her face, "I can. Let's sell both apartments, get a house together. With a yard. And then," she smiled widely, "we can get a dog! You do like dogs, right?"

"I love dogs," Janet said. "Big dogs. The bigger the better. Let's get a lurcher. They're so good-natured."

"We'll find a realtor on Saturday," Sam kissed Janet.

"Hold me?" Janet asked.

Sam gathered Janet carefully in her arms, and wrapped the quilt round them both. "It's all over now, honey," she whispered.

Janet burrowed into Sam's front, at last feeling safe. She knew that she would sleep well, secure in Sam's strong arms. "Love you," she said sleepily, as the sleeping tablet began to take hold.


	7. Chapter 7

"I can't believe it's ours," Janet said, as the realtor drove away, having handed her the keys to their new house. "It's perfect, honey."

Sam smiled. "It sure is," she said. "Just like you."

"You mean I'm spacious with big old beams then, huh?" Janet teased Sam.

"Well I was thinking more of the 'very attractive features' that were promised on the realtor's website," Sam grinned.

"Any features in particular that attracted you?" Janet asked in a sultry voice.

"There are a couple I just need to check," Sam's eyes twinkled. Without warning she lifted a squealing Janet effortlessly into her arms.

"Sam!" Janet protested. "What if the neighbors see?"

"Well then they'll see me carrying a beautiful woman over the threshold of our new home," Sam said, leaning down and kissing her tenderly.

Janet smiled. "Well they're gonna find out about us sooner or later," she said. "It might as well be sooner."

Sam carried her lover inside their new house.

A few weeks later, Janet and Sam went to the dog pound in search of a lurcher, as Janet insisted that that was what she wanted. Sam was disappointed to learn from the girl at the desk that they had no dogs of that breed available. She was just turning to leave, when she saw Janet kneeling down at one of the cages, talking softly to a tiny puppy, who was shivering and frightened in the corner of his cage. "He's not a lurcher, Jan," Sam said. "They don't have any right now. We'll come back in a few weeks."

Janet shook her head, and pointed to the grey dog in the cage. "It says here his name's Angus," she fingered the nameplate on the cage. "That's a great name for a dog, huh? Hey, Angus," she said in a soft tone, coaxing the shivering dog out of his corner. He ventured to the bars of the cage and tentatively licked Janet's finger.

Sam smiled at her lover. "Looks to me like you've fallen in love Jan," she said.

"Can we have him Sam?" Janet asked, her big brown eyes looking at her pleadingly. At exactly the same moment, Angus's big brown eyes looked pleadingly at Janet, Sam noticed with a smile.

"You really want him Jan?" Sam asked. Janet nodded enthusiastically. "He looks real cute to me," Sam said. "Hey, Angus," she said softly, crouching by Janet, pressing her own hand up against the bars, and smiling as the small dog licked her palm. "You wanna come live with us?"

Sam and Janet talked to the officials at the pound, and found that Angus could come home with them in two weeks after he'd completed his series of inoculations, and once they had made the necessary alterations to their house, in terms of securing the yard and making sure that the house itself was safe. "Thank you," Janet said to Sam in the car as they made their way back home.

"For what?" Sam asked.

"For letting me choose," Janet said.

Sam smiled. "He's a great choice, Jan," she said. "I think we're gonna be real happy with him."

"You sure you don't wanna come?" Sam's voice was quiet and gentle. She and Janet had spent the last two days in court, giving evidence and watching the rest of the trial. David had employed very expensive lawyers, and had tried everything he could to discredit their evidence. His defense had centered on the relationship between Janet and Sam, and he tried to get the judge to believe that Janet had gotten together with Sam before the marriage fell apart, even though there was a clear six months between the two events.

Fortunately, the evidence not only from Janet and Sam, but also that offered by Colonel O'Neill, Teal'c (or 'Murray Teague' as he was called for the purposes of the trial), Sharon, Cora and, vitally, David's psychiatrist Jeff Allison, had been compelling. More than that, and much to Janet's distress, Janet's former doctor gave evidence of her multitude of 'unexplained' injuries, as did the doctor who had treated Janet on the night of the miscarriage.

David was found guilty at the end of the second day of the trial, and instructed to return the next morning for sentencing. Sam wasn't surprised that Janet didn't want to go. "I can wait here with you, honey," Sam pulled her into a hug. "Colonel O'Neill will call, let us know how it went."

Janet looked Sam straight in the eye. "You want to go, don't you?" she asked directly.

Sam looked at her for a long moment before replying. "Truly?" she asked. Janet nodded. "Yeah," Sam said. "I want to see his face. I want him to know that I know, we know, that what he did was wrong. It was heinous. What he put you through," she swallowed as she tried to keep control of her emotions, "was the worst. So yeah, I'd like to see his face as they take him away. But I don't have to go, baby. I want to be here with you, take care of you, make sure you're okay. That's more important. Much more important. I know you don't want to go, Jan, and I understand that. So we won't go," she kissed Janet tenderly.

Janet responded to the kiss, and then took Sam's hands in hers. "You go, honey," she said softly. "You need closure just as much as I do. I'll be fine here. Anyway," she smiled, "I've got Angus to take care of me," she gestured to the puppy sleeping in the basket in the corner of the kitchen.

"Are you sure, Jan?" Sam asked. "I'll happily wait with you."

"You go," Janet said. "I'll be here, waiting for you."

"You're an extraordinary woman," Sam kissed her again.

Sam returned to the house nearly four hours later, and was greeted as she opened the door by Angus the puppy. He was still a little unsteady on his feet as he slithered along the wooden hallway, but he was clearly delighted to see her. "Hey boy," Sam smiled as she bent to pet him. "Didja miss me?" She picked him up, and carried him through to the kitchen, where Janet was half hidden by the refrigerator door as she rummaged inside. "Hey Jan," Sam called softly, as she placed the dog in his basket.

"You want green salad or potatoes with your steak?" Janet replied, her voice a little tense and clipped.

"I don't care," Sam replied. "Are you okay honey?" she approached the refrigerator and stood behind Janet.

"I'm fine, just trying to plan dinner," Janet still didn't turn. "And you're not helping," for the first time in their relationship, Janet sounded pissed with Sam.

"Jan...," Sam said in a quiet voice.

"Or we could have rice if you prefer?" Janet said, trying to keep her tone even. She was appalled with herself for snapping at Sam.

Firmly but gently, Sam placed one hand on Janet's back, and used the other to turn her round to face her. Sam was shocked to see the tension in her lover's face and saddened, though unsurprised, to see evidence that she had clearly been crying not too long before. "Jan," her voice was tender and loving. "It's over baby. He's in prison," she took both of Janet's hands in her own, and looked deep into her eyes. "He's never going to hurt you again," she said.

For almost a minute, Janet just looked into Sam's big blue eyes. She could see the compassion and the love in them, and her heart melted. "How long?" she asked eventually.

"Two years four months," Sam said, "with a recommendation that he serve at least half of that before he is even considered for parole. He'll also see a shrink twice a week, whether he wants to or not." Sam reached out with one hand and shut the refrigerator door. She guided Janet out of the kitchen and led her to the couch in the living room. "You are safe now Jan, truly you are. And we're gonna look after you," she patted the couch next to Janet and grinned as the small Angus managed to climb up next to her and rested his head on Janet's leg, looking up at her adoringly, "aren't we Angus?"

Janet reached out with one hand to stroke Angus. "We should take him to classes," she said, irrelevantly.

"Okay," Sam said, "we will. I'll look into it tomorrow. You want a drink?" she asked.

Janet shook her head.

"Is there anything I can get you?" Sam's tone was loving and kind.

"You," Janet whispered. "Just you."

"You've got me, Jan," Sam knelt at her feet, and took her hands in hers again.

"Will you make love to me?" Janet asked, her voice small and hesitant.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" Sam asked, realizing what a fragile state Janet was in, and not wanting to take advantage of her distress.

"Yeah," Janet said. "I want to think only of you from now on. During the day. At night. In bed. Only you. I want to banish him from my memories."

Sam pulled Janet into her arms and held her tightly. "Whatever you want, baby," she said in a soft voice.

"It's real nice, for once," Sam smiled over dinner a few weeks later. "Daniel has managed to persuade the inhabitants of PX8 987 that they aren't all going to die in a terrible apocalypse, it's just an eclipse during which they'll be able to see a black hole. He got me to explain all about it to them, and I really think they understood Jan. It's amazing. A whole planet was in fear, and now most of them realize it's just an astronomical phenomenon, and they'll be fine."

Sam was smiling widely, and Janet could tell that she was so happy to have alleviated the fears of the inhabitants of Hanka. Janet reached over and touched Sam's hand. "That's great, baby. I'm so pleased. Score one for science, huh?"

Sam grinned. "Yeah," she agreed. "Of course some of them still don't believe, but that's only to be expected. They'll realize soon enough. Daniel's so excited, he really feels he's done some good for once."

Janet smiled.

"We estimate about a thousand dead," Sam was pale as she responded to Janet's question. As it turned out, the devastation that had taken place on Hanka, and had also killed all of SG-7, was hardly less than an apocalypse. Janet had been summoned to the planet, together with a large medical team, and SG-1 were required to undergo a medical examination before proceeding with a recovery operation. Not that there were likely to be any survivors to recover, Sam thought glumly.

"Hello? Hello, it's okay. You can come out. Look, I know I must look pretty scary in the mask, but I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay," Sam tried to keep her voice light as she saw the young girl dart back into the bushes. As Teal'c was the only one among them not dressed in a biohazard suit, he approached the frightened child and persuaded her to come out. Sam couldn't begin to imagine what horrors this young girl had seen.

"It's okay. Don't worry, everything's going to be fine," Sam said to the girl once they had taken her back to the makeshift infirmary. "Can you hear me?" she asked. "You're very brave."

"This can't be," Janet said in a low voice from across the room.

Sam walked over to her, fear in her heart. "She's infected, isn't she?" she was so afraid of what Janet's answer would be.

Janet put a hand on her arm to reassure her. "No, honey, she's not," she said. "But there are traces of the element the Stargate is made of in her blood. It's possible that that is how she managed to resist the infection."

They brought the girl back to Earth, and it became immediately apparent that she had formed an instant attachment to Sam. Even through all the horrors of what she had witnessed, the death of her own family - though they didn't yet know any of the details as the child had not yet spoken - she craved stability and love, clinging desperately to Sam as the fear of being abandoned all over again remained very close to the surface. Sam was distraught, not knowing what she could do to help her. So she just did what she could. She stayed by her side as much as she could; on the rare occasion she had to be away, she made sure that either Janet, Daniel or Teal'c replaced her. And she always explained to the mute girl where she was going and just how long she would be gone.

"How are you holding up?" Janet asked her lover tenderly after two days had elapsed. Sam had come to her office briefly while Teal'c remained with the girl.

"I'm fine," Sam said, though the dark circles under her eyes gave lie to the statement. "She hardly sleeps, Jan. She gets the most awful nightmares. I can't imagine what she's been through. And she's so young. How old d'you reckon she is?" she asked.

"I'm not sure. Ten? Eleven at most," Janet replied.

"I wish I could help her," Sam tried to keep her voice even.

Janet took her hand. "You are helping her honey, more than you can ever know. Nothing will ever make what has happened better. Horrors like that can't be erased. But you're helping her to move forward. She trusts you to take care of her."

"They'll never let me adopt her," Sam said miserably. "Not if I'm gonna stay at the SGC. And," she snorted at the irony, "they'd never let me adopt her if I left the SGC, clearance and all that. I don't wanna turn her over to another family, Jan. She'll think she's been abandoned yet again."

Janet pulled Sam into a tight hug. "I have an idea," she said. "They may not let you adopt her. But they might let me. My job's much less dangerous than yours; I hardly even go offworld. Between us we can offer her a stable home life, even if you're away on missions from time to time. Then she can live with us, be our daughter. What do you think Sam?"

The look of hope in Sam's face made Janet realize just how serious she was about the young girl, and how much she loved her already. "I'll go talk to General Hammond," Janet said firmly.

"She what?" Janet's voice was icy with fear, as she sat outside the abandoned nuclear complex in the ambulance.

"She went down again," Daniel's voice crackled through the radio. "We don't know why yet..." Janet didn't hear the end of his sentence as she leapt out of the back of the ambulance and sprinted down the corridor of the complex. Within seconds she was by the elevator with O'Neill, Daniel and Teal'c.

"I'm sorry, Doc," O'Neill said. "She won't listen to me."

Janet thought she might pass out. "How can she do that?" she whispered eventually.

"Cassie woke up," Daniel said in a gentle voice.

"Oh God," Janet swayed on her feet, and was grateful when Teal'c put a steadying hand round her waist. "That poor child."

"Doc," O'Neill said. "I know it's playing dirty. But maybe you can talk to her? She'll listen to you." He motioned to the intercom on the wall.

Janet nodded, and took a step toward it, fully intending to say anything and everything to make Sam come back up. She pressed the button. "Sam?" she said tentatively. "Are you hearing me?"

After a few seconds, the intercom crackled. "Jan?" Sam's voice was so full of anguish Janet thought her heart would break to hear it. "I'm sorry, baby," Sam said. "It'll be okay. I swear it. I'm so sorry to do this to you, truly I am. But it'll be okay," she repeated, "we all will."

Sam was holding a terrified Cassandra in her arms, whispering reassurances into her ear. "We'll all be okay, Cassie," she said.

"Are we going to die?" Cassie asked.

"No," Sam said firmly. "We are not going to die," she prayed that she was right. Her heart and mind were split. If the bomb did go off, she could barely imagine the anguish that that would cause to Janet. But she just couldn't leave the child. And she really did believe too that they were both safe.

The intercom crackled again, and Sam heard Janet's voice. "I know how hard this is for you," Sam could tell Janet was only just holding it together. "But you must do what you need to do," Janet continued. "Just remember that I love you Sam. More now than ever before. And we'll be together for ever."

Janet stepped away from the intercom, almost blinded with tears. Teal'c took her in his strong arms, and held her as she wept.

Sam tightened her hold on Cassie. "We're okay," she whispered to the child. "We'll be okay."

"So how did you know, Carter?" O'Neill asked.

"It occurred to me that she first slipped into the coma when we brought her closer to the Stargate. As soon as we got her far enough away from the Stargate, she woke up. And I ... knew," Sam said. "I just knew."

"So how do you like your room?" Janet asked Cassie nervously as she showed her round the house.

"It's nice," Cassie replied, a little overwhelmed.

"It's a lot to take in," Janet said gently. "Come back down to the kitchen. Sam wants to introduce you to the other member of the family."

"Hey," Sam smiled, as Janet and Cassie entered the kitchen. She had the puppy Angus in her arms. "You remember when Uncle Jack told you every Earth kid should have a dog?" Sam asked with a twinkle in her eye.

Cassie nodded.

"Well this," Sam smiled. "This is a dog. His name's Angus. You wanna come meet him?"

Cassie nodded again.

"Why don't you sit down, and I'll put Angus in your lap, okay?"

"Okay," Cassie whispered.

Sam lowered the excited and wriggling puppy into Cassie's lap. He gave her one of his big, goofy grins, and started licking her hand enthusiastically.

"He likes you," Janet said.

Cassie smiled widely. "I like him too," she said. "Does he live here?"

"He sure does, honey," Janet replied, kneeling at her level. "Just like you do too, now. With me and Sam. Is that okay with you?"

Cassie nodded again. "Yeah," she said. "I like it here. And I love you and Sam. And Angus," she said with another small smile.

"It'll take a while to get used to everything," Sam said gently. "Some things are gonna be real hard for you, we know. And we know we can't replace your family, nobody could. But we would really like it if you became part of our family now."

Cassie nodded once more. "That'd be good," she said, quietly.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Sam asked Janet. For the third night in a row, Cassandra had woken screaming from a terrible nightmare. She had eventually calmed, and finally fallen asleep in Sam's arms.

"I think so," Janet's voice was small and sad. "It's so hard to watch her go through all that, huh? All we can do is love her," she said.

"Kiss me?" Sam asked.

Janet took her face in both hands, and kissed her tenderly. "I love you Sam," she said softly. "We'll all be okay. We'll make her happy. Our daughter."

"Our daughter," Sam repeated. "We'll take real good care of her."


	8. Chapter 8

"What's a birthday?" Cassie asked in response to Sam's question.

"A birthday?" Sam was surprised she didn't know. "Well, a birthday is a celebration of the day you were born. Every year, on that day, you celebrate. People give you cards, and gifts, and make a fuss of you. Didn't you celebrate your birthday on Hanka?"

Cassie shook her head. "No," she said. "We didn't do anything like that at all. We always had a celebration when it was time for the harvest, but that was everybody. We never celebrated birth. Except when the baby arrives, then everyone is real happy." Cassie looked sad as she remembered how things were on her home planet.

Sam smiled gently. "I'll bet everybody was real happy when you were born," she said. "I'm sorry, Cass, I didn't mean to make you sad."

"That's okay," Cassie said. "Sometimes it's nice to remember."

"That's good, honey," Sam gave her a warm hug.

"We're gonna have to put something on this form," Sam said, as she peered gloomily at the huge sheaf of paperwork in front of her. "She doesn't know when her birthday is and, even if she did, the Hankan calendar is so different to Earth's. Each month is 42 days long, and there are 14 months in a year. But we have to put something if the Air Force are gonna be able to get us the right papers for her."

"She said she was coming up to her eighth summer, right?" Janet could see that Sam was worried about their daughter.

"Yeah," Sam said.

"So how old would that make her in Earth years?" Janet asked. "You're the one that's good with numbers," she smiled.

"Around 11," Sam said.

"Well I have an idea," Janet suggested. "Let's have an eleventh birthday party for her soon. Let's get the guys over, and Sharon and Cora and the kids. And General Hammond might bring his granddaughters Tessa and Kayla. Cassie needs to socialize with Earth kids, so that she gets used to them. We could make it a real special day for her."

Sam brightened. "Do you think she'd like that?" she asked.

Janet smiled. "What kid doesn't like a birthday party?" she said. "Though we don't want to startle her, we should give her some warning."

Sam looked at the calendar on the wall. "How about the middle of next month?" she suggested. "July 12th? It falls on a Saturday. And the weather should be good, so maybe we could have a barbecue."

"That would please the colonel," Janet smiled again. "C'mon, let's go tell her together, huh?"

"That was a perfect day," Janet said as she lay in Sam's arms on the couch late in the evening of Cassie's birthday, Angus the dog snoozing happily on her front.

"It really was, wasn't it?" Sam agreed. "Did you see her face when we gave her the bike?" she asked.

Janet smiled fondly. The look of delight on their daughter's face was something she would never forget. "It was good to make her happy, wasn't it baby?" she said.

Sam hugged her as best as she could from behind. "Yeah," she said dreamily. "Poor Cass has had so much sadness in her life so far, it was real good just to see her having so much fun."

"Mikey thinks she's great too, huh?" Janet said. "I think he may have a bit of a crush."

Sam pretended to pout. "I thought _I_ was Mikey's crush," she stuck out her bottom lip comically. "Does that mean he doesn't love me any more?" she tried not to laugh.

"You'll always be his number one, Sam," Janet smiled in return. "Anybody who can fix his trains will always be up there!"

Sam laughed. "Just so long as I'm not being sidelined for a younger woman," she said with a grin. "Hey," she nudged Janet gently. "You know what would make this day even more perfect?"

"Nothing could," Janet replied firmly. "It's been wonderful. All day. And," she said, her voice hitching slightly at the memory, "Cassie called me 'Mom' earlier, did you hear her?"

"I sure did," Sam smiled. "That's who you are to her now, honey, you're her Mom. She loves you."

"She loves you too, baby," Janet turned in Sam's hold, wriggling so that she was facing her, taking care not to wake the sleeping Angus. She kissed Sam softly. "And she's not the only one," she kissed her again.

"You mean Mikey, huh?" Sam teased.

Janet let out a peal of laughter. "I was thinking of Angus actually," she joked.

"You didn't let me finish," Sam reminded her.

"Finish what?" Janet asked.

"Finish telling you how we could make this day even more perfect," Sam grinned.

"Well then, how could we... oh," Janet smiled broadly. "I think I know what you're thinking, Captain Carter. You're thinking maybe we could finish the day the same way we started it," she remembered back with a grin to their passionate love-making session at 5am that morning.

Sam grinned back. "Something like that," she said. "Maybe even better."

"Better?" Janet asked. "I think you'll find it doesn't get much better than this morning, baby," she ran her hand down Sam's cheek.

"Is that a challenge Dr Fraiser?" Sam asked, a distinct twinkle in her eye.

"Are you gonna take it on?" Janet replied, her eyes darkening with lust.

"Just you try and stop me," Sam's voice became husky.

"Well," Janet gasped hours later. "When you're right, you're right," she tried to calm her breathing.

Sam grinned widely, and kissed Janet thoroughly. "You should know never to argue with an astrophysicist," she said, her voice equally ragged.

"I love you Sam," Janet said, suddenly serious.

"Right back at ya," Sam said. "You've changed my life Jan. You and Cassie. Never leave me, huh?" she suddenly looked panicked at the thought.

"I'll always be here, Sam," Janet said. "For as long as the sun continues to rise. And even after that, I'll be with you. By your side. Loving you." She snuggled into Sam's side.

"How long will you be gone?" Janet knew her voice sounded whiny. She hated it when Sam went away, but this time it seemed worse. She realized her trepidation was partly due to the fact that this was the first overnight mission Sam had had to go on since Cassandra had come into their lives.

"Two nights, three maximum," Sam reassured her. "According to our data, P4A-771 is inhabited, and there's evidence of some high-level technology. It's really just a meet-and-greet, should be fine."

"We'll miss you," Janet tried to pull herself together, as Cassandra entered their kitchen.

"Why will we miss her Mom?" Cassie asked. "Are you going somewhere Sam?" she looked concerned.

"It's nothing to worry about honey," Sam said in a reassuring tone. "We have a mission, is all. I'll be back by Wednesday, Thursday at the very latest. And we're taking you bowling on Friday, you've gotta know I'm gonna be here for that!" she grinned at Cassie. "I need you to help me beat your Mom, she's a demon at the bowling alley."

Cassie looked incredulous. "Mom is?" she asked. "But she's so little!"

"Watch what you say, young lady," Janet's tone was mock. "I may be small, but I'm deadly. Just ask Sam."

Sam smiled and nodded. "She's not kidding, Cass. I asked her to bowl with me against the guys when I was first getting to know her. I really just wanted an excuse to spend time with her. And she was amazing. I don't think the colonel thought women could bowl until he saw your Mom in action. He revised his opinion pretty fast."

Janet grinned. "See what a romantic Sam is?" she teased. "First date, she takes me to a bowling alley."

"It wasn't a date!" Sam protested. "The bowling was before I plucked up the courage to ask you on a date. I can be romantic when I want to be," she winked at Janet.

Janet swallowed and looked away, trying not to blush. "It's true, Cass," she said, "nobody is more romantic than Sam. Not in the ways that count."

"You be good for your Mom, huh, squirt?" Sam gave Cassie a big hug. For the time being, Cassie was coming into the mountain with them, and spent much of the day in Janet's office, painting and reading, while she got acclimatized to life on Earth. She would start school at the beginning of the next semester, so Sam and Janet were taking advantage of the weeks before to try and get her used to the way things were done on Earth.

"I will, Sam, I swear," Cassie said solemnly. "I'll miss you."

"I'll be home before you know it," Sam reassured her. She turned to Janet. "You be good too, Jan," she teased gently. "Cassie will tell me if you start inviting strange women into the house!"

Janet gave a small smile. "Do you really have to go?" she asked in a quiet voice.

Sam looked closely at her. "Is something wrong, baby?" she asked, concerned. "Don't you feel good? I could talk to the colonel about maybe missing this mission if you need me?"

Janet shook her head. "I'm being dumb," she said. "I'm just gonna miss you, that's all. I'm fine, honey, truly I am. We all are. Me, Cass, Angus. We'll be waiting for you when you get back."

Sam took her in her arms. "As long as you're sure," she said gently. "You know how much I love you, huh?" she asked. "All of you?" she looked pointedly at Cassie who smiled and nodded. She kissed Janet tenderly on the lips. "I'll see you in a couple of days," she said, as she left Janet's office.

"Daniel must've misdialed," a shaken Sam said to the colonel. Where the hell were they? This didn't look like the SGC, it was more like an ice planet. "We have supplies for three days, we can stretch that," she explained to the colonel. "I just need to find the DHD, get us out of here."

"We _are_ gonna get out of here, Captain," O'Neill said. "That's an order."

"Yes sir," Sam replied, trying to sound confident, and tamping down the fear that clawed at her heart.

"What in the hell do you mean?" Janet's voice was icy with fear. "How could you and Daniel be here if she and the colonel aren't?" She was relieved that Cassandra was in the commissary and wasn't there to hear bad news about Sam. "So where is she?" Janet demanded.

"I do not know, Dr Fraiser," Teal'c replied in a respectful tone. "But please be aware that we will do all that we can to locate both Captain Carter and Colonel O'Neill."

"Have they sent a probe?" Janet asked sharply.

"They are not able to do so," Teal'c explained. "The Stargate is inoperational. I believe Sergeant Siler is attending to it. He will carry out the repairs as quickly as possible."

Janet tried to keep control of her breathing, realizing that she was becoming light-headed. Teal'c guided her gently into a chair. "She can't be missing," Janet whispered. "She can't."

"We will do all in our power to ensure that Captain Carter is restored to you," Teal'c sounded calm and confident.

"Mommy!" Cassie screamed as she woke herself from a nightmare that night.

Janet ran into her bedroom, and put her arms round the sobbing child. "Shh," she said softly. "Shh, honey. You're okay now. It was a bad dream. It's all over now." Janet had reluctantly decided to take Cassie home that evening. Siler told her that it would be at least 14 hours until the Stargate was operational again and, though her every instinct screamed at her that she should be as near Sam as she possibly could be, she knew that it would be better for Cassie if they came back home. There was nothing they could do at the mountain. And they had all sworn to call her if there were any developments at all. So Janet reluctantly headed home with their daughter. She had been relieved when she went in to check on Cassie when she made her own way to be at 1am to see that the child was apparently sleeping peacefully. But now, at 3am, she had woken in fear. The poor girl had already lost two parents, Janet thought to herself; neither of them could bear it if she lost a third.

"I'm scared Mom. What if we never see her again?" Cassie asked.

"We can't think like that," Janet said. "We have to believe she's okay. We know that she's gonna do everything she possibly can to get back to us. And she's real smart, Cass, never forget that," Janet tried to reassure both her daughter and herself. "If anybody can do it, she can."

"It's only been two days," Daniel's voice was gentle. "Sam and Jack can take care of themselves, Janet. They're seasoned soldiers. She'll be fine, Janet. I'm sure of it."

"Antarctica?" Janet was incredulous. "They've been on Earth all this time?"

"That's what we think," Daniel told her.

"When do we leave?" Janet demanded. "I can be ready in ten minutes. Half hour if I need all the med kit."

"A truck is taking us to the airfield in half an hour. Full medical equipment will be available at McMurdo. They might even have located them by the time we get there," General Hammond told Janet. "They have a medical team on standby, but I told them we'd likely be taking our own doctor, is that right Dr Fraiser?"

"Damned straight it is," Janet's mouth was set in a firm line.

"Cassie, sweetie, I need you to stay with Sharon and Cora and the kids, just for a couple of days until I bring Sam back, okay?" Janet explained to her daughter.

"I understand Mom," Cassie said. "You should get ready. I'll see you both when you get back," she tried to keep her voice steady.

Janet could see how brave she was being. "You're amazing," she told Cassie, pulling her into a tight hug. "I'll call you, I swear. As soon as we find her and we know she's gonna be okay."

"I love you Mom," Cassie said. "Tell Sam I love her too."

"I will," Janet's voice cracked. "I will."

As she was lowered into the crevasse, Janet was terrified of what she would find. Sam and the colonel had been trapped for close on four days, and the temperature was well below freezing. She knew Sam was a trained officer, but the conditions were savage.

As the team set up bright flashlights, Janet caught a glimpse of something. She ran, skidding over the icy ground, and her heart leapt as she saw the unmistakeable shape of Sam and Jack O'Neill, huddled together. The colonel was mostly underneath Sam, and Janet could see that Sam was trying to shield him from the cold with her own body. Surely nobody could survive that? With great trepidation, she tore off her glove and pressed her hand to Sam's neck, almost flinching at the cold flesh. She felt a heartbeat! It was weak and slow, but unmistakably there. Then, miraculously, Sam's eyes fluttered open. "Dreaming?" Sam croaked.

"No baby," Janet said, running her hand gently down Sam's face. "It's not a dream. I'm here, we're all here. We're gonna get you out of here. You're both gonna be fine." She called for blankets and a stretcher, and supervised as Sam was carefully swaddled in warm blankets and lifted into the basket stretcher. A second doctor from McMurdo attended to O'Neill.

Janet immediately fitted an IV to Sam. Sam's eyes opened again. "Colonel...," her voice was barely audible, "he's bleeding internally," her eyes shut again as if in pain.

"We know, baby," Janet soothed. "Don't worry, he's going to be alright. And so are you sweetie, so are you."

In the event, it was almost a week before Janet judged it safe to transport Sam back to the SGC. Sam's core body temperature had fallen significantly further than the colonel's, due entirely to Sam's attempts to protect him, at the expense of her own safety. Janet kept her on warmed air for two days, as her temperature slowly began to rise. She slept for much of the time, and seemed very disoriented when she awoke.

"I'm sorry, honey," Janet explained to Cassie on the 'phone during her daily call. "I swear to you she's gonna be okay. But she's real tired right now, and a bit confused. I don't want to stress her any further by getting her to talk on the 'phone. She asked after you though, one of the first things she said. She loves you so much, Cass, we both do. Tomorrow she should be able to talk. Can you wait one more day?"

"Okay," Cassie said. "Tell her I love her, huh? And you too Mom. Angus and I are missing you both."

"Are you okay at Sharon and Cora's?" Janet asked.

"Yeah," Cassie said. "They've been real nice to me. And Mikey loves playing with Angus. We're okay Mom."

"I love you Cassie," Janet said. "You're very brave."

"That's what Sam said," Cassie was suddenly moved to tears.

"She was right," Janet replied.

"Hey," Janet smiled as Sam opened her eyes on the fifth day. "You're looking better," she said.

Sam grimaced. "I feel like shit," she said succinctly, her voice hoarse.

"I know, sweetie, we're doing what we can to make you feel better. You've had a real bad time Sam, but it's all over now," Janet kept her voice soft.

"The colonel?" Sam looked concerned.

"He's fine," Janet took her hand and interlaced her fingers with her own. "Doin' better than you, in fact. You took real good care of him, baby. He's in the next room, giving the nurses a hard time. He wanted to come in here, see how you're doing. Only the threat of the extra-large needles deterred him. And the promise that he could come see you tomorrow."

Sam's eyes filled with tears. "I couldn't get him out of there," she whispered. "And then... I gave up. I'm so sorry, Jan. I gave up."

Janet brought Sam's fingers to her lips and kissed them softly. "You did get him out, honey. If it hadn't been for you, they would never have detected the tremor and worked out where you were. And you did all that you could, you really did. You've got the bruises to prove it too," Janet winced in sympathy at the memory of the terrible purpling marks all over Sam's body. "You were a true hero. The colonel says so himself."

"I'm no hero," Sam tried not to cry.

Janet kissed her softly on the lips. "You're _my_ hero," she said. "You always will be."


	9. Chapter 9

"I've run the tub for you honey," Janet told Sam as she came downstairs. "You go up, have a nice hot soak. I'll make dinner while Cass goes to Mrs Kominsky's to get Angus, okay Cass?"

Cassie nodded enthusiastically. "Okay Mom," she said agreeably. "What time do you need me back?" she knew that their neighbor Ella Kominsky would likely keep her talking for a while and, in truth, she enjoyed the tales that her elderly friend told. Somehow she seemed to understand instinctively that Cassie sometimes felt an 'outsider', and never asked her any difficult questions. Cassie felt comfortable with Mrs Kominsky.

"'bout half an hour?" Janet replied.

"Okay," Cassie said again. She was half way to the door when she turned and ran back into the room, giving Sam an impulsive hug. "It's real good to have you back, Sam," she said.

"It's good to be back, Cass," Sam said with feeling. "I missed you."

Cassie ran out of the door, and Sam turned to Janet. "I missed _you_ too," she said softly. She took Janet in her arms and kissed her tenderly.

Janet reached up and touched Sam's still-inflamed cheek. "I missed you too, sweetie," she said. She felt Sam shiver involuntarily. "You should get in the tub," she instructed. "The water's real hot. I know you're still feeling the cold, baby," she said. "It won't last much longer, I swear to you."

Sam kissed her again. "See you soon," she smiled as she headed toward the stairs.

It was nearly half an hour later that Sam descended the stairs. "Something smells good," she smiled as she entered the kitchen.

"Chicken," Janet said. "It'll be ready in ten minutes. Come and sit down a while," she took her by the hand and pulled her into the living room.

Sam saw the roaring wood fire and smiled fondly at her lover. "You lit the fire," she said.

"I thought it would help to keep you warm," Janet said gently.

"But it's July!" Sam grinned. "The neighbors will think we've gone crazy."

Janet pushed her onto the big armchair just near the fire. "I think they already knew that," she smiled. She knelt at Sam's feet. "How are you doin' sweetheart?" she asked.

"Great," Sam said in a loving voice.

"Warm enough?" Janet asked.

"Yeah," Sam shifted in the chair. "I'll be even warmer if you sit with me awhile," she smiled, pulling her firmly onto her lap. "Kiss me," she begged, running one hand through Janet's hair.

Sam and Janet broke apart at the sound of barking. Janet laughed, and rested her forehead against Sam's. "Family's back," she grinned.

"Hold that thought," Sam winked seductively. "I'm gonna show you later just how much I missed you."

"Were you two kissing _again_?" Cassie asked as she came in the room a few minutes later, preceded by a very excited Angus who jumped into Sam's lap and started licking her face frenziedly.

"Yeah," Sam replied happily. "We were."

Cassie grinned. "Cool," she said. "Angus missed you too Sam," she said, as the puppy continued to wriggle joyfully in Sam's lap, licking and nuzzling her.

"Ya think?" Sam laughed. "I missed you too, 'gus," she kissed his soft fur.

"What are 'concentrating camps'?" Cassie asked Sam as she tucked her into bed that evening.

Sam's face darkened. "Where did you hear that?" she asked Cassie.

"Mrs Kominsky," Cassie replied. "She says her husband Lionel was in one when he was a kid. Said that's why he was always so optimistic afterwards, it made him appreciate life more. Were they awful places Sam?"

Sam tucked a strand of hair behind her daughter's ear. "They were terrible," she said in a quiet voice. "They were the worst. Concentration camps, Cass, not concentrating. I didn't know that about Mr Kominsky."

"So what were they?" Cassie insisted.

Sam took a deep breath. "They were something we must never forget, and we must never allow anything like that to happen again," she said. "Remember your history lessons with Daniel?"

Cassie nodded.

"Well during the Second World War, a very bad man was in charge of Germany in Europe," Sam spoke haltingly, wondering how to tell her daughter of the horrors of Auschwitz, Belsen and the like.

"Adolf Hitler?" Cassie said.

"That's right, honey, you've been listening well," Sam smiled. "He was a terrible person. He was scared of the Jews, and wanted to try and get rid of them altogether. So he tried to send every one to the concentration camps."

"To kill them?" Cassie sounded horrified.

"Ostensibly, no," Sam spoke carefully. "But in reality yes, Cass, an awful lot of people died there. Some from overwork, starvation, sickness. And some... a lot...," she swallowed, "were put to death in chambers filled with gas."

Cassandra paled. "Hitler sounds like Nirr'ti," she said.

"He was, honey. Just like her. Millions of Jews died. And not just Jews either, other people who Hitler didn't feel should be allowed to live. Handicapped people. People with mental illnesses. Gays. But mostly Jews."

"He died, right?" Cassie asked. "Hitler?"

"He did, Cass. He killed himself when he realized he wasn't going to win the war. He was a sick man really, honey. But he was powerful too."

"Mrs Kominsky says that her husband was 17 when he got out of the camp," Cassie said. "And that he decided he wasn't going to let it ruin his life. So he came to America, and that's when he met her, when he was 19 and she was 18. They had been together for over fifty years when he died. That's amazing, isn't it Sam?"

Sam nodded, tears threatening to spill over, as she contemplated the bravery of her daughter. "It is, Cass. It just shows that whatever we see, however terrible it is, we can still try and get our lives back, and enjoy ourselves. Like Mr Kominsky; he enjoyed himself, didn't he?"

"Yeah," Cassie smiled. "Mrs Kominsky says he was real funny. He was always joking and being silly. Sam?" she asked, tentatively.

"Yeah sweetie?" Sam replied.

"Does Mrs Kominsky know about me?" Cassie asked.

"She knows we adopted you," Sam told her. "And that your family died. Why Cass? Did she say something?"

Cassie shook her head. "No," she said slowly, "it's not that. It just seemed to me that... maybe she told me about Mr Kominsky so's I'd know that things can get better after something awful happens. I think she wanted me to understand that I can still have fun."

Sam pulled her daughter into a tight hug. "She likely was, sweetie, and she's right. You've had to see things that nobody should ever have to see. You had to watch as your parents and Simeon died," Sam referred to Cassie's older brother. "Nobody should have to see that," she tried to stop her voice from cracking. "But we love you so much, Cass. Me and Janet. You mean as much to us as if one of us had given birth to you. We're gonna do everything to make sure that you have a great life, with lots of love, and friends, and laughter. Things do get better Cassie, truly they do."

Cassie reveled in the warmth of Sam's hug. "I know they do," her voice was muffled in Sam's front. "I'm real happy with you and Mom. I will always miss them, but I'm happy here."

"That's great," Sam pulled back so that she could look deep into Cassie's eyes. "We're always here, if you need anything, or if you're ever worried. Any time. You can wake us up if you need to. We're gonna protect you, I swear."

"You were a long time," Janet handed Sam a glass of wine as she descended the stairs. "Is everything okay?"

Sam took the glass and kissed Janet tenderly on the mouth. "I think so," she said. "That poor kid's been through so much," her eyes glittered with emotion. She took Janet's hand in her own. "She's sleeping now," she said in response to the unasked question she saw in Janet's face.

"Come, sit," Janet said gently, and guided Sam to the large cushions she had placed right in front of the fire. "Let me hold you," she encouraged Sam to lie on the cushions, so that her head was in Janet's lap, while Janet sat on the floor, leaning against the armchair. Janet ran her fingers lightly through Sam's hair. "You warm enough baby?" she asked in a quiet voice after a few minutes.

"Yeah," Sam replied. "S'great," she said, snaking one arm round Janet's waist. "I never thought I'd be warm again. "I thought I might never see you again," her grip on Janet tightened. "I've never been so happy as when I saw your face."

"Ditto," Janet replied.

Sobbing uncontrollably, Cassandra detached herself from O'Neill and flung her arms around Janet's neck.

"Cass?" Janet tried to keep her voice as gentle as possible. "What is it baby? Uncle Jack says you're real upset. Try and take deep breaths, Cass, slow and even. That's it," she said, rubbing her daughter's back reassuringly. "That's it. You're doin' good. Think you can tell me what's upset you? We'll fix it honey, I swear to you. There, that's good," she said as Cassie's breathing became less panicked. "Can I get a warm blanket here?" she called out quietly to an orderly. "Okay, sweetie, in your own time. Try and relax."

"You can't fix it," Cassie finally managed to gasp out.

"Just tell me sweetie," Janet's voice remained calm.

"She's a Goa'uld," Cassie whispered. "Sam. She's a Goa'uld."

Janet felt as though iced water had been tipped down her spine, and she could have sworn her heart stopped. "How d'you know that?" she asked, trying to sound calm.

"I could tell. And her eyes flashed. And she was mean. Sam's never mean, Mom, is she?" Cassie looked in her mother's face desperately.

"No, sweetie, you're right, she's never mean. It's okay," Janet looked urgently at O'Neill. "We'll fix it. We will. Whatever we have to do, we'll fix it. We'll get her back. Won't we Sir?" she asked, trying not to betray the desperation she felt.

"We will, Doc," O'Neill said. "Whatever it takes. Somehow we'll get her back."

"Oh God," Janet's voice was tiny. "The Goa'uld looks like it's dying and taking Sam with it. Try another milligram of epi. Then prepare for defib. Come on Sam. Come on baby, we need you. We all need you here. You have so much to live for," a single tear dripped unheeded down Janet's face and fell on Sam's cheek.

Sam's eyelids fluttered, and she forced them open. She tried to focus on the scene around her.

"You did it, Sam," O'Neill said, his relief betrayed in his rare use of Sam's first name. "You won."

"It wasn't me," Sam replied weakly. "The Goa'uld gave its life for me. It saved me," she was overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. Relief that she was at last free from the alien that had held her hostage. Relief to be alive. Overwhelming grief at the loss of the life that had lived within her for three days. Guilt for still being alive. Terror at the memory of what had until a few moments ago been a reality. Pain, emotional and physical from the attack by the Ashrak. Horror at the fear she had inflicted on their daughter. At what Janet had been suffering since she had been taken over. "Oh God," she whispered, as her head began to swim. She tried to sit up, reaching out to Janet. "Jan?" she cried, the room spinning faster and faster. "I..." her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

Janet caught her as she slumped back on the bed. Even in her unconscious state, Sam was shaking. "She's in shock," Janet barked. "Raise her feet. Warm blankets. Now!" her fear made her sharp with her staff. "Shh," Janet whispered, cradling Sam's head. "It's all over baby. It's okay. We're gonna take care of you."

Sam moaned and her eyelids flickered again. Janet reached out and took her hand. "Don't try and move, or speak. You're in shock, baby," she told her. "Just stay still, we'll take care of you."

"It's been nearly four days, Daniel," Janet's voice was desperate. She had been trying to convince herself that Sam was okay, but, after her first few words, Sam hadn't spoken a single word. Despite regaining consciousness, she just lay in her bed, seemingly in the grip of a terrible depression. She had gotten up a few times to use the bathroom, and only remembered to take sips of water when coaxed by Janet. She only slept for around 20 minutes at a time, and always seemed to wake agitated. Earlier that day, she had reached out in her sleep and taken Janet's hand, pulling it to her, seemingly comforted by it. For the first time she slept for just over an hour. But she still wouldn't talk, and wouldn't eat. The fever she had suffered for the first two days, and which Janet attributed to the reabsorption of the symbiote into her body, had finally dissipated. But the depression remained. Janet was starting to worry about the amount of weight she was losing, so she started her on IV nutrition.

"Mom said the Goa'uld left after it died," Cassie said to Daniel and O'Neill, as they all kept a vigil outside the traumatized captain's room.

"Well that's right," Daniel replied. "It died and her body's absorbing it. She's the same old Samantha Carter. Same person we've always known," he tried to reassure her.

"She's just a little sad right now," O'Neill said. "But I'll bet she cheers right up when she sees you," he smiled encouragingly.

Cassie was tentative as she entered Sam's room. Sam was huddled on her side, in a fetal position, as if to block out any visitors. Undaunted, Cassie climbed on the bed. She put a gentle hand on Sam's shoulder, and was reassured to feel the warmth through the infirmary gown. "Sam," she said. "It's me. You're going to be okay. We can all get better after something awful happens. Remember Mr Kominsky. We love you Sam. We need you. It's going to be okay."

Sam looked up at her daughter through a veil of tears. She couldn't believe she needed an eleven-year-old to remind her of what really mattered. "Okay," she whispered, taking Cassie's hand. "Okay, Cass. We'll all be okay."

Cassie smiled, and squeezed her hand gently. "We love you Sam," she said.

"I love you too," Sam said, her voice hoarse from lack of use. "So much. Where's your Mom?"

Janet stepped forward from behind. "I'm right here, Sam," she said.

"M'sorry," Sam whispered. "I love you Jan."

"I know," Janet leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you too Sam. It's okay. We're all okay," she said.

"All okay," Sam repeated, as her eyes closed.

"Sleep honey," Janet said. "We'll be here when you wake."


	10. Chapter 10

Ella Kominsky decided she liked the two women across the road almost as soon as they moved in. The day after she saw them arrive, the blonde one came out of the house to get something from the car and saw her in her front yard, struggling vainly with a mower that just would not start, however many times she tried to persuade it. The young woman had come over and introduced herself with a shy smile. "I'm good with engines," she had said. "Let me take a look."

Within 20 minutes, the mower was working more smoothly than it had in ten years, and the young blonde insisted on mowing the yard herself. "I like the smell of grass," she had said with a crooked smile, "I'll enjoy it. Let me just tell Janet where I am, she's likely wondering where I've disappeared to."

And so a friendship began. Mrs Kominsky came over to Sam and Janet's the next morning with a delicious home-baked cake, and welcomed them officially into the neighborhood. It was clear to her right from the start that Sam and Janet were more than just friends but were in a relationship. Unlike some of the neighbors, who had already started curtain-twitching, she wasn't in the least disconcerted by this. Over 50 years with her beloved Lionel had taught her that what mattered was love, and that it didn't signify who you loved or who loved you, just as long as there was love. He told her terrible tales of the camps, where innocent lives were destroyed, just because the inmates had a different religion, or sexuality, or because they were sick. He taught her to enjoy every moment of her life, and that everybody was equal, and deserved respect.

When Angus became part of the Carter-Fraiser household, Sam and Janet excitedly took him across the road to meet their elderly friend who was, as they had expected, delighted with the enthusiastic puppy. They hadn't expected her to offer to take care of him when they were away, or while they were at work. "Are you sure?" Janet had asked when Ella made the offer. "We don't want him to be a burden to you. He's quite a handful."

"I wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it," Ella had replied crisply. "Anyways, Lionel and I always had dogs. I was seriously considering getting another one after Banjo died last year, but I didn't think an old lady on her own would be much company for a dog. So a part-time dog would be perfect," she had smiled.

Ella knew that her new friends worked for the military, and that much of what they did was classified. So she was unsurprised when she got a 'phone call from Janet asking her to keep hold of Angus for a few days, while they dealt with a 'situation'. Ella happily agreed, but even she was startled when they brought home a young girl and, the next day, introduced her to her as "a good friend" who they "very much hoped would be staying". The child seemed very old-fashioned and shy, and a little bemused by her new home, so Ella did all she could to ensure that this new life was as unthreatening and welcoming for her as possible. She could tell that the girl, Cassandra, had endured a terrible trauma, though she knew not to ask what that entailed. If Cassie wanted to tell her later, she was ready and willing to listen.

Sam knocked on Ella Kominsky's front door and waited for her friend to answer the door. "Hey Mrs K," she smiled as the door opened. "Cassie and I have come for a visit, is that okay?"

"I really do think you should be calling me Ella by now," the older lady said with a warm smile. "After all, we're nearly family now, aren't we?"

"Actually," Sam said, "that's one of the reasons we came over, isn't it Cass?"

Cassie nodded, suddenly overcome by shyness.

"Well come sit down," Ella said. "What can I get you to drink?" she asked.

Sam shook her head. "We're good," she said. "But we've been talking, Cassie, Janet and I, and we wanted to ask you something. Well, two things in fact, but the first one is the big question."

Ella cocked her head and smiled. "Well spit it out!" she said. "I'm intrigued now!"

Sam grinned. "It's like this. Cassie has just started at school, haven't you, Cass?"

Cassie nodded again.

"And she keeps hearing from the other kids about their grandparents. And my mom died when I was fifteen and, to be quite honest with you, I don't have all that much contact with my Dad. And Janet's parents are... well, she has no contact with them either," Sam swallowed, wondering how to phrase it.

"None at all," Sam added quietly. "She keeps trying, but they don't like her... lifestyle. So," she smiled again. "We were wondering if you'd care to be Cassie's Grandma? Cassie loves spending time with you, and we know you haven't got any kids or grandkids."

Ella looked over at Cassie, who had hardly ever spoken. "What do you think of the idea Cassie?" she asked gently. "Would you like me to be your Grandma?"

Cassie nodded once again, finally speaking. "I'd love it," she said shyly. "I think you'd be a great Grandma. And Angus loves you too."

Ella's kind, friendly face broke into a beaming smile. "I'd love to be your Grandma Cassandra," she said. "But you have to do one thing for me, okay?"

Cassie smiled widely. "Anything you want!" she replied, excitedly.

"Come over here and give me a big hug!" Ella said, and the young girl flew across the room and flung her arms round her friend. "There!" Ella said a few minutes later. "It's official. I'm your Grandma!" She looked over at Sam, who had tears of emotion in her eyes.

"Thank you," Sam said in a quiet voice. "That's wonderful, isn't it Cass?"

"Yes, it sure is," Cassie replied.

"What was the other thing you wanted to ask?" Ella asked Sam.

"Cassie'll ask," Sam grinned.

Cassie looked up. "We wanted to know if you would come over for dinner this evening," Cassie said. "Please... Grandma?"

"I'd love to," Ella said.

"We'll all be one, big happy family," Sam said. "Family is so much more than blood, isn't it?"

Ella reached across to the blonde, taking her hand and kissing her softly on the cheek. "You've made an old lady real happy," she said to her, earnestly. She looked at her closely. "It's good to see you looking so well, Samantha. You're fully recovered now, I hope?"

Sam nodded. She knew that Cassie had been worried about her, and would have spoken about it to Ella. "I am," she smiled. "It was rough for a while, but I'm all better now, thanks to Janet and Cassie," she put her arm round her daughter.

Just over a month later, Janet collected Cassie from a birthday party. "Hey sweetie," she said to their daughter as she climbed into the car. "Did you have a good time?" she asked.

"It was okay," Cassie replied, not looking directly at her.

"Just okay?" Janet asked. "Cass, honey, is something wrong?"

Cassie shook her head. "M'okay," she mumbled. "Is Sam back yet?" she changed the subject.

"Not yet, Cass," Janet said. "This evening, I hope." Sam had been in Washington for the past four days, and Janet was missing her desperately. She had been quite shocked to realize how much more she had come to depend on Sam's presence since the arrival of Cassie. Even though this wasn't a mission, and Sam would not be in any danger at all (apart from possibly terminal boredom; some of the meetings that had been set up were tedious in the extreme), Janet didn't sleep at all the first night that Sam was away. Cassie also missed her terribly too. Maybe that was the reason for her somber mood? Janet decided not to push Cassie, but just to be there to listen if she wanted to talk when she was ready. "Angus'll be pleased to see you," Janet said lightly to her daughter. "I swear he gets bored with just me around the place."

Cassie gave a small smile. "Angus loves you Mom," she said quietly. "You know you're his favorite of all of us."

It was true, since his adoption, Angus was happy to spend time with any of the family, but it was Janet in particular he adored, trailing round after her and climbing into her lap whenever he got the chance.

"I thought I'd made pot roast for Sam for tonight, what do you think Cass?" Janet asked. "Want to help me cook?" Usually Cassie loved working in the kitchen with her mother.

Cassie shook her head again. "I've got homework to finish," she said.

"Okay honey," Janet put a gentle hand on her arm. "You know I'm always here if ever you want to talk, huh?"

Cassie nodded.

So Janet was dicing and chopping and peeling when she heard the key turn in the front door. She saw Angus shoot out of his basket and run into the hall, where he greeted Sam excitedly.

"Whoa, boy," Janet heard Sam's much-missed voice, and had to swallow a lump in her throat. "Did'ja miss me?" Sam nuzzled in his neck.

"We all missed you baby," Janet's voice was soft.

Sam looked up from her crouched position on the floor to see Janet standing there, still wearing an apron, her hair mussed and her face flushed from the stove. She didn't think she had ever seen anything more beautiful. Sam stood up and took a step forward, catching Janet in her arms. She kissed her tenderly. "Oh God," Sam said. "You feel so good," she kissed her again, the kiss becoming more intense as she felt Janet respond.

Eventually Janet pulled back with a small laugh. "I look a mess," she said with a grin. "You're early, I was going to get all dressed up for you."

"You look perfect," Sam told her. "You've never looked better."

Inexplicably Janet's eyes filled with tears.

"Jan?" Sam was concerned. "What is it baby? What's wrong?"

"Nothin'," Janet sniffed. "Nothin' at all. I'm being dumb. It's just... it's just..."

"What is it honey?" Sam asked gently.

"It's just four days is too long," Janet admitted. "I know I'm being silly. It's just so good to see you."

Sam smiled. "Right back at ya Jan," she said. "Can you imagine how bored I've been, listening to paper pushers spouting on about budgets and timescales and predicted outcomes. Like the Stargate could ever be described as predictable. And all the time I could only think about you, about being with you. God I can't wait until tonight," she kissed Janet again. "Where's Cass?" she asked when they finally broke apart.

"She's upstairs," Janet's voice was a little gloomy. "I picked her up from Greta's birthday party earlier. She seems a bit sad, Sam, but she tells me she's okay. Maybe you can get her to talk?" at that moment, footsteps could be heard on the stairs.

"Sam!" Cassie cried as she saw her second mother in the hallway. "You're back!"

"I sure am Cass," Sam grinned. "C'm'ere," and she swept her up in a huge hug. "You know, I think you've grown," she smiled as she put her back on the ground. "I missed you Cass," she said.

"We missed you too, didn't we Mom?" Cassie replied. "I'm so pleased you're home."

"Me too, Cassie," Sam agreed. "I was real bored without you all. Yes, Angus," she grinned as the dog nuzzled at her leg, not wanting to be left out. "Even you."

"Hey Cass," Janet suggested. "Why don't you take Sam into the living room, make her a cup of coffee while I finish up in the kitchen. You can tell her all about what you've been doing the past few days."

"What a great idea," Sam said. "I haven't had a decent cup of coffee since I left."

"So what have you been up to, squirt?" Sam patted the seat next to her on the couch and was gratified when Cassie sat and snuggled into her.

"Not much," Cassie replied.

"Not much?" Sam asked. "That's not like you. You've usually got lots of stories to tell me when I get back from being away. Is everything okay Cass?" she peered anxiously into her daughter's eyes.

"I'm fine," Cassie replied, but telltale tears appeared in her eyes.

"Cass?" Sam looked at her and was disconcerted when the child's face crumpled and fat tears fell down her cheeks. "It's okay," Sam said gently. "Whatever it is. We'll fix it. We will. Or we'll find a way around it. You can tell me," she said softly. "You'll feel better if you do."

"I'm just being dumb," Cassie sniffed. "You'll think it's real stupid."

Sam shook her head. "I'll never think anything you say is stupid," she said firmly. "I want to help Cass, will you let me?"

Cassie looked up at her anxiously. "It's Susie Kendrick," she said miserably.

"Has she been mean to you again?" Sam asked, her heart sinking. Ever since starting at school, Cassie had been subjected to snide remarks and mean asides from Susie Kendrick, who was a renowned bully.

"She said I'm a freak, 'cos I can't swim," Cassie looked so miserable that Sam's heart broke for her. "Nobody swam on Hanka. The seas and lakes there are too dangerous. So I never learned to swim. And Greta was talking about having a swimming party next year, and I said I couldn't swim. So Susie started laughing at me," the tears fell freely down her face.

"Oh Cassie," Sam hugged her tightly. "I'm so sorry. I never even thought. Hey, it's okay," she kissed her on the top of her head. "We can teach you to swim, if you'd like to learn. Swimming's great fun in fact, isn't it Jan?" she looked up at her lover who had entered the room just moments before. "You'll love it."

"You sure will," Janet said, kneeling at her daughter's feet and putting a reassuring hand on her knee. "And Sam's a wonderful swimmer, she'll teach you all sorts of things."

"Will you Sam?" Cassie asked, doubt in her voice?

"Of course," Sam said. "I'll bet you that in two months you'll be swimming better than that Susie Kendrick. But Cass, I want you to promise me something?"

"What?" Cassie asked.

"Don't listen to Susie Kendrick. She's mean. You're not a freak, not in any way. I know you spent your first years on Hanka, so some of the things here are different, and you're having to get used to them. But you are doing a wonderful job, and all your other schoolfriends think you're just great. And if you do some things differently, so what? Not everybody should be the same. We should celebrate our differences. Just know that you're great, just as you are. We love you so much, don't we Jan? And so does your Grandma. And Angus," she smiled as she saw a grin on Cassie's face. "If anybody's a freak, it's Susie, if she needs to make herself feel better by being mean to other people. Just remember that you, Cassandra Fraiser, are wonderful just as you are, huh?"

Cassie nodded. "I love you Sam. And Mom," she said.

"You're so great with her," Janet said as they got undressed that night.

"So are you, honey," Sam kissed her softly. "She loves you so much."

"She loves both of us," Janet said. "We're so lucky, aren't we baby? Even if," she swallowed, "even if we never have any more kids. It's a real family, isn't it?"

"It's the best," Sam said reassuringly. She smiled. "So Dr Fraiser, are you ready for some intensive swimming training?"

Janet grinned in return. "I can't wait," she said. "You know that the sight of you in your bathing costume drives me wild," she pulled impatiently at Sam's shirt. "I've missed you so much," her breathing quickened.

"Oh yeah?" Sam grinned as she pulled the shirt over her head in one swift motion. "Care to show me just how much?"

Janet's mouth went dry.

David Richmond was many things, but he was not a stupid man. So he learned to 'play the game' in prison, to behave well, and most importantly to convince his gaolers that he was sorry for what he had done.

He watched the other prisoners at the group counseling sessions. Privately he couldn't bear it when some of them broke down in tears, repenting their crimes, swearing to make up for their misdemeanours. But soon he saw that those that said the right things stood a greater chance of early release. So, although he despised the behavior, he learned to pretend remorse for what he had done, to snivel pathetically along with the others, to attend endless sessions with gullible psychiatrists. Just to ensure that his release date would be brought forward.

And it looked like it was going to work. Within two months he would be free. He'd be on licence, admittedly, with a whole raft of restrictions. One of which was that he had to stay out of the state of Colorado. But, he told himself, once he had gotten out of prison, he would disappear from the 'system'. He would get a false identity. Most importantly of all, he would get to Colorado to get his wife back. He knew he would have to deal with the blonde bitch first. As always when he thought about her his hand unconsciously moved to his jaw which still gave him trouble. He would make sure she paid for that. And once she had been eliminated, he would work on getting Janet back. He knew she would be missing him. Her foray into the gay lifestyle would have palled by now, she would be desperate for a real man. And he could give her just what she needed. Yes, David Richmond thought, everything would work out real well.


	11. Chapter 11

"Damn," Janet set the phone back in its cradle.

"Problem?" Sam asked from her seat on the couch.

"Not really," Janet replied. "I've got to change my shift at work tomorrow is all. Warner's got to leave early, so I'm doing 1030hrs to 1830hrs. I wanted to get out early so's we could all go swimming again."

"I can still take Cass," Sam said. She was spending two weeks on R&D at the SGC while they all waited for a broken bone in Daniel's foot to heal, so she had much more predictable working hours.

"I know," Janet said miserably. "I just wanted to be there too. She's doing so well, isn't she hon?" she brightened at the thought.

Sam smiled widely. "She sure is!" she agreed enthusiastically. "I can't believe two weeks ago she couldn't swim at all."

"It's thanks to you," Janet told her. "You're amazing with her. She stopped being scared about two minutes after she got into the water with you."

"With _both_ of us," Sam reminded her. "You've been there all the time too. I'll miss you tomorrow, baby," she said.

"I'll miss you too," Janet said. "You know how much I love the sight of you in a bathing costume!" she grinned.

Sam grinned back. "You'll just have to wait until we get home. Maybe I'll give you a special show later in the bedroom?"

"How about a quick preview now?" Janet's voice became husky.

Wordlessly, Sam took her hand and led her to the stairs.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"It was incredible Mom!" Cassie shrieked as she ran into the kitchen the next evening, her hair still wet from the swimming. "I did two whole lengths of the pool, Sam didn't have to help me once. Sam says tomorrow she'll help me swim underwater. And after that she's gonna show me how to dive. It's real exciting. I love being in the water now." She hugged her mother excitedly. "Can I go tell Grandma how well it's going? She said she wanted to hear all about it."

Janet smiled and nodded. "Sure you can," she said. "Dinner'll be ready in 20 minutes," she called after her departing daughter.

"I'll be back by then!" Cassie called over her shoulder.

Sam smiled as she took in the sight of her lover. "Hey," she said softly, stepping forward and taking Janet in her arms. She kissed her tenderly. "I've missed you today," she said. "I've hardly seen you since this morning."

"Busy day," Janet said. "I've missed you too. And it sounds to me like I missed a fun time at the pool."

"She's a natural," Sam smiled. "And she really loves it too now, she's not just doing it to prove a point to that Susie Kendrick."

"Every kid should be able to swim," Janet said.

"Every dog too, huh, Gus?" Sam grinned as she leant down to pet their dog, thinking back to the previous weekend when he had escaped from his leash and plunged into a muddy pond as they were walking him.

"This is great," Cassie said, as she took another mouthful of dinner.

"How is your Grandma?" Sam asked.

"She's great, she's real excited about me learning to swim," Cassie replied. "Oh, I nearly forgot. She asked if you could go over sometime Sam, help her get something down from the attic. Said it's a bit heavy for her."

"Sure I can," Sam said. "I'll go after dinner, if that's okay Jan?"

"Of course it is," Janet replied. "You can go while Cass and I clean up, okay Cass?"

Cassie nodded, smiling.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Samantha!" Ella Kominsky beamed with pleasure at the sight of her friend. "You didn't have to come over tonight, I told Cassie there was no hurry."

Sam stepped forward into the hallway and kissed Ella on the cheek. "It's not a problem," she said. "Anyway," she grinned, "this way I don't have to do the dishes. I've left Cassie on duty with her mom!" She looked over at Ella, who looked more tense than usual. "What's wrong, Ella?" she asked. "Are you okay?"

Ella smiled. "I'm fine," she said. "Really. I've just been reminiscing."

"About Lionel?" Sam asked gently.

"About Lionel," Ella agreed. "We had such a good marriage. I'm so lucky to have married him. But sometimes I miss him."

"Of course you do," Sam said. She put a warm hand on Ella's arm. "It's okay to miss him," she said.

Ella smiled. "You're sweet," she said. "You and Janet. And darling Cassie too, of course. I do miss him. But I'm very fortunate to have found a new family, and you all mean the world to me."

"And you to us," Sam hugged her. "You've transformed Cassie's life. She loves having a grandma."

Ella brightened. "Well, that's why I wanted you to come over," she said. "There's something I want Cassie to have. But it's a bit heavy for me to lift these days. It's a wooden box," she explained. "Lionel made it. It's oak. He made it..." she hesitated and took a deep breath.

"Take your time," Sam said gently.

Ella smiled gratefully at her. "He made it for our child," she said in a quiet voice. "When I was pregnant." She saw Sam looking quizzically at her. "I lost the baby," she said. "When I was five months' pregnant. I never got pregnant again," she tried to hold her voice steady. "But I could never bring myself to let Lionel throw the box out. It's a kind of toy box. He spent weeks making it, carving patterns into the top, sanding it down, staining it. Making it perfect. But we never used it. I'd like Cassie to have it. Lionel would have loved Cassie. And I'm sure he's watching from ... somewhere. And he'd be real happy for her to have it. Do you think she'll want it?" Ella asked Sam.

Sam's eyes glistened with emotion. "She'll love it," her voice cracked. "Are you sure you want to give it away?"

Ella smiled. "I'm more than sure," she said. "It would give me such pleasure to see her using it. Lionel was always making things, usually from wood. He was a real craftsman. He made this," she gestured to the wooden rocking chair that took pride of place in her living room. "It took him months, he got such little free time from work. It was the best gift I ever had."

"You're a wonderful person," Sam said. "Cassie'll treasure it I know. I'm so sorry about the baby, Ella."

Ella looked up at her. "You never really get over it, you know," she said in a quiet voice. "Sure, you move on, but you never forget."

Sam nodded understandingly. She hesitated for a moment, but knew that Janet would want her to comfort their elderly friend. "Janet lost a baby too," she said softly. "When she was married. He was... he was a bad man. He hurt her, and she lost the baby. Lost her womb, too," she had never spoken to anyone else about Janet's loss and found it hard to put into words. "She knows how you feel."

Ella's eyes filled with tears. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I didn't know."

"She doesn't like to tell people," Sam said. "But I know she thinks about the baby. A lot. More so since we adopted Cass," she mused. She smiled wistfully. "But at least we have Cassie. We have a family. And one day I hope I'll have our babies. Janet is a wonderful mom."

Ella hugged Sam. "So are you, Samantha," she said, "so are you."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Did you see her face?" Janet asked Sam later that night.

"Whose?" Sam said. "Cassie or Ella? They were both thrilled, weren't they baby?" She took Janet's hand. "I told her about the baby," she said quietly. "I hope you don't mind. I just wanted her to know she wasn't alone. When she told me about her and Lionel's baby."

Janet kissed Sam softly. "I don't mind, hon," she said. "Ella's part of the family now. It's easier to talk about these days. Now that I have you. And Cassie. Now I'm so happy. Happier than I ever imagined," she kissed her again. "Even though I can't have babies, I can't imagine being happier than I am right this moment."

"You know I love you just as you are, don't you?" unwittingly Sam traced Janet's hysterectomy scar. "Every inch of you?" she shifted in the bed so that Janet was fully in her arms.

"You don't mind that I can't have babies?" Janet peered at her anxiously.

Sam looked at her, running her hand gently down Janet's soft cheek. "I'm sad that you can't," she admitted. "I'm sad for you. I'm sad that our kids won't have your beautiful eyes," she looked deep into the chocolate orbs. "But as long as I have you. And I know from Cassie that it doesn't matter about blood, not in the least. I couldn't love Cass any more if one of us had given birth to her."

Janet nodded. "You're right," she said. "Cassie's amazing. Anyway," she smiled, letting her fingers tangle in the hair at the base of Sam's neck. "Maybe one day you'll have babies. And then," she said, "they'll have your eyes. You don't know how stunning you are Sam. You'll have beautiful babies."

"We'll have them together, huh?" Sam said. "I'll need you with me every step of the way, Jan."

"I'll be there," Janet promised. "Every second."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"What in the hell do you mean, another two weeks?" David Richmond shouted down the phone. "You promised me Ernie. You said you'd have papers for me by today."

"It's not as easy as it sounds," Ernie said defensively. "It's not like I can put pressure on. These people are dangerous. We have to take it slowly. What's the rush, anyway?"

"I need to catch a 'plane. Hire a car. And I can't do that as me. You tell your contacts that I'll pay another grand if you can get the papers to me by next Friday. See if that has any effect."

"I'll do what I can," Ernie promised. "I'll call you."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"A swimming gala?" Ella sound surprised. "But you've barely been swimming for a month!"

"Nearly two months, Grandma," Cassie told her. "And I'm real good now. Just ask Sam. The school says I can compete at the gala. Will you come watch? It's next Saturday."

"Of course I'll come!" Ella said, "you just try and stop me! I'm so proud of you Cassandra. You've worked so hard."

"I just want to beat Susie Kendrick," Cassie grinned. "Show her I'm as good as she is."

"You're better than she is," Ella told her. "You don't need to make people feel bad to make yourself feel better."

"I love you Grandma," Cassie said as she left the house on her way to harangue Janet about taking her to the mall.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam sat stock still, her knuckles white as she gripped the seat. Janet saw the look on her face and smiled fondly. She prised one of Sam's hands from the seat, and held it tenderly. "She's gonna be fine, Sam," she said with a smile. "Look, she's smiling!" she waved at her daughter as she took her place in the line-up.

Sam smiled sheepishly. "I know," she said. "I just want her to do well."

"She'll be great, won't she Ella?" Janet turned to their friend on the other side of her, and was amused to see that she looked almost as serious as Sam.

"Yes!" Sam shouted with delight, as she stood up, her fist in a triumphant salute. She grabbed Janet and swung her round excitedly.

Janet laughed. "She came fifth," she reminded Sam. "Not first."

"Fifth out of twelve is amazing!" Sam declared. "Anyway," she gave an evil grin. "See that one there in the purple? That's Susie Kendrick. She came eighth. Our little girl beat Susie Kendrick. Eight-and-a-half weeks ago she couldn't swim at all. I'm so proud of her."

"You'll come too, won't you Ella?" Sam demanded, as she told Cassie and Janet that she was taking them out to dinner to celebrate Cassie's success. "Please?"

"I'd be delighted to come, Samantha," Ella said.

Cassie grinned with delight.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Three weeks later, Sam groaned as she rolled out of bed at the ungodly hour of 0500hrs. She had to be at the mountain at 0600hrs for a high-level briefing, and she found it harder than usual to leave her warm bed. Her throat felt scratchy and she had the beginnings of a headache. "Great," she thought to herself. "Gotta brief the new Chief of Staff on the Stargate, and I'm catching a cold."

She shuffled disconsolately to the bathroom, taking care not to wake Janet. Janet had only returned from the mountain at 1100hrs the night before, and wasn't expected back on base until 1200hrs, so she wanted to let her sleep as long as possible.

By 1120hrs, the intense briefing was over, and Sam escaped to the relative peace and quiet of her lab. Her head was pounding and she just wanted to curl up in bed. Preferably with Janet, she thought. She smiled weakly at the thought.

"Is something amusing you flygirl?" a voice called from the doorway.

Sam looked up to see Janet standing in the doorway, a wide grin on her face. She smiled back. "Yeah," she admitted. "I was thinking about you. In bed," she tried not to leer at her lover.

"Hold that thought," Janet said. "I finish at 2000hrs. By which time I trust you'll have warmed the bed for me?" she winked saucily. She looked more closely at Sam. "Hey, sweetie," she said, "are you okay? You look kinda pale."

Sam shook her head. "I'm fine," she said. "I think I may be catching a cold. Nothin' serious. I'm just missing you, I feel I've hardly seen you these past few days. Feel like I'm neglecting you."

Janet stepped forward and brushed the hair from Sam's eyes. "You never neglect me," she said in a soft tone. She put a hand to Sam's forehead. "You feel a little warm sweetie. I think I should take you to the infirmary, check you over."

Sam shook her head again. "I'm okay, really, just a sore throat. I've taken some Tylenol."

"Well you should be in bed," Janet said firmly. "Your briefing's over, right?"

"Yeah," Sam agreed.

"You go home then, put yourself to bed. I'll be back later to check on you," Janet was firm.

"No, really, I should finish these calculations," Sam motioned to her desk.

"You want me to make this official? Confine you to the infirmary?" Janet's voice had an edge to it.

Sam smiled, and put her hands up in surrender. "I'm going, I'm going," she said.

"Want me to find someone to give you a ride?" Janet asked.

"No," Sam said. "I'm fine, really I am. I can easily drive. I think I'll be feeling great after a couple of hours' rest. By the time you get back, Dr Fraiser," Sam grinned wickedly, "I'll be fully revitalized and all ready for you."

"I'll hold you to that," Janet's voice was sultry. She pulled Sam into a hug. "You take it easy, huh?" she said.

"I swear," Sam said, as she collected her jacket.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam's heart was light as she drove home. She felt lousy, but she knew it was temporary. She mused on the countless delights of living with Janet. Sometimes she wished Janet wouldn't fuss so much when she was sick, but a small part of her liked it that Janet noticed, and cared, about how she was feeling. And she wasn't too busy, a few hours in bed to get rid of the headache, and she'd be all ready for Janet when she came home. Cassie was staying the night with her friend Lottie, so they would have the house to themselves.

Sam got wearily out of the truck as the electronic door to the garage reclosed itself. She leant briefly against the truck, trying to decide whether to bother to take her gun out of the glove box, or to leave it until the next morning. She had better take it in the house and lock it away, she decided. Even though Cassie wasn't there, she still felt she should make the house, and garage, as safe as possible. Just as she put out her hand to open the door again, she felt an overwhelming pain in her ankle as she was struck from behind.

Sam hadn't realized that David Richmond had broken into their garage, and was waiting for her, or Janet, with an iron bar in his hand. As soon as he saw the tall blonde exit the truck, he lashed out wildly with the heavy bar, slamming against Sam's ankles with a vicious blow.

Sam felt her left ankle shatter, and screamed as she crumpled to the floor. She looked up to see what had happened, and saw the angry face of her lover's ex-husband as he loomed over her. "You broke my jaw, you bitch," he said icily. "Then you broke my nose." He kicked her hard in the ribs.

Sam screamed again as she felt her ribs crack. She panted with the agony of the dual blows, trying to keep control of her stomach as the pain overwhelmed her.

"Like it rough, do you?" he yelled at her. "You stole my Janet from me, you disgusting dyke. She was perfectly happy with me before you tempted her away."

Sam gritted her teeth against the pain. "She hated living with you," she said, her voice hoarse. "She left you months before we met. Before she moved here. You abused her. You're a monster."

David screamed with fury, and brought the iron bar down on Sam's leg again, this time shattering the bone in her lower leg.

Ella looked out of her kitchen window. She had seen Sam's truck returning to the house. "She'll come get you any moment now," she told Angus as he nuzzled at her legs. "You know she doesn't like to be without you in the house." She smiled at the affectionate creature.

Sam lay in a heap on the cold concrete floor, the pain of the last attack having tipped her into unconsciousness. David Richmond stood over her, yelling obscenities, seemingly unaware of her unconscious state. Finally he stopped, and slumped against the wall. "She'll come back to me," he whispered. "She'll come running back. Once you've gone. She needs me." He dragged Sam's limp body to the back of the truck. He lowered the tailgate, and unceremoniously hauled Sam up, slinging her carelessly onto the back of the truck. He felt in her pocket for the keys, and covered her loosely with a tarpaulin he found in the garage. "They'll never find you," he growled. "And then she'll come running back."

Ella looked up out of her window as she saw the garage door opening once more. Sam must have come home to pick up something, she decided, and was heading back. Only she turned the opposite way to usual, so clearly wasn't going back to work. She looked more closely. That wasn't Samantha at the wheel! It was a man she didn't recognize. He had a look of pure fury on his face. Ella's blood ran cold. "Stop!" she shouted, pointlessly. She ran to her back door and ran down the drive, a panicked Angus at her feet. She yelled after the truck, but to no avail. Angus shot off down the road like a bullet, barking furiously. Ella ran to Sam and Janet's house, and pounded on the door, but there was no reply.

Something had happened, Ella realized. Running back into her house, she grabbed the phone. "Put me through to Dr Fraiser," she demanded as the call was answered. "It's an emergency!"

"Fraiser," Janet answered the ringing phone.

"Janet?" Ella said. "Oh thank God. Janet, something's happened. I've just seen Sam come back to the house."

"I know," Janet said. "It's okay, Ella. She just had a cold. I sent her home to sleep."

"No," Ella said. "She came back, but ten minutes later her truck left again. It was headed for the highway. And some man was driving. He looked real pissed. And there's no answer at the house. Janet, I'm frightened he's taken her."

Janet felt sick.


	12. Chapter 12

Sam came to with a jolt, as the truck sped down the road. She cried out in agony as a white-hot pain lanced down her leg and ankle. She tried to work out where she was, and then it all came flooding back to her in a rush. She tried to sit up, but the pain from her shattered leg prevented her and she fell back again, panting desperately. She didn't know what Richmond had planned to do with her, but she knew it wouldn't be good.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Doc, try and stay calm. Tell me, slowly, what's happened," O'Neill put a reassuring hand on Janet's shoulder.

Janet took a deep breath. "He's taken her," she said, "drove off in her truck. She's not in the house. Must be in the truck with her. Neighbor called and told me." Janet had never felt so desperate.

"Okay," O'Neill tried to keep calm. "We'll fix it Janet. We'll find her. I swear. Nurse?" O'Neill looked over at Sharon, who had a steadying arm on Janet. "Can you take the doc to my truck in the parking lot? Bring her coat. You come too, she needs you. I'll meet you there in three minutes with Teal'c."

"Yes sir," Sharon replied, as O'Neill set off at a sprint down the corridor. "Janet?" she said gently. "You ready to go?"

Janet nodded. Sharon grabbed both their coats, and guided her traumatized boss toward the elevator which fortunately was there waiting. They stepped in, and Sharon pressed the button impatiently. It took 2.5 minutes for the elevator to reach the surface. Sharon put her arms round Janet and pulled her to her tightly. She kissed her on the top of her head, and rubbed her hand up and down Janet's back, to try and force some warmth into the trembling woman. "We'll do everything we can," she said in a quiet voice. "And Sam's a trained soldier. About the best there is. She won't let him win," she said gently.

Janet nodded in her friend's warm embrace. "I love her," she said in a whisper.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

The truck swerved off the highway, and headed down a bumpy track. Sam could feel every jolt and stone in the road jarring against her terrible injuries. They must be heading for the reservoir, she realized in horror. Was he going to try and drown her? She was hardly in a position to defend herself.

Finally, after what seemed like an age, the truck shuddered to a halt. Sam heard the tailgate being lowered, and felt the truck dip as David Richmond climbed into the back, and hauled the tarpaulin off of her. She screamed and lashed out, trying to knock him off balance. He fell back onto his backside, but was instantly on his feet again, yelling obscenities at her. Sam regretted her actions, as he grabbed her arm angrily, and dragged her bodily off the back of the truck. As she hit the ground like a sack, the pain in her leg overwhelmed her and, mercifully, she lost consciousness.

Richmond dragged Sam to the front of the truck, and lifted her into the driver's seat. "See," he growled, pointlessly, to the unconscious woman. "This way, if they ever find you, it'll look like suicide." He propped Sam up, so that she was leaning over the steering wheel. He then released the handbrake on the truck and stepped back, slamming the door shut. "Goodbye, bitch," he said angrily. He moved to the back of the truck, and pushed with all his might. The truck started moving slowly, but it gathered momentum, and by the time it reached the edge of the reservoir, it was going at speed.

The truck hit the water below with an almighty splash.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Janet!" Ella Kominsky came running out of her house as soon as she saw O'Neill's truck approach, Angus at her heels, barking wildly. She reached Janet just as the small woman flung herself out of the truck.

"Where did it go?" Janet demanded.

"End of the road, then it turned left," Ella said. "Angus ran after them, and he followed them to the left. They must have gone that way."

"What's on the left?" O'Neill asked Janet.

"The highway," Janet said miserably. "They could be anywhere."

O'Neill nodded; he was already dialing on his cell. "Daniel?" he barked when the archaeologist answered. "No, not yet. Listen, Daniel. I need you to contact the Highways Association. Tell them to we need to trace Carter's truck, urgently. Get them to check the cameras at each intersection. We need to know where they turned off. Doc, what's the license plate on Carter's truck?" he reeled off the digits to Daniel. "Call me as soon as you hear," he said. He turned to Janet, who looked like death warmed over. "We'll go look," he said. "Daniel will call as soon as he has any information." He looked down at the dog that stood loyally at Janet's feet. "Bring the dog," he instructed Janet.

Janet nodded. "We'll call you," she said to Ella. She bent down to pick up Angus, and within seconds they were speeding down the road.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

The truck started to sink, and the water rushed in by Sam's feet. It was freezing cold, and the shock of the temperature shocked Sam back into consciousness. She had never been in such pain. It took her a few seconds to realize where she was, and then panic struck her like a thunderbolt. He had really done it, he wanted her to drown in the filthy reservoir.

Trying to ignore the screaming agony in her leg, Sam tried to marshal her thoughts. She knew she would never get the truck's door open, not against the pressure of the water. Not until it had settled at the bottom of the deep reservoir, and she knew she didn't have that long. She pressed the button to lower the window, knowing that was her only chance of escape. It opened barely an inch, and then stuck. The water had gotten into the electrics. She tried the other window, which didn't move at all. She started to panic, as the water reached her waist. She would have to break the window. Smashing through toughened glass in her weakened state was nigh-on impossible without some sort of hammer. The gun! She remembered that it was in the glove box. She grabbed it from the box as the water reached her shoulders. Flinging the clip out of her way, she started to pound on the window. The damn thing wouldn't break. She continued to hit it with all her strength. Still nothing.

The water was up to her neck. Soon she wouldn't be able to breathe. She would die here, alone, frightened, in pain. This was it, she thought. She just wished she could see Janet one last time. Kiss her. Tell her she loved her. Janet! She couldn't leave her. She knew what her death would do to her lover. With all her might, she smashed once more against the glass, and was relieved to see a huge crack appear in the window. She pounded again, repeatedly, as the water closed over her head.

Finally, just as she thought her lungs would explode with lack of oxygen, the glass shattered into a million pieces. Desperately, she reached up, knowing that the pain of forcing her battered body through the small opening would be devastating. She was right, and as she hauled herself out of the seat, she couldn't stop herself screaming in agony. Her lungs filled with water. She could see the surface above her. She would never get there in time. She was going to drown, she was sure of it.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"What about Cassie?" Sharon asked Janet.

"Staying at a friend's tonight," Janet replied, her knuckles white as she sat tensely in the back seat with Sharon and Angus.

"That's good," Sharon said gently. "One less thing to worry about."

Janet nodded, miserably.

As she broke the surface, Sam desperately tried to haul oxygen into her lungs, coughing and retching hysterically. The pain in her ribs was agonizing as her chest convulsed, and this combined with the lancing agony of her leg. Red spots started to appear in front of her eyes. "No," she told herself viciously. She would not get this far and give up. She would get back to Janet. How, she didn't know. She tried to calm her breathing as she continued to cough violently. She saw the shore about 10 metres away. It felt like a mile to her. Slowly, trying to keep her leg as still as possible, she paddled to the water's edge. She nearly cried with relief when she finally felt rock against her hand. Somehow, using every last bit of strength she had, she managed to haul herself mostly ashore, pulling her battered body up on to the rock, her shattered leg at an awkward angle and still partly immersed. She gave herself up to unconsciousness.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"It's been over two hours," Janet said desperately to O'Neill. "There's no sign of her. Or the truck."

"I know," he said grimly. They had been driving up and down the highway, looking in vain for any sighting of Sam's truck. At that moment, his cellphone trilled. "Talk to me," he barked into it. "How can that be?" he asked a few seconds later. "No sign of the truck at all on the cameras?" he looked quizzically at Janet. "Doc, is there anywhere they could have gone before the first intersection?"

Janet paled. "Oh my God," she whispered. "Why didn't I think of it before? There's the old reservoir. They could maybe have gone there."

"Where is it?" O'Neill's tone was sharper than he intended. He was almost as desperate as Janet to get to Sam, who was one of his closest friends.

Janet gave him directions. Sharon reached over and took Janet's hand. "Sam hates it there," Janet said in a quiet voice. "Took Angus there once for a walk, said it creeped her out. It's kinda sinister. Dark. Weird. And the water's filthy. Oh my God, if he's..."

Sharon squeezed her fingers. "Don't anticipate," she said quietly. "You need to stay calm. Sam's gonna need you."

Janet nodded bravely. "She's the priority," she said.

O'Neill drove his truck up the track as fast as he dared, but as they got to the end of the track, his heart plummeted. There was no sign of the truck.

"We should still take a look," he said, "now that we're here."

Suddenly Angus started to bark frantically, clawing at the door to get out.

"He knows something," Janet said. She opened up the door, and the dog shot out, running at top speed to the water's edge. Janet was at his heels, running faster than she had ever done in her life. The dog disappeared from sight as he bounded down the steep rocks. Janet lowered herself carefully down to the water's edge and, in the distance, he saw Angus approach a pile of rags. A pile of rags with blonde hair, she realized. "Sam!" she screamed, trying to keep her balance as she darted from rock to rock to reach her lover.

Finally, after what seemed like an age, Janet was at Sam's side. The blonde was still unconscious, lying face down on the rock, dried blood in her hair and on her face. More horrifyingly, her leg stuck out at an unnatural angle. Her hands trembling, Janet reached gently and pressed her fingers to the pulse point in Sam's neck. She was alive. Janet realized she could hear her labored breathing too. She sounded horribly congested, but at least she was alive.

Janet stripped off her coat, and draped it lovingly over the injured woman. She looked up and saw Sharon clambering toward them over the rocks, Teal'c just behind her. She was relieved to see that Teal'c was carrying her medical bag. O'Neill stood at the top of the rocks, his cellphone to his ear.

"Ambulance!" she yelled, and saw O'Neill wave affirmatively at her.

"Chopper!" he called back. "Ten minutes."

She turned back to Sam, and ran her hand lovingly down her cheek. "You're safe now, baby," she whispered. "It's gonna be okay."

Sam's eyelids fluttered opened, and she fought to focus on the vision in front of her. "Jan," she croaked.

"It's me, honey. I'm here. We're gonna take care of you, Sam. Air ambulance is on its way. You'll be in the infirmary before you know it," Janet fought to keep her voice calm.

Sharon finally reached Janet, and opened her bag for her. "Morphine?" she asked Janet quietly, taking in the sight of Sam's shattered leg. Janet nodded, and Sharon drew up the syringe.

"Don't feel good," Sam gasped, trying vainly not to cough.

"I know, baby," Janet took the syringe from Sharon and plunged it into Sam's uninjured thigh. "We'll fix that, I swear."

Sharon took off her own jacket and balled it up, passing it to Janet, who gently pushed it under Sam's head. Teal'c lay his own coat over her. At that moment, O'Neill arrived, carrying a blanket that he always kept in the trunk of his truck. Janet nodded gratefully at him, and wrapped it round a shaking Sam. "Chopper's on its way," O'Neill said. "Be here any moment."

"Thank you," Janet said in a quiet voice, as she took Sam's hand and chafed it between her own. "Hear that sweetie? You'll be safe and warm real soon."

Sam opened her eyes again. "You came for me," she whispered hoarsely.

"Of course we did, my darling. We'll always come for you. I love you," Janet tried to keep the emotion from her voice.

"Love you," Sam's voice was weak.


	13. Chapter 13

"We should call Ella," Janet said, as she sat in the helicopter, holding Sam's clammy hand. "Tell her we found her."

"Is her number in your phone?" Sharon asked, as she reached into her friend's pocket.

Janet nodded.

"I'll call," Sharon said, as she flicked the phone open.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam whimpered with pain as she was transferred from the helicopter gurney to the infirmary bed.

"I know," Janet's voice was soothing, "I know sweetie. You'll be feeling better soon, I swear." She stroked Sam's cheek gently. "We're gonna take real good care of you. How long until he gets here?" Janet asked, referring to renowned orthopedic surgeon Dale Steadman who, it just happened, was lecturing at the Academy hospital that week.

"He'll be here in under an hour," General Hammond appeared from nowhere. "How is she doctor?" he motioned to Sam.

"She's alive," Janet's voice was grim. "But he made a real mess of her leg. And her lungs are badly congested. I've started her on antibiotics. I can't give her any more pain relief until the operation though."

"Is she in much pain?" Hammond asked, concern in his voice.

Janet nodded miserably. "Yeah," her voice was thick. "Pretty bad," she said. "But it won't be for much longer, honey," she addressed Sam, her hand tangling in her hair. "Soon you'll be feeling so much better."

Sam started to cough, jarring her cracked ribs. "Jan?" she gasped.

"Don't try to talk sweetie," Janet said gently, as she unhooked a nasal cannula and fitted it to Sam, rubbing her arm reassuringly. She was concerned by the wheezing and gurgling sounds she could hear in Sam's chest. "There, is that better?" she asked.

Sam nodded, her eyes shut in pain.

"I'll give you some privacy," Hammond said. "You call me if you need anything from me, right?"

"Yes, sir," Janet said. "She'll be fine. I'll make sure of it."

Sam's eyes remained shut, as she reached out blindly for Janet's hand, grasping it tight when she found it.

Janet settled herself at Sam's head and very gently raised her lover so that she was partly in her lap. She whispered soothingly to her as she ran her hand through Sam's hair and over her face. "It won't be long now, sweetheart," she promised. "Soon you'll get all the good drugs, I swear."

Sam had never known pain like it. She tried to remain as still as possible in Janet's loving embrace. She was so relieved to have made it back. She had genuinely thought she might never see Janet again. The pain was indescribable, but it paled into insignificance when she thought of what it would be like never to see Janet again. She felt Janet's hand in her hair, on her cheek, wiping the sweat off her brow. She found it hard to breathe, even with the supplemental oxygen from the nasal cannula. She could feel Janet's other hand in her own, and felt reassured. She knew that Janet would do whatever she could to take the pain away, as soon as she could. She knew she didn't need to panic. Janet would take care of her now.

"You're gonna have an operation," Janet said quietly to Sam. "Fix your leg right up. And then, my darling, I'll take care of you until you're all better. I'll stay with you, I won't leave you. You'll be fine, sweetie. This is the worst bit, and it's nearly over, huh?"

Sam started to cough again, squeezing Janet's hand desperately as waves of pain crashed over her.

"Shh, sweetie," Janet said, reaching up and pulling an oxygen mask over her face. "It's gonna be okay. Try and relax if you can," she kissed Sam softly on the forehead. Finally she felt Sam's breathing calm, and held her gently in her arms.

Twenty minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and Teal'c entered the room. "Dr Fraiser," he said, "the surgeon has arrived. He would like to speak with you."

Janet looked down at her lover in her arms. "Go," Sam's voice was faint.

"I will remain here, if Samantha will permit me," Teal'c said. Sam nodded weakly, her eyes remaining shut.

Very tenderly, Teal'c took Sam in his arms, being very careful not to jar any of her injuries. He took her hand in his larger one, and brought it to his lips, kissing it affectionately. "You will be well, Samantha," he said softly. "Soon you will be home with your family."

Sam murmured incoherently, and reached out with her other hand, grasping his shirt loosely.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Janet," Dale Steadman reached out and shook her hand. "I'm so sorry," he said. He was a colleague from way back, and knew about Janet's relationship with Sam. "We'll do everything we can," he motioned to his anesthetist.

Janet nodded miserably. "I'm worried about her breathing," she said. "Her lungs are very congested. And she's running a fever. She was sick even before this, said she was catching a cold. But that water's filthy, Dale."

Steadman nodded. "That's why I've brought Michael with me," he said. "We've had a lot of success with epidurals in the last year. That way, the patient only needs to be sedated. Don't worry," he saw the look of alarm on Janet's face. "She won't be aware at all. As far as she's concerned, she'll be unconscious throughout. It'll just be a much milder anesthetic, with the epidural doing the work. It's ideal for situations like this," he said reassuringly. "And it'll be much easier to monitor her breathing."

"Can I come in with her?" Janet's voice was small.

Steadman shook his head. "No, Janet, I don't think that would be a good idea." Seeing the look of devastation on Janet's face, he continued quickly. "I want to be able to concentrate on Sam," he explained. "I don't want to have to worry about your reaction to anything I do or say. You can stay with her until she's totally out, and then we'll call you before we wake her, so you'll be the first person she sees when she comes round, okay?"

Janet nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"You should try and get some rest while she's under," Steadman continued. "She's going to need you afterwards."

Janet nodded again.

"Janet?" Steadman said.

Janet looked up.

"We'll do our very best for her," he said gently. "I know what she means to you."

"Thank you, Dale," Janet put her hand on his arm. "I know you will."

"We'll be ready for her in 25 minutes," Steadman said. "We just need to get set up."

Janet returned to Sam's private room in the infirmary, and opened the door slowly, making sure that she wouldn't wake Sam if she was sleeping. She was relieved to see Sam, still asleep, nestled in Teal'c's strong arms. Teal'c moved to one side, ceding his position to Janet, who was careful not to jar her lover as she took her back into her arms. Sam shifted slightly in her sleep, but didn't waken.

Sam remained asleep until it was time to take her to the OR. She awoke as she was transferred to the gurney in the OR, and cried out in pain as she was moved across. Janet kept hold of her hand, and kissed it tenderly. "Shh," she said. "It's over now, baby. We're just gonna give you something to send you back to sleep. When you next wake up, the operation'll be all finished. And you'll be on the good drugs," she tried to smile encouragingly. "The pain'll be all gone." She saw the agonized look on Sam's face, and her heart broke. "Where's that anesthetist?" she demanded, more sharply than she had intended.

"Right here," Michael said mildly. "We're all ready. Okay, now, Sam," he said, taking her hand gently from Janet, who moved to Sam's head, maintaining contact with her lover, stroking her forehead lovingly. "Here it goes," he slid the needle under her skin. "That's it," he said. "Nearly there."

"That's it sweetheart," Janet tried to keep her voice calm. "There," she saw Sam fall into unconsciousness, "the worst is over." She kissed Sam very softly on the lips.

Sharon went over to Janet and put a warm hand on her arm. "We'll be in her office," she said to Steadman, who nodded agreement.

"We'll come get you when it's time to wake her," Steadman told Janet.

"It's been nearly five hours," Janet tried to keep the desperation out of her voice.

"There was a lot of damage," Sharon reminded her. "The leg and the ankle. He'll have to pin both. It'll take time to get it right."

"I know it," Janet said miserably. "I just can't bear this. Her in there. Me here. I should be taking care of her."

"And you have been," Sharon put her hand on Janet's shoulder. "The best way that you can. And now you have to let the specialists deal with it. You want her to get the best treatment. She'll be out soon. And then she's really going to need you."

"She's real sick," Janet said to Sharon. "I'm worried about her lungs. And the fever. She's on huge doses of antibiotics, but she doesn't respond as well as she should to them any more. Not since Jolinar. She has to be okay, Sharon. She has to be."

"And she will," Sharon's words were soft and kind. "She has you to take care of her. You're her whole world, you know that, don't you Janet?"

Janet sat in glum silence.

"She told me that," Sharon continued. "Told me that she felt like the luckiest woman in the world."

Janet shook her head. "No," she said quietly. "I'm the lucky one," she said. "I never thought I would get my life back. After David. But then I met her. Suddenly everything was okay again. Even the bad things. I found I could think about them, and it was still okay. But now," a fat tear spilled from her eye, "now that bastard has done this. To her. How could he?" she was sobbing now. "She's the sweetest, gentlest person."

"He's a shit," Sharon said succinctly. "A total shit. He won't get away with it. Colonel O'Neill will track him down, make him pay. And Sam will be okay. It may take time," she said. "But, with you at her side, she's gonna be fine real soon."

Janet nodded, and wiped her face with the handkerchief that Sharon proffered.

There was a tap on the door, and Steadman opened it and stepped into Janet's office. Janet looked up at him, fear in her heart.

Steadman smiled. "She's okay," he said. "It was a good operation. I've pinned the ankle in three places, and the leg in two. It's going to be a long recovery. But she'll walk again. How fast, only time will tell. But she won't lose the leg."

Janet started to cry again, as Sharon put a reassuring arm round her shoulder.

"But she's still real sick," Steadman continued. "Her fever has risen slightly, it's 101.8. And her breathing's difficult."

"Has she woken?" Janet's voice sounded tinny to her, as if she were in a different room.

"No, I'm coming to get you so you can be with her when she does," he said. "But the anesthetic worked well, she's only sedated right now. She won't feel her legs for a while, but that can only be a good thing. She has a lot of healing to do."

Janet was already out of the door, striding toward the recovery room.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Hey," Janet whispered softly, as she cupped Sam's warm cheek. "Time to open those baby blues, Sam," she kept her voice calm and soothing. She was concerned by the sound of Sam's breathing, and wanted to do everything to keep her lover calm and relaxed.

Sam whimpered as she unconsciously leaned into Janet's cool touch.

"That's it, baby," Janet said. "You're doing well. The worst bit's over. You're gonna be fine, my darling. We just need to get your fever down," she ran a cool washcloth over Sam's face. "And you'll feel so much better."

Sam's eyes opened, and she tried to focus on the shapes in front of her. She blinked, trying to force her eyes to work properly. "Jan?" her voice was barely audible.

"I'm here, Sam," Janet took her hand. "And I'm gonna stay right by your side."

Sam started, and tried to sit up, wrenching her cracked ribs as she did so.

Janet put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Don't try and move sweetie," she said. "Not yet."

Sam's eyes were fearful as she pulled at Janet's hand. "No," she croaked. "Not safe. You. Cass. Ella. He's gonna come back," and she succumbed to a fit of coughing.

Janet pulled the oxygen mask back over her face. "Please try not to talk," she pleaded with her, as she held her in her arms. "We're safe. All of us. The colonel has made sure of that. Ella's been picked up, she's here at the mountain. The colonel went over and picked Cassie up. He's taking her for ice cream, and he's gonna tell her what happened. And then she's coming back here. We're all going to stay here until they catch him. They'll watch out for us. Nobody's gonna get in here."

Sam's face crumpled and she started to cry. "So sorry," she whispered hoarsely.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," Janet said quietly. "None of this is your fault Sam. Now try and sleep, honey. I'll be right here, I swear. I won't leave you. We just need you to get well."

As Sam fell into a fitful sleep, Janet checked her temperature. 102.4. It was still rising. Janet took a cool cloth and started to sponge her down. She spoke softly to her lover as she did so, trying to calm her, reassure her that they would all be alright. "It's okay, baby," she whispered, kissing her softly on the lips. "You're gonna be okay. We all are. It's over now." She raised the bed to ease Sam's labored breathing, and was relieved when it appeared to become marginally easier.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Cassie was crying. "Is Sam going to be okay?" tears ran unchecked down her cheeks as she sat opposite her Uncle Jack.

"Yes," he said firmly. "She's got a long way to go, but she will be okay. She has your mom taking care of her. And she's real strong, Cass, never forget that."

"What will happen to him?" Cassie asked. "The mean man."

O'Neill had not explained to Cassie that the 'mean man' was Janet's ex-husband. That was something that should come from her mom, he realized. He looked Cassie straight in the eye. "We're gonna find him Cass. And he's gonna regret what he did," he said.

"Will you hurt him?" Cassie asked.

"I'll do what I have to," O'Neill replied gently. "Try not to worry, Cassie. He won't ever do anything like that again."

"Good," Cassie said. "He shouldn't have done those terrible things to Sam."

"No," O'Neill said, grimly. "He shouldn't. He won't do it to anyone else. Ever."

"Can I see Sam?" Cassie asked.

"I don't think you'll be able to tonight," he said. "She's having an operation, to fix her leg. And then your mom is going to take care of her. Your grandma's at the mountain already, she'll likely know more."

"Can we go there now?" Cassie wanted to know.

"Sure we can," O'Neill stood up and took out his keys. "It will all be okay, Cass."

"I love Sam," Cassie said.

"We all do, Cassandra," he replied with feeling. "We all do."


	14. Chapter 14

Sam drifted in and out of consciousness, as Janet held her in her arms. Her breathing seemed worse if anything, and her fever continued to rise. "102.9," Janet whispered to Sharon, who had insisted on staying with her two friends. "She's getting worse."

"It's only three hours since the operation," Sharon said gently. "Her body has to get over that trauma."

"It's pneumonia now," Janet kept her voice as small as possible, not wanting to disturb Sam.

"I know," Sharon's voice was equally quiet. "Want me to get the cart?"

Janet looked fearful at the suggestion. She hated the idea that they might have to intubate Sam. But better to have everything ready, at hand, just in case. She nodded miserably. "Yeah," she said.

Sharon put a warm hand on her shoulder. "It doesn't mean we have to use it," she reminded her.

"I know," Janet said, angrily wiping at a tear that had escaped.

Over the next three hours, Sam's condition continued to deteriorate. She woke almost every half hour, usually disoriented, sometimes acutely nauseous, always frightened. Only Janet's touch as she gentled her cheek, or wiped her face, or held her as the nausea overwhelmed her, seemed to get through to her at all. Janet never once let her touch leave her lover, and spoke softly, soothingly, lovingly, trying to reassure Sam that this would all soon be over. She sat at the head of Sam's bed, which allowed her to cradle her gently, one of her hands intertwined with one of Sam's.

Janet looked up when she heard a soft tap at the door, and saw Daniel's anxious face peering through the glass window.

"I'll go," Sharon was already on her feet.

Janet nodded, gratefully, turning her attention back to Sam, who was semi-conscious, sweat pouring off her as chills shook her battered body.

In a few minutes, Sharon was back at her side. "It's Cassie," she whispered, trying to keep her voice even. "No, it's okay," she said, as she saw the look of alarm on Janet's face. "She's alright. Truly. She had a nightmare is all. Ella is with her. Daniel just wanted you to know."

Janet looked down at Sam, her heart torn in two. Sam swallowed, and licked her dry lips. "Go," she croaked, her voice barely audible through the oxygen mask. "Needs you." She started to cough again at the effort of speaking.

"Shh," Janet said, "don't try to speak baby. It's okay," she rubbed her back lovingly and tightened her grip on her as she rode out the panic. Finally the crisis passed, and Sam rolled back once more into Janet's embrace.

Sam squeezed Janet's fingers. "Please," she gasped.

"You want me to go?" Janet asked.

Sam nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Okay, baby," Janet kissed her lovingly on the forehead. "I'll be right back, I swear. Sharon'll be with you the whole time. Frankie too," Janet referred to Dr Francine Michaels, as she pressed the buzzer by the bed. In under 30 seconds, Michaels was at her side. "I'm just gonna head out, see Cass," Janet explained, as she extricated herself and watched as Sharon gathered Sam in her arms, holding her carefully. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Can you stay?" she asked her.

"Of course," Francine Michaels answered. "We'll all be fine."

"I'll be real quick," Janet said, her heart breaking at having to leave Sam, if only for a few minutes.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet knocked at the door of the VIP suite, and let herself in. She saw Ella sitting on Cassie's bed, the child nestled on her lap. Ella was rocking her lovingly, and whispering soothing words.

Janet approached the bed, putting a warm hand on Ella's arm in response to her welcoming smile. "Hey," she said softly, running her hand through Cassie's hair. "Daniel tells me you're having a tough time."

Cassie looked up and saw her mother, tears filling her eyes with emotion. She flung herself at her mother. "Mom!" she cried, and started to sob again.

"Shh," Janet said. "It's okay, Cassie. It's okay. It's all gonna be okay."

"Cassandra had a nightmare," Ella explained. "But it's all over now, isn't it Cassie?"

Cassie nodded, her sobs slowing. Eventually they stopped, to be replaced by hiccups. "I'm sorry, Mom," she said.

"You don't have to be sorry," Janet said. "Nightmares are awful. Do you want to tell me about it?"

Cassie looked up at her mother. "It was horrible," she said. "I dreamt that it was like Hanka. You all died. Sam. You. Grandma. I was left on my own. But this time, nobody came to rescue me. I was all alone," she started to cry again.

"Oh Cass, that's a terrible nightmare. It didn't happen, though, honey. I swear," she cupped Cassie's chin, and pulled her face upwards so she was facing her. "Look at me, sweetie. I'm fine. And I'm not going anywhere. Your Grandma's here too. We're all gonna be fine."

"Sam's real sick though, isn't she Mom?" Cassie's voice was fearful.

Janet looked at her daughter, and decided that it was best to tell her the truth. She pulled her to her and held her tight. "She is, honey, she is," she said quietly. "But we're doing everything we can, I swear. They fixed her leg," she tried to sound cheerful. "But she has a long way to go."

"Uncle Jack said she has a fever," Cassie said.

"Yeah," Janet agreed. "It's making her feel real lousy. And her lungs aren't too good right now. But we have her on antibiotics, and lots of oxygen. And she's strong, Cass. So strong. And she loves you. She was worried that you and Grandma might not be safe, that's the first thing she said."

"In case the bad man comes back?" Cassie asked.

Janet nodded, trying to keep hold of her emotions. "That's right," she said, struggling to keep her voice even. "That's why you and Grandma are here, so's we can be sure you're safe."

"It's safe here, isn't it Mom?" Cassie asked.

"It is honey, it is. You'll be fine here. We all will," Janet replied.

"Grandma knows all about the Stargate now," Cassie brightened slightly. "Uncle Jack told her everything. She knows I'm from Hanka too."

Ella smiled. "It's a remarkable tale," she said quietly. "I always knew Cassandra was special."

Janet smiled back. "So special," she agreed. "Sam thinks so too. She's real sick, Cass," she told their daughter, "but she wanted me to come see you, make sure you're okay. You are okay, aren't you Cassie?"

Cassie sat up, and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Yeah," she forced a smile. "Of course I am. And Grandma's here if I get sad again. Can I see Sam?" she asked.

"No, sweetie, not quite yet," Janet said gently. "I'm sorry, but she's just too sick for any visitors right now. But you'll be her first visitor, I swear."

Cassie nodded. "I understand," she said. "You didn't leave her on her own, did you Mom?" her voice took on a note of panic.

"No, Cass, I didn't. Sharon and Frankie Michaels are with her, taking care of her. You remember Frankie, right? She took care of you when you were sick that time."

"She's real nice," Cassie said. She looked up at her mother. "Mom?" she said.

"Yes, honey?" Janet replied.

"It was real nice of you to come see me. I'm okay now. You should go back, be with Sam. You don't need to come see me again, not until Sam is better. Grandma will take care of me. Sam needs you now. Tell her I love her, huh?"

"She already knows that," Janet felt a rush of emotion at the unselfishness of their daughter. "I'll tell her though, I swear. She loves you too, Cass. So do I," she gave her a tight hug, and kissed her on the top of her head. "Thank you, Ella," she said to the older woman as she stood up.

Ella nodded and smiled reassuringly.

"Janet," O'Neill was waiting outside Cassandra's room as Janet exited. His tone was caring and supportive.

"Sir," Janet replied tiredly. "I really want to get back to Sam."

"I know," O'Neill replied. "I'll walk with you. I just wanted to ask, is there anything, anyone you can think of who might know where that bastard is. We're gonna find him Janet, and he's going to pay for what he's done."

Janet shook her head as they walked briskly toward the elevator. "I can't think of anyone," she said. "I don't know how he got here. He's not allowed out of the state, not without breaking his parole conditions. I just don't..." she stopped.

"Doc?" O'Neill asked, sensing that she might have a lead.

"It's a long shot," Janet said as they stepped into the elevator.

"Anything at all you think might help," his tone was kind.

"They use a guy. At work. I don't even know his surname. He does things for them. Finds people. He has contacts. They pay him in cash, no questions asked. He might have used him. I don't know."

"Where can we find him?" O'Neill asked.

"I don't know," Janet said. "But his boss Andrew might. He's called Ernie, I think. He came to the house once. David was real pissed when I saw him," Janet paled when she remembered the beating that had followed the visit.

"Thanks, Janet," O'Neill said. They were now outside Sam's private room at the infirmary. "That's great. How is she?" he nodded at the door.

"Not good," Janet said. "We just have to pray the antibiotics take hold soon."

"She's a fighter," O'Neill said, "the best there is." He gave Janet a quick hug. "Tell her we all love her," he said, his voice breaking.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet stepped into Sam's room, and was disconcerted to see Sam on her side. Frankie was removing a basin from her bedside, and Sharon was rubbing her back, holding the oxygen mask to her face as she struggled to haul oxygen into her lungs, panting with the effort, tears streaming down her face.

Janet rushed to her bedside, and took Sharon's place. "She got sick again, right?" she asked. Sharon nodded. "It's okay, Sam," Janet kissed her on the forehead, horrified at the heat that was pouring out of her.

"103.8," Frankie said quietly. "I think it's time, Janet," she said.

Janet was trying to calm her lover, who was gasping and panting desperately. Her lips were tinged with blue. Janet looked up at Frankie fearfully, and then nodded resolutely. Frankie moved to the cart, and started prepping a syringe. "Sam," Janet said, keeping her voice calm and reassuring. "It's okay, baby. Try not to panic. I know it's scary, sweetheart. But we're gonna fix you. We're gonna help you to sleep now, Frankie's getting a sedative. And then we'll make you all better." Tremors wracked Sam's body; Janet couldn't tell if it was the fever, or fear, or both.

"You don't have to worry about a thing, now, baby. That's it, you're doing good," Janet said as Frankie slipped the needle under the skin of Sam's left hand. "Okay, sweetie," Janet kept talking as Sam collapsed slowly into her arms. She could see that Frankie and Sharon were ready with all the implements for the intubation. "I'll do it," Janet said as she lay Sam back on the bed. Frankie nodded as Janet moved to stand behind Sam's head.

"It's in," Janet said seconds later, as she taped the tube to Sam's face. Sharon nodded and switched the ventilator on.

The swooshing sounds of the machine filled the room. Suddenly Janet's legs turned to rubber. Sharon rushed to her side, and guided her to a chair. Janet looked like death warmed over. "Are you okay?" Sharon asked.

Janet just looked up at her, confused. After several long seconds she nodded. "How is she?" she asked.

"Her color's better," Frankie answered. "She's getting more oxygen into her system."

Janet nodded again. Shakily she got to her feet and approached the bed. She thought her heart would break at the sight of Sam lying helpless, relying on life support to keep her breathing. She sank into the chair by the bed, and took up Sam's hand. "It'll be okay now, baby," she whispered, kissing each finger individually.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"I don't care what you have to do," O'Neill's tone was low and dangerous. "Just get him somewhere we can find him."

"Okay," Ernie was frightened of this Air Force colonel who had phoned him and threatened him. "I know what I can do. He's been bugging me for a passport. I'll tell him I've got it. But that I can't mail it, we have to meet somewhere in Colorado Springs."

"Tell him tomorrow morning," O'Neill said. "And then you call me right back, tell me where I need to be."

"I don't know if I can get him to agree," Ernie sounded pathetic.

"He will agree," O'Neill said. "I don't care what you have to do. Just do it."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"104.1," Janet looked up at the monitor. "Come on, baby, you have to fight this," she whispered to her lover. "You have to. I need you. We need you," she kissed her hand again tenderly. Sam was lying on her side, partly to alleviate her clogged lungs, partly to take the pressure off her wounded leg. Janet leant forward and kissed her on the forehead, tangling her other hand through her damp hair. She pulled Sam's limp hand towards her own breast, and moulded the fingers round the globe. "I need to feel you again," Janet whispered. "I need you in my life. In my bed. Don't give up on us now Sam. Cassie's already lost too much. She can't lose you too. Fight, Sam, fight," she gave in to the relief of tears as she lay her head next to Sam's.

"He said there's a track, about 2km long. Off the highway, near the intersection. Leads to an old reservoir," Ernie told O'Neill.

O'Neill felt nauseous. "That sick fuck," he spat. "That's where he..." he stopped himself. "What time?"

"He'll be there at 1030hrs," Ernie said.

"So will we," O'Neill muttered. "So will we."


	15. Chapter 15

O'Neill quietly let himself into Sam's room at 0700hrs the next morning. He had hoped to see Janet sleeping, but the small medic was seated by Sam's head, holding her hand between her own, and just staring into her lover's face.

"How is she, doc?" O'Neill asked in a quiet voice.

"Not good," Janet's voice was thick with emotion. "She had a rough night. Her fever is still dangerously high." She gestured to the monitor above Sam's head, which showed her temperature at a steady 104. "If this continues for much longer, there's a real risk of brain damage."

"Not gonna happen, doc," O'Neill said gently. "Nothing bad's gonna happen to that giant brain of hers."

"I hope you're right," Janet was tight-lipped with tension and exhaustion.

"You look terrible," O'Neill said. "Have you gotten any sleep at all?"

"I've dozed," Janet said. She looked up at him, and saw the concern in his eyes. "Oh no," fear crept into her voice. "You're not gonna try and make me leave her, are you? I'm not going anywhere. I wouldn't sleep anyway. Not until she's better. I don't care what..."

"Whoa!" O'Neill held up his hands in mock surrender. "Janet, it's okay," his voice was kind. "I didn't come to get you to leave her. I know there's nowhere else you want to be. Though you should try and sleep here if you possibly can. She'll need you when she wakes up."

Tears filled Janet's eyes. "I'm sorry," she said, "I'm not thinking straight. I snapped at Sharon earlier when she told me I should eat breakfast. You're right, and she's right."

"Where is she?" O'Neill looked around the room, seeing no sign of Janet's senior nurse.

"Getting me breakfast," Janet half-smiled, ruefully. "And phoning her family, I hope. She's been amazing, says she won't leave until Sam's on the road to recovery. And I know how much she's missing the kids."

"And Cora," Sharon said as she re-entered the room, bearing a tray from the commissary. "She sends her love, Janet. To both of you."

Janet nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"Mikey's real sad to hear Sam's sick," Sharon continued. "Cora says he's painted a picture for her to make her feel better. He said he wanted her to bring it in, so that 'Captain Sam' can have something cheerful to look at while she gets better."

A fat tear rolled down Janet's cheek. She reached out and ran her hand down Sam's flushed cheek. "Hear that baby? We're all rooting for you."

O'Neill placed a comforting hand on Janet's shoulder. "I'm heading out now, with Daniel and Teal'c," he said. "I'm not sure what time we'll be back. We might have a lead," he spoke cautiously, not wanting to give Janet too much information until he was sure what the outcome of the day would be. "I spoke to Ernie yesterday. I'll keep you informed," he promised. "And you call if there's any news on Carter, huh?" he nodded to the prone figure on the bed.

"I swear," Janet said.

She was touched when O'Neill leant down and kissed Sam on the cheek.

"Hang on in there, Carter," O'Neill's words were soft. "I need you out there with me, covering my ass. Confusing me with your explanations. You're the best I've ever worked with."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"He'll be early," O'Neill said to Daniel and Teal'c as they headed toward the reservoir. "At least half an hour. He'll want to make sure it's all safe. So we have to be there, and hidden, before he shows up."

Daniel nodded agreement. "He's an asshole, but he's not stupid," his language was uncharacteristically coarse. "God I hope he shows up."

"He'll be there," O'Neill said. "And we'll be ready for him."

"He will pay for what he has done to Captain Carter," Teal'c said. "We will not permit him to escape."

At 0950hrs, O'Neill looked up as he heard a car approaching. His truck was hidden in the bushes near the water. He raised his binoculars to his eyes. "It's him," he confirmed. "It's him," he spoke into his radio. "Into positions, now."

David Richmond settled into the driver's seat of his car. He wanted to be early, to take Ernie by surprise. He wanted to remain in control of the situation, so he turned his car round so that it was facing back up the lane he'd just driven along. If Ernie had anybody with him, or if he behaved unexpectedly, he would just drive back up the lane at high speed, and Ernie would be powerless to do anything about it. He was so busy gloating about his foolproof plan that he was totally taken by surprise when his door was wrenched open, and he came face to face with an angry O'Neill, who held a pistol to his head. In a blind panic, he kicked the door, which rebounded and hit O'Neill on the shoulder, knocking him temporarily off balance. David threw the car into gear, and screeched off up the lane. He couldn't believe how close he had come to getting caught. Just as he was breathing a sigh of relief, he rounded the bend in the lane, and saw that his path was blocked by six military Hummers, all of them filled with heavily armed airmen. He saw 24 P-90s trained on him, and he knew his luck had finally run out.

He couldn't go back to prison. He knew that. And he had killed that blonde bitch. Judging by the helicopter that he had seen over the scene, they had already found the body. The military were protective of their own. Maybe he wouldn't go to prison. Maybe they would take him back to that top-secret facility and he would 'disappear' from the system, thrown to the mercy of that bitch's friends. Who included the huge black guy with the bizarre tattoo, he remembered. And the older guy with the gun. He had seen the look in his eye. They would make him suffer. His life wouldn't be worth living. And God only knew what lies they would tell to Janet. She'd never have him back. Not now. Even though she needed him, he thought bitterly. If just she had realized that he was acting in her best interests. She needed him to guide her. She made all the wrong decisions when he wasn't there to take care of her. No, he couldn't let them catch him. It was over. There was only one thing he could do.

David suddenly reversed his car, the tires screeching as he turned it around, and gunned the engine. Within seconds he saw a startled looking O'Neill, Daniel and Teal'c as he reappeared in the clearing where they stood. They jumped rapidly to the side, missing being hit by the speeding car by a split second. "Oh my God," Daniel said. "He's gonna do it. He's actually gonna do it."

O'Neill knew what Daniel meant. He hated David Richmond more than anybody on Earth - or offworld, he realized - but he had to try to stop him. Suicide was an ugly way to go. So he levelled his gun, aiming at the tires of the speeding vehicle. He managed to blow out both of the rear tires. The car swerved dangerously, but if anything its speed increased. As he neared the edge of the reservoir, David hit a large boulder, throwing the car into the air at a crazy angle, so that it arced viciously as it left the ground. It hit the water with an almighty splash. The impact snapped his neck, killing him instantly.

The three male members of SG-1 stood open-mouthed as the car started to sink.

"We should probably try and pull him out," Daniel said.

"We should," Teal'c agreed. "But we will not," his tone brooked no argument.

"He'll be dead anyway," O'Neill said in a monotone. "He wasn't wearing a seatbelt. Nobody could survive that impact."

"Good," Daniel said, and turned away.

"Danny boy?" O'Neill's voice was concerned. Usually Daniel was the one who preached forgiveness and mercy.

"He doesn't deserve to live," Daniel said. "Look at what he did to Sam. And Janet. He's lucky we didn't catch him," he spat.

O'Neill nodded. "I'll call General Hammond," he said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"I can't eat any more," Janet's said as she pushed the half-eaten bowl to one side.

Sharon smiled. "That's okay," she said softly. "You did good." She took the tray away and set it outside in the corridor. She returned to Janet, and knelt at her feet.

"You're exhausted, Janet," she said gently. "You haven't left her side. I've put some clean BDUs in the bathroom, I think you'll feel better if you take a shower. Get out of these clothes," she pulled at Janet's uniform shirt. "You'll be more comfortable in BDUs. You can leave the door open in the bathroom, I swear I'll call out if there's any change at all."

Janet looked up at her, heavy-lidded eyes barely focusing. "You too," she said. "You've been here the whole time."

"I've slept more than you have," Sharon said.

"You should get some proper rest," Janet said. "In your quarters."

"I'll make a deal with you," Sharon said. "I swear that, as soon as Sam's breathing on her own again, and her fever's down, I'll go to my quarters. If," she smiled, "you go shower now. You can be back at her bedside in five minutes. And I'll be with her the whole time, holding her hand. Okay?"

Janet nodded. "Thanks," she whispered, as she headed toward the bathroom.

In seven minutes, Janet was back at Sam's bedside, her damp hair scraped back, with no make-up. Sharon looked over at her and marveled at how young she looked. And frightened. She stood up, ceding her place in the chair to her boss. She left the room and came back a minute later, two pillows and a blanket in her arms. "Stay there," she said gently to Janet, as she put the pillows behind her on the chair, and tucked the blanket around her. "Try and sleep if you can." She looked up at the computer screen above Sam's head. "103.9," she said quietly. "It's a slight improvement," she said. "And her O2 levels are good."

Janet nodded. "Her fever's still dangerously high," she whispered.

"I know," Sharon said quietly. "Have faith. She's fighting this all the way Janet. I know she'll do anything to come back to you."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Hey squirt," O'Neill poked his head round the door in Cassie's room.

Cassie looked up from her chair, where she sat, Angus dozing in her lap. Carefully she stood up and set the dog down in his basket. She ran into O'Neill's arms. "Uncle Jack!" she cried.

He hugged her fiercely, and kissed her affectionately on her cheek. "Hey Mrs K," he smiled at the older woman.

"Call me Ella, please," Ella said.

"Ella," O'Neill said. "And you must call me Jack."

"Did you find the bad man?" Cassie asked O'Neill.

"We did," O'Neill said, lowering himself into the chair. "Come, sit," he said gently, patting his knee. Cassie crawled into his lap, where she always felt so safe.

"Is he going to be able to hurt Sam again?" Cassie asked, an anxious look on her face.

"No, Cass," O'Neill replied. "He'll never hurt her again. I swear. He won't hurt anyone ever again."

"Did you hurt him?" Cassie asked.

"No," O'Neill replied, honestly. "We didn't. I swear. But you're safe now. He won't be around to frighten Sam, or your mom, or you. Or Ella. It's all over now."

"He's dead, isn't he?" Cassie demanded. "You killed him."

"We didn't kill him, Cass," O'Neill said quietly. "But you are right." He swallowed. This poor child had seen too much ugliness in her life. "He is dead. But it was his choice."

"How come?" Cassie wanted to know.

O'Neill put his arms around her. "Sometimes people can decide they don't want to live any longer," he tried to be as gentle as he could. "And usually that's wrong. Very wrong. And very sad. But I think in this case, the mean man decided he'd rather die than go back to prison. 'Cos he wouldn't have gotten out this time. It was his choice," he reiterated.

"Good," Cassie said, unexpectedly.

"Cass?" O'Neill asked.

"I'm glad he's dead. He tried to kill Sam. And he was mean to Mom. He used to be married to Mom, didn't he?"

O'Neill looked astounded. Cassie wasn't supposed to know that Richmond was Janet's ex-husband.

"Cass...," he started.

"It's okay," she said. "You don't have to explain. And Mom will tell me herself one day. I just worked it out."

"You're a smart kid," O'Neill kissed her on the top of her head. "No wonder your Mom and Sam are so proud of you."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Any change?" O'Neill asked as he let himself into Sam's room later that afternoon.

Janet looked up at him. "103.5," she said. "And her chest sounds a little clearer."

O'Neill smiled.

"She still has a very long way to go," Janet said. "But at least now it's starting to move in the right direction. So did you find him?" she asked directly.

"Yeah," O'Neill said. "We did. He's dead, Janet," he said, keeping his voice as gentle as possible. "I'm sorry, we didn't go out intending to kill him." He gave her all the details of the morning. When he had finished the tale, he saw tears rolling down Janet's face. "I'm sorry, doc," he said, taking her hand. "I know he was your husband. You loved him once."

Janet shook her head. "I'm crying because I'm relieved," she said eventually. "You're gonna get better, baby," she addressed Sam. "And when you do, it's over. You won't put yourself at risk looking for him. Trying to protect us. He's gone. Thank God."

"Think you can sleep a bit?" Sharon asked Janet at midnight. She had just changed all the ice packs surrounding Sam, and looked up at the monitor. "103.1," she smiled. "It's still dropping."

"Very slowly," Janet said glumly.

"Slowly, but surely," Sharon said, as she arranged the pillows behind Janet's head. "You sleep for a couple of hours, then I'll sleep after that. We'll keep watch," she smiled slightly.

"102.7," Janet was smiling when Sharon woke the following morning. "And she looks so much better, doesn't she?"

Sharon smiled. "She does," she agreed.

"Warner's just been in," Janet was very animated. "He and Frankie agree that if she continues to improve, we can maybe think about extubating later on."

Sharon pulled Janet into a warm hug. "I'm so pleased, Jan," she said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"102.2," Frankie Michaels smiled. "I've stopped the sedative. She should wake up any moment. And then," she squeezed Janet's hand. "We can get that tube out. Her lungs sound so much clearer," she said. "The antibiotics have finally worked. I think she's gonna be okay Janet. She's got a long road ahead of her, but she's gonna be okay."

Janet nodded dumbly. She reached out a shaking hand and stroked Sam's cheek. "Hear that, baby?" she whispered. "You did it. You're gonna be fine." Very carefully, she peeled away the tape that held the tube in place. When she had finished, she saw that Sam's eyes were flickering. She wiped the sweat off Sam's forehead. "It's okay, sweetie," her voice was gentle and loving. "You're starting to wake up now. Try not to panic, baby," she soothed. "You've got a tube in your throat," she saw Sam's eyes opening. A look of panic spread across Sam's face as she realized that she couldn't breathe normally. She tried to reach up to remove the obstruction, but Janet seized one hand, as Sharon held the other. "Sam, baby," she said, "listen to me," she saw the look of terror in Sam's eyes. "We're gonna take the tube out, and you'll be fine. No, honey," she said as Sam tried to jerk against the restraining hands. "Try and stay calm," she was already pressing the button to elevate the bed. "In just a few seconds, I need you to cough for me, can you do that Sam?" Janet kept up a low commentary. "And then we'll have that out of you. It'll all be over. Okay, now," she said.

Seconds later, the tube was out. Sam was trying desperately to drag oxygen into her lungs, coughing and retching with the effort. Janet rubbed her back tenderly, holding an oxygen mask over her face. "It's okay, sweetie," Janet repeated, again and again, "just give it a few minutes, you'll be fine. The worst is over now. That's it, honey, you're doing good. Just try and calm your breathing. On my count, honey. In. Out. In. Out," she held Sam tight in her arms as the blonde finally calmed.

Sam clutched desperately at Janet's shirt. As her breathing started to even out, and the terror of asphyxiation slowly leached away, she still felt frightened, and could only find solace in Janet's warm embrace. She didn't know what was happening, or where she was. But she knew Janet's touch, heard her soft voice, though she couldn't discern what she was saying. She felt worse than she had ever felt, and clung to Janet as though to a lifeline. "It's okay," she heard Janet say. She didn't feel okay, but if Janet said it, then she would be. Sam started to cry, her whole body wracked with pain.

"Shh, baby," Janet whispered, perching on the side of the bed and pulling Sam more fully into her arms. "It's over now." She took a cool cloth from Sharon, and ran it lovingly over Sam's face and neck. "You're going to be okay. I know you feel lousy, but I'll take care of you. That's it, honey. Just try and relax." Janet heard Sam whimpering, and kissed her lovingly on her forehead. She put a tender hand over Sam's fist that clutched at her shirt, stroking it softly.

Sam pulled back slightly in Janet's embrace, so that she could look at Janet's face. She forced her eyes to focus on her. Sam reached up, her hand shaking violently, to cup Janet's face. She ran her hand down her soft cheek, and her face crumpled once more as tears overwhelmed her.

"It's okay, baby," Janet rocked her gently. "It's okay. I'm here with you. And I'm staying. You're gonna be okay. We're all okay." She kissed her very softly on the lips. "I love you Sam. Thank you for coming back to me."


	16. Chapter 16

After about 15 minutes, Janet realized that Sam had fallen to sleep. She slid out from underneath her, still holding her hand, and sat at her bedside.

"Lunch?" Sharon asked Janet mildly.

Janet shook her head.

"Janet...," Sharon's voice held a note of warning.

Janet looked up at her, and gave a small smile. "I know," she said, "I should take my own advice. I'm sorry, Sharon. Yes. Please. A sandwich or something would be great. And maybe something to drink. No," she grinned, "not coffee, I know. Fruit juice maybe, something like that."

"I'll be right back," Sharon smiled in return.

Sam shifted in her sleep, and tightened her hold on Janet's hand.

"Hey, sweetie," Janet murmured softly. "That's it, baby, you sleep. I'm staying here, Sam. I'll be by your side when you wake."

"That was great," Janet said to Sharon as she finished her chicken sandwich. "I didn't realize how hungry I was."

"I'm not surprised you were hungry," Sharon replied. "You've hardly eaten the past few days. She's gonna be okay, Janet," she said softly.

"Thank God," Janet's voice was small. "I should go tell Cassie's she's out of danger."

"I'll go," Sharon replied. "You need to be here if she wakes."

"Do you mind?" Janet was grateful.

"Not at all. Can I tell her she can come see her tomorrow?" Sharon asked.

"Yeah, tomorrow, that should be okay," Janet replied. "Sam'll want to see her, I'm sure."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Isn't that good news?" Ella beamed as Sharon left their room, pulling Cassie into a warm hug. "She's going to be alright."

Cassie nodded, tears filling her eyes. She melted into her grandmother's arms. "I was so worried, Grandma," she said. "It made me think of my Mom on Hanka."

"Of course it did," Ella rocked her gently. "But it's all going to be okay now. Shall we take Angus out for a walk to celebrate? I think he's going a bit stir-crazy here," she smiled as she looked down at the small dog.

"Yeah," Cassie nodded, wiping her eyes. "And Grandma?"

"Yes, Cass?" Ella said.

"Can we pick some flowers for Sam when we go to the surface? There's some nice wild ones just by the big tree."

"I think that's a wonderful idea," Ella replied. "Next time she wakes up she'll see them, and that'll cheer her up."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"I thought we had a deal," Janet smiled wryly at Sharon that evening.

"Huh?" Sharon was confused.

"You promised me that as soon as Sam was breathing on her own that you'd get some rest. In your quarters."

Sharon grinned. "I did, didn't I?" she said. She looked at her watch. "Alice comes on shift in a half hour," she said. "How about I call the commissary, get them to bring up some dinner for us both. Then, by the time we've eaten, Alice will be here, so I won't be leaving you alone."

"I won't be alone," Janet said softly, looking tenderly at Sam.

Sharon smiled. "No," she said. "Not alone."

"I'll see you tomorrow morning then, Jan," Sharon kissed Janet on the cheek. "I hope you get some sleep. Both of you."

"We will," Janet smiled.

As Sharon approached her quarters, she reached into her pocket for her cellphone. She was dialing as she opened the door to her room. "I hope that's me you're calling," a soft voice spoke from the corner of the room.

Sharon looked over. "Cora!" she cried.

"Hey," Cora said gently, as she got up from the chair and went over to Sharon, taking her in her arms. She kissed her softly. "I missed you," she said.

"I missed you too," Sharon's voice cracked with emotion. "So much. How are the kids?"

"They're great," Cora replied. "Your mom's with them. I had to see you."

"I'm so glad you did," Sharon said. "How did you get in here?" she asked.

"I didn't think I'd be able to," Cora admitted. "But I saw that nice colonel, I forget his name. The one we met at Janet and Sam's. Sam's CO, I think."

"Colonel O'Neill," Sharon smiled. "He's a good guy."

"He escorted me here personally," Cora told her. "Said any friend of Sam and Janet's was fine by him. Hey," she said, concern in her voice. "You're shaking."

Sharon shook her head. "I'm just tired," she said, tears welling in her eyes. "It's been awful honey," she admitted. "I don't know how Janet coped. She's amazing. I just couldn't stop thinking, what would I have done if it had been you? I don't think I'd have kept it together like she did. I don't know what I'd do if..."

"Shh," Cora replied. "It's not going to happen to me. Not to either of us. Sam was real unlucky. Richmond's a total asshole. How is Sam doing now?"

Sharon smiled slightly. "Much better," she replied. "She's off the ventilator, and her fever's way down."

"Poor Janet," Cora said. "She must be so relieved."

Sharon nodded. "How long can you stay?" she asked.

"All night," Cora told her. "Your mom's staying overnight at our house, and she'll take Mikey to pre-school tomorrow. I just wanted to hold you," she smiled ruefully. "And," she grinned, "Mikey insisted that I come in with this for Sam," she reached over to her bag and withdrew the picture their son had painted for Sam. "He wants her to have it to make her feel better."

"She'll love it," Sharon said. She looked at it carefully. "Hey," she said. "It's a picture of his train set. The one Sam fixed for him. I'll put it up in her room tomorrow morning. He's a good kid, isn't he?"

"Yeah," Cora agreed. "And he's real sensitive too. He was going to do a picture of her truck, but when he found out that she was in it when she had her 'accident' he did the trains instead."

"That's so sweet," Sharon said. She remembered something. "You do realize I only have a single bed here?" she motioned to the bed in the corner of the room."

"I don't think that's gonna be a problem," Cora smiled. "We always used to manage, didn't we?" She grinned. "You do remember my room at college, huh?"

Sharon smiled back. "Oh yeah," she replied. "Single mattress on the floor. No lampshades. Peeling paint. Cracked glass in the window."

"We had some of the best times in that room, didn't we?" Cora said.

"We sure did," Sharon agreed, reaching up and starting to unbutton her lover's shirt. "Thank God Mom moved to Colorado when we did, huh?" she grinned. "Babysitting on tap!"

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"100.3," Janet smiled at Sam a few days later. "How are you feeling baby?" she asked, tenderly.

Sam smiled back at her. "Good," she said, her voice hoarse from lack of use. She reached out and took Janet's hand. "How are _you_ Jan?" she peered into her face, seeing evidence of exhaustion and tension.

Janet squeezed her fingers gently, and sat on the edge of Sam's bed. She reached down and kissed her softly on the lips. "On top of the world," she said, her voice shaking with emotion. "Now I know you're gonna be okay." She kissed her again.

"I love you," Sam said quietly, and tried to stifle a yawn.

"You should sleep," Janet said.

"That's all I seem to do," Sam grumbled. "I can't stay awake for more than a few minutes."

"You need to sleep, baby," Janet ran her hand through her hair. "Your body needs to recover. And Sam? I love you too."

Sam smiled as she drifted off to sleep.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Oh thank God," Sam sighed, as she buckled up in the car. "I was starting to go crazy in that infirmary."

Janet smiled at her. "We're going home," she said. "Both of us," tears filled her eyes unexpectedly, and she turned away so that Sam wouldn't see, but it was too late.

"It's okay, Jan," Sam said gently. "I know you've had a tough time. It's been much worse for you, I do know that. You've had to do everything."

"The worst was when I couldn't do anything," Janet admitted. "When I could only sit there. Hold your hand. Pray."

"Your prayers worked," Sam said quietly. "And so did all your care and love. It's all gonna be okay."

"You've still got a long way to go," Janet reminded her. "Your leg, especially."

"I'll be fine. With you by my side, I can do anything," Sam leaned over and kissed her gently. "Now get me the hell out of here Dr Fraiser!" she grinned as she spoke.

"It would be my pleasure," Janet said as she started the car.

Janet helped Sam to the couch in the living room. "I'll go get us some lunch," she said. "Be right back."

Sam nodded. She was exhausted just by the short trip and exertion of getting from the car into the house.

Janet went into the kitchen, and saw a pot on the stove. There was a note on the counter.

_My dear Janet and Samantha,_

_I am so pleased you are both getting home today. I've made some soup for your lunch, it's on the stove ready to be heated up when you are ready._

_There's a fish pie in the refrigerator for dinner. I'm going to pick Cassie up from school this afternoon, and we're going to spoil ourselves with a movie and pizza. Angus'll be fine in my yard for a couple of hours. I'll bring them both back around 8pm tonight. If that's not okay, give me a call, otherwise I'll see you this evening._

_Much love to you both,_

_Ella_

Janet felt her eyes filling up. She went back through to the living room, and wordlessly passed the note to Sam, who was equally moved by their elderly friend's thoughtfulness.

"That's so sweet," Sam said. "She's real kind. She really is part of the family now, huh?"

"Yeah," Janet agreed. "And Cass loves her so much. I'll bring you some soup Sam."

"Bed," Janet said firmly as Sam put down her soup bowl. "No," she saw Sam was about to protest. "You swore to me you'd follow doctor's orders if I let you come home. You're exhausted, Sam."

Sam gave a small smile. "Yeah," she said. "I am. Okay, baby," she said. "Help me up," she asked, as she reached for her crutches.

Janet guided her to the study, where the guys had put their bed temporarily. Janet knew that Sam wasn't up to climbing up and down the stairs regularly, but desperately wanted to take her home. So O'Neill had suggested that he and Teal'c and Daniel should come round and move things around for them. Fortunately there was a small bathroom downstairs, as well as a shower, so Sam could just live on the ground floor for a few weeks until she was more mobile.

Janet helped Sam to change into a loose fitting nightshirt. Very carefully, she lifted Sam's plastered leg and eased it on to the bed, noticing Sam wincing as she did so. "Are you okay?" she asked Sam.

"M'fine," Sam's voice was tight. "Truly. It just gets a little sore. I'll be glad once I can get the cast off."

"Just three more weeks," Janet said. "There, how's that?"

"It's great," Sam smiled, as Janet drew the covers up to her chin. "Stay a little while, huh?"

"Try and stop me," Janet undid her own jeans and kicked them off. She slid in next to Sam and wriggled up close. She took Sam's hand, and pulled her arm over her, snuggling up into her embrace. "I've missed this," she said wistfully. "Just being close."

"Me too," Sam said softly. "So much. Thank you for taking care of me Jan. I love you."

"I love you too, baby," Janet turned to face her lover and kissed her tenderly.


	17. Chapter 17

Janet hadn't realized how tired she was until she awoke four hours later, Sam's warm arm still wrapped tightly round her waist. She looked over at Sam and noticed that she was awake. Sam reached out with her other hand, and ran it gently through Janet's hair.

"Hey," Janet said softly.

"Hey to you too," Sam replied, and leant over, kissing her tenderly on the lips. "You were tired too, huh?"

Janet grinned ruefully. "Looks like it," she replied. "How are you feeling Sam?" she asked.

"Great," Sam replied. "Being home is wonderful. Having you in bed with me is even better."

Janet look deep into Sam's eyes, seeing the love and tenderness in them. She kissed her, and Sam responded enthusiastically, melting at her lover's touch. It was several minutes before they broke apart. "What time is it?" Sam asked, her breathing a touch ragged.

"Nearly 4pm," Janet replied. "Why?"

Sam smiled. "Plenty of time then," she said.

"For what?" Janet demanded, smiling widely.

"For this," Sam kissed her again, allowing her hand to slide under Janet's tee. "For us. God, I've missed this so much."

"Sam," Janet's voice held a warning tone. "I don't think we should. Your lungs are still weak, baby. And what about your leg?"

"We can work round that," Sam's voice was husky. She pressed her lips to Janet's flat stomach. "Oh God, please Jan. I need this. Please. I need to feel you."

"Okay," Janet agreed, "but we've gotta be careful."

Sam smiled. "I will, sweetie," she said, as she pushed Janet against the mattress, "I swear."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"You are so beautiful," Sam said to Janet two hours later.

Janet smiled. "You always make me feel beautiful," she said, in a soft voice. "I don't know how you do it."

"I love you so much, Jan," Sam's tone was serious.

"Right back at ya," Janet smiled.

"We should get up," Sam grimaced comically.

"Yeah," Janet agreed. "We've gotta shower and eat dinner before Cass gets here."

"I can't wait to see her," Sam said. "I haven't seen enough of her these past few weeks. It was so kind of Ella to take her in and take care of her, wasn't it?"

"She's been wonderful," Janet agreed. "Cassie had to go to school, but I couldn't leave you, Sam. Not like that. Not when you were so sick," her voice cracked at the memory of the ordeal they had both been through.

"You were amazing," Sam kissed her softly. "You were always there. Every time I woke up. Whenever I was scared, or in pain. You were right there with me."

"There was nowhere else I'd rather be," Janet cupped her face. "God you're stunning," her voice was awestruck. "I'm the luckiest woman in the world."

"Nuh uh," Sam disagreed. "That's me. Paul Newman was right."

"Huh?" Janet asked.

"Why go out for hamburger when you can have steak at home?" Sam grinned.

Janet snorted. "C'mon, then, flygirl," she poked humorously at her lover. "We need to get you into the shower."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Sam!" Cassie flung herself down the corridor and raced into the living room, where Sam was seated on the couch. "Oh Sam I've missed you!" she ran toward Sam, and then stopped suddenly. "I don't want to hurt you," she said in a worried tone.

"Then come here and give me a hug!" Sam demanded, her arms outstretched. She took her daughter in her arms and hugged her fiercely, rocking her lovingly. "I've missed you Cass," she whispered.

At that moment, Sam heard barking, and looked up in time to see Angus shooting into the living room, like a furry bullet. He leapt up on to the couch, and started licking Sam's face frenziedly, emitting small squeaks of excitement.

Cassie laughed. "Gus missed you too," she said. "Sam, it's so great to have you home."

"We all still have to be careful, Cass," Janet entered the room. "Sam still has a lot of healing to do."

"She's okay though, huh Mom?" Cassie looked concerned.

Sam grabbed Cassie again, and tickled her, pinning her to the couch. "I'm _great_ Cass," she said.

"But your leg is still bad?" Cassie persisted.

"My leg's gonna take a while," Sam admitted. "Luckily there's a doctor in the house," she grinned at Janet. "I have my own private physical therapist!"

Sam noticed Janet dangling the car keys from her hand. "Goin' somewhere?" she asked.

Janet laughed. "No, just gonna put the car in the garage. We left it out on the driveway, remember?"

"No!" Sam spoke more sharply than she had intended. She looked over at Janet. "Not the garage," she said more quietly, nodding almost imperceptibly at Cassie.

Janet realized Sam wanted to talk to her alone. "Cass, could you take Angus into the utility room and give him his dinner?" she kept her tone light.

"Sure Mom," Cassie replied. "Come on Gus," she dragged the excited dog away from Sam.

"Thanks," Sam said sounding relieved. "I didn't want to say anything in front of Cassie. I don't want her to be afraid. But please, Jan," her face was full of tension. "Please don't use the garage. Not until I can make it secure. It was stupid of me not to secure it before. It's my own fault I was attacked there, I know I should have..." she started to cough.

"Hey," Janet sat on the couch next to her. "It's okay honey." She put a comforting hand on Sam's back as she continued coughing.

"I just want you to be safe," Sam gasped, her weak chest convulsing at the effort.

"Shh," Janet said. "Try and calm yourself, baby. It's okay. I won't go in the garage, I swear. Now try and relax if you can, that'll help. Want some water?"

Sam nodded gratefully, as she tried to stop the coughing.

Janet was back at her side in seconds, holding the glass to Sam's lips. She reached up and brushed the hair from her face. "It's okay, Sam," she whispered. "It's all over. He's gone. He's never coming back. You're safe now. We're all safe. But we won't use the garage. It's okay."

Eventually Sam's breathing returned to normal. "Sorry," she said in a weak voice, furious to find herself so exhausted.

Janet reached up and wiped away tears from Sam's face that Sam hadn't even noticed falling. "Oh honey," her voice was tender and loving. "You don't have to be sorry. It's perfectly natural. You had a terrible ordeal in that garage. We don't have to use it again, ever, not if you don't want us to. Hey," she kissed her softly. "We don't even have to stay here. We can move house. We can go anywhere you want. Whatever you need, we'll do it."

Sam took her hand and interlaced their fingers, bringing it up to her lips to kiss it. "No," she said quietly but firmly. "We're staying here. You love this house. I do too. And Cassie. And Ella's just across the road. The house is perfect. And we will use the garage again, once I've put some more locks on it. I need that garage," she tried to lighten her tone. "Where else am I gonna fix my motorbikes?"

Janet's heart skipped a beat. She was so touched by Sam's bravery. She was also pleased to hear her talking about using her bikes again. It would be months, if ever, before her leg was fully recovered, so Janet was pleased to hear her talking so optimistically.

"Whatever you want, Sam," she said.

Cassie re-entered the room. "Are you okay Sam?" she asked, sounding concerned. "I heard coughing."

"I'm fine, Cass," Sam said, forcing her voice to sound stronger. "My chest is still a bit weak, but I'm fine. Truly."

"I think it's about time for bed, for all of us," Janet looked at the clock which showed 8.45pm. "You have school tomorrow, young lady," she saw a scowl starting to appear on Cassie's face. "And Sam needs to sleep so's she can heal properly."

"Ten minutes?" Sam pleaded. "I want a proper hug from our daughter."

Janet smiled. She could never refuse Sam anything. "Ten minutes," she said. She put a large cushion behind Sam, and watched as their daughter climbed into Sam's arms and snuggled into her. She noticed approvingly that Cassie was very careful not to jar Sam's leg.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"You'll be okay for a half hour while I drive Cass to school?" Janet asked Sam anxiously.

Sam smiled. "I'm fine Jan, I swear. You have a good day at school, huh squirt?" she grinned at their daughter.

Cassie hugged her tightly. "I'll see you later, Sam," she said.

The car had just backed out of the driveway when the phone rang. "Carter," Sam answered in her usual fashion. "Oh hi Sir," she smiled as she recognized her CO's tones.

"Hey Carter," O'Neill said. "How're you doin'?"

"Great, Sir, thank you," Sam replied. "It's wonderful to be home."

"I'm glad, Sam," O'Neill said sincerely. "Carter, I need to see you and doc. There are some things I need to go through. When would be a good time?"

"She's just giving Cassie a ride to school," Sam told him. "Back in half an hour."

"I'll be right there," O'Neill replied.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"So let me get this straight," Janet spoke carefully, her voice almost unnaturally calm. Sam knew she was trying to hold it together. "The authorities are offering to cover this whole thing up? Say it was an accident?"

"Only if that's what you want," O'Neill was gentle. "The way I see it is, we say it was an accident, get all the paperwork done, then you and Carter don't have to be involved. No inquests. Court cases. No investigation into what he did to you Carter," he gestured to her leg. "This way we can all draw a line under it. It's not like he can be punished for what he did, is it? But it's your choice, doc. Yours and Carter's. If you prefer, we can just let things run their course."

"But this way it's over?" Janet's voice shook a little, and she reached out for Sam's hand.

"That's right," O'Neill's voice was kind and understanding.

"Then let's do it," Janet said. "More than anything, I just want this to be over. Is that okay with you Sam?" she asked her lover.

Sam nodded. "Absolutely," she said. "And now we can move on. Thank you, Sir," she turned to her CO.

Janet showed O'Neill to the door, and returned to the living room. "C'mere," Sam said, patting the space on the couch next to her. Janet sat down wordlessly. Sam pulled Janet gently into her arms, and dragged the comforter over both of them. "It's over, sweetie," Sam whispered, running her hand through Janet's hair. "It's all over."

Within a few minutes, the two women were asleep, tangled in each other's arms. They both still had a long way to go to recover from their ordeal, but at least they no longer had to worry about dragging up their memories of the assault and all Janet's history with David Richmond. He was dead and their friends had pulled strings to cut out all the red tape. Janet shifted in Sam's arms, unconsciously snuggling closer to the woman she loved more than air.


	18. Chapter 18

"Hey, sweetie, you okay?" Janet looked over at Sam as she buckled herself into the passenger seat in the car.

"I'm okay," Sam sounded just a bit too cheerful to Janet's ears.

Janet leaned over and took her hand. "It'll be okay, honey," she said in a soft voice.

Sam looked at her, about to demur, when she realized she had been busted. She gave a small smile. "I know," she said quietly. "I just hate it. Even with you as my doctor," she said apologetically.

"I know you do, Sam," Janet replied. "But it's gonna be easy today. I'm just going to check if there's any improvement in your lung capacity, and then..." she smiled at Sam.

"And then you're gonna take this damned cast off!" Sam smiled in return. "But then there's the scan. I'm sorry, Jan, I just hate waiting for results."

"You won't have to wait," Janet promised her. "We'll get all the results straight away."

"And then you'll have a clearer idea of when I can go back on duty. If I ever can," Sam voiced her biggest concern.

Janet squeezed her fingers. "I don't think we're gonna be able to determine that today," she said. "Today's just about measuring your progress so far. Okay?" her voice was tender and loving.

Sam nodded, and tried to turn away so Janet wouldn't see her eyes glistening with emotion. Very gently, Janet cupped her face and turned it toward her. She kissed Sam softly on the lips. "I love you," she whispered.

Sam nodded, her throat suddenly constricted.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Once more," Janet held the peak flow meter to Sam's lips. "We need an average of three," she explained.

Sam blew as hard as she could into the plastic mouthpiece. Janet smiled, and noted down some figures.

"Well?" Sam demanded.

"It's good, Sam," Janet kept the smile fixed on her face.

"Any improvement from last time?" Sam wanted facts and figures.

Janet put a hand on her arm. "Not yet," she said gently. "Just the same. But it's still good. For someone who had severe pneumonia, you're doing real good."

Sam nodded. "Okay," she tried to hide her disappointment. She smiled at her lover. "So what about this damned thing?" she tapped on her cast. "I cannot wait for you to take this off."

Janet grinned. "Yes ma'am," she saluted comically. "There's one drawback though," she was determined to bring some levity into the situation.

"What's that?" Sam demanded.

"You'll have to shave both legs again!" Janet grinned.

"Oh my God," Sam realized. "I hate to think what it'll look like. You have to promise not to look. Not until I've shaved."

"Nuh uh," Janet smiled. "Doctor's privilege. Anyways," she smirked. "I need to know."

"Need to know what?" Sam demanded suspiciously.

"If you're gonna be wanting to audition for Planet of the Apes!" she ducked as Sam tried to swat her.

"I'm gonna requisition me one of those," Sam mused as Janet worked her way down her leg with the miniature circular saw that she always used to take casts off patients. "It'd be real useful in my lab."

Janet smiled, as she reached her toes. "Okay," she said, "here goes, you ready?"

"Oh God yes," Sam said. "I can't wait to have a good scratch!"

Janet levered the cast apart, and eased it from under Sam's leg.

Sam covered her eyes dramatically, but couldn't hide her grin. "So tell me the worst, doctor," she said, "am I gonna need a flame thrower to clear the vegetation?"

She opened her eyes to see Janet running her hand lovingly down her calf. Janet fingered the fine, soft, golden hairs that were barely visible. There were tears in her eyes as she inspected the scars. "You're so beautiful," her voice hitched. She looked up at Sam.

Sam's heart melted at the love and tenderness in Janet's face. "Kiss me," she asked in a quiet voice. So Janet did.

"Well the bones have knitted well," Janet smiled, as she consulted the computer screen in front of her. "We'll start you on physical therapy right away. See how much movement we can get back."

"And the lungs?" Sam tried to keep her voice even. She knew that there was no way she could return to active duty unless her lungs improved. She still suffered regular coughing fits, and several times she had woken at night to find Janet holding the nebulizer over her face. The leg she could work on. And she would work. As long and as hard as she possibly could. But lungs weren't something that could be fixed with exercise.

Janet looked at her, trying to meet her gaze. "There is some scarring," she admitted eventually. "We have to just hope that in time it'll dissipate."

"But that's not likely, is it?" Sam asked her directly. "It's unlikely to ever heal completely."

"We can't know that," Janet said.

"It's a possibility, though, right?" Sam asked. "A strong possibility."

Janet nodded. "Yeah," she said. "I'm sorry, Sam."

Sam nodded, trying to hold it all together. Despite her efforts, a fat tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.

Janet slid out from behind her desk, and stood in front of Sam. She cupped her face, pulling it gently upward. "Look at me," she said gently.

Sam did, and was overwhelmed by the love and concern in Janet's beautiful brown eyes. She could drown in those eyes, she thought. "Well I just have to make the most of it," she said bravely. "I'll work as hard as I can. That's all I can do."

Janet kissed her tenderly. "I'll be with you every step of the way," she promised. She kissed her again, instantly turned on as she always was by the taste and feel of her lover. She pushed her tongue gently into Sam's mouth, and was gratified at Sam's immediate response. Reluctantly, after a few seconds, she pulled away slightly, putting her hand over Sam's, and resting her forehead against her lover's. "Not here," her breathing was ragged. "Though God knows I want to."

Sam grinned. She kissed her, more chastely this time. "Tonight," she breathed. "And," she smiled, "we don't have to worry about the cast!"

Janet smiled back. "You ready for some exercises then?" she asked. "I've got Sgt Collins waiting for you in the gym. She's got some killer exercises for you. I doubt you'll have the energy for anything tonight!"

Sam rose to her feet, grimacing at the pain. "I'll find the energy," she promised. "Now lead the way, doctor!"

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Hey, Ella," Janet answered the phone late that afternoon. Two hours before, she had led a protesting Sam to bed, and insisted that she get some rest. "You worked out for over an hour," she said, "that leg's gotta hurt like hell."

Sam had reluctantly admitted that it did. Janet gave her painkillers and tucked her up in bed. "No," she shook her head when Sam tried to persuade her to join her. "Not yet. I have to make dinner. And you have to sleep. We'll fool around later, I promise."

So Sam was still sleeping when the phone rang. "Hi Janet," Ella said. "How is she? How did it go?"

"She's sleeping now," Janet told her. "The cast is off, at last. She's gonna need a cane still, I'm not sure how long for. But she's determined to get as fit as she can. She's being so brave, Ella. There's scarring on her lungs. It's likely permanent," she tried to keep her voice steady. "Only time will tell."

"She's got a great doctor," Ella said. "I know nobody could do more for her."

"She hates being taken care of," Janet admitted to Ella. "She's been real good about it. But she likes to be the one taking care of me. And Cass. She's always telling me she wants to protect us from anything bad."

"And she'll continue to do so," Ella reassured Janet. "She may just have to learn to do it in different ways. Sam is strong," she said. "And not just physically."

Janet nodded, forgetting that Ella couldn't see her over the phone.

"I'm gonna pick Cassie up from school later," Ella told her. "She's gonna stay the night with me. No," she insisted, as Janet started to protest. "She wants to. We talked about it yesterday. She's a bright kid. She knew today would be hard for both of you. You need to be with Samantha tonight."

"Thank you," Janet whispered.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Just before 7pm, Janet heard a noise behind her in the kitchen, and she turned round to see a sleep-rumpled Sam, wearing her usual night-time attire of boxers and a sleeveless t-shirt, leaning on a single crutch. Sam smiled at her.

"Hey," Janet smiled back. "What are you doin' here?"

"Got lonely," Sam said, lowering herself into a chair. "Hey, where's Cass? And Angus?"

"Staying at Ella's again," Janet said. "Apparently it's more fun over there than here," she tried to keep her tone light.

"More likely Ella's been baking those chocolate chip cookies again," Sam smiled. "C'mere," she reached out and caught Janet's hand. She pulled Janet so that the small medic was standing between her legs. Sam reached up and ran her hand down Janet's cheek. "How do you do it?" she asked.

"Do what?" Janet asked.

"Get more beautiful each day," Sam pulled her down for a kiss. "My God, Janet," her breathing was becoming ragged, "you are just stunning." She reached out and pulled Janet's t-shirt from her jeans, exposing her flat, toned stomach. She kissed the warm flesh. She pushed the t-shirt up and over Janet's head. "Oh Jan," she breathed. "I love you so much."

Janet felt as if she could come on the spot. "I love you too, baby," she replied. "Bed," she panted, leaning over and turning the knob on the stove to the 'off' position.

"Dinner?" Sam panted.

"It'll keep," Janet gulped. "I can't wait."

"Neither can I," Sam steered her toward the stairs. "I want to show you just what I can do without the cast."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet cried out and collapsed in Sam's arms, panting and whimpering with desire.

Sam pulled her exhausted lover even closer to her. Janet tightened her grip on Sam, but turned her face away. "Jan?" Sam asked, concerned. She felt Janet shudder in her arms. "Jan? Are you okay."

Involuntarily, Janet let out a muffled cry of anguish. Sam sat up slightly, turning Janet in her arms so that she was cradled. Very gently, Sam turned Janet's face to the light. "You're crying," she said softly. "What is it baby?"

"You," Janet said eventually. "You. I swear I love you more every time I set eyes on you. That was so beautiful, Sam. I can't bear to think what would have happened if you'd been in that water a few moments longer. If the pneumonia had been worse. If..." she inhaled sharply, "if he had won. Sam, it's all my fault. If you'd never met me, you wouldn't have gone through all that. You'd be well now. You'd still be on active duty. Your leg would be okay. Your lungs..." she started to weep openly as the emotion of the day overwhelmed her. "I just...," her sobs increased, coming in great gulps as she struggled to speak. "It's all my fault. I'm so sorry," her whole body started to shake.

Sam was appalled. "Shh, baby," she whispered, kissing her softly. She cupped Janet's sodden cheek lovingly. "Stop it. It's okay. None of this is your fault. None of it. You couldn't have stopped him. And you saved me, honey. It's thanks to you I'm here. And as for never meeting you," she shuddered at the mere thought. "I can't think of anything worse. You must know how much I love you Jan. I didn't know it was possible. To love anybody as much as I love you. I thought I had a good life before I met you. I thought I was happy. But I wasn't. I was content. I had a great job, but that was it. Now I'm with you, I realize just how empty my life was. Yes, some of this is a real bummer," she admitted. "But my God it's worth it. If that's the price I have to pay to be with you, I'll pay it, and gladly. I'd go through this every month if I had to. If it meant I could wake up every morning in your arms. But it's not just your body, though God knows you are just about the hottest thing he ever made. It's who you are that matters. This hot little body is just a wonderful bonus," she smiled, trying to make Janet smile. "You do know how much I love you, right?"

Janet nodded slightly. "I hate that I brought him into your life," she whispered.

"And I hate what he's done to you," Sam said, kissing her tenderly. "But he's gone now. It's just us. Us and our beautiful daughter."

"And Angus," Janet tried to pull herself together.

"And Angus," Sam smiled. "And Cassie's grandma too, of course. That's all that matters." She pulled the blankets round Janet, so that she was swaddled in her arms. "Try and sleep for a bit," she looked at Janet's too-pale face. "Jus' for a couple of hours. Then we'll go down, get dinner."

"I love you," Janet said quietly, her face crumpling yet again as the nightmare of what David had done seared through her nerve endings yet again.

"Shh," Sam pulled her to her, cradling her lovingly. "It's okay, honey," she rocked her tenderly. "It's all over now." She smoothed the hair away from Janet's face, and watched her carefully as, slowly, the tension drained from her face, and she eventually fell to sleep. "We're all gonna be okay," Sam whispered.


	19. Chapter 19

"Hey Sharon," Janet smiled as her favorite nurse came on duty. "Is everything still okay for Saturday?"

"It sure is," Sharon grinned. "We're all really looking forward to it. Mikey can't wait."

"Well, it's not every day that a boy turns six, is it?" Janet smiled back. "So you'll take him out in the morning, so we can come in and assemble the trampoline we bought him without him knowing what's going on?"

"We thought we'd take both kids to the park," Sharon said. "Should Sam really be doing physical work like that yet, though? I'd hate her to hurt herself."

Janet's face clouded slightly. "She's insisting on doing it herself," she said. "I tried to suggest we get the guys to come over and help, and she got real snappy. Says she could do it standing on one leg, with one arm tied behind her back."

"How is she?" Sharon asked.

"She's not too bad," Janet said, sighing as she sat in a chair. "I think she's started to get a bit depressed, though. She _hates_ not being able to do some things that she used to do. I'm learning that it's best to let her do what she wants, not to fuss her. She's learning her limits. And she's trying so hard to be cheerful. I thought going back to work would help, at least when she's in her lab, she's distracted. But she hates it whenever the Stargate activates. It didn't help when the colonel and Daniel went through it yesterday, though she pretended she hadn't noticed."

"Are they replacing her on SG-1?" Sharon knew that she was mentioning a sensitive subject.

"Not yet," Janet shook her head. "And they say yesterday was just a one-off diplomatic visit. But they're gonna have to think about it soon. That's gonna be so hard for her," Janet looked close to tears.

"And for you too," Sharon intuited. "And what about the nightmares?" her voice was kind.

"Still bad," Janet said. "She tries so hard to brush them off. But I think they're pretty intense sometimes. I'm not sure how to help her. I just hold her."

Sharon put a warm hand on her arm. "And you?" she asked. "How are _your_ nightmares?"

Janet's head jerked up.

"Sam told me," Sharon said gently.

"I'm okay," Janet said. "And they're not as bad as Sam's. Or as frequent. She woke up screaming the other night."

"Do you think you should see someone?" Sharon suggested. "Maybe even together?"

Janet shook her head. "Sam doesn't want to," she said sadly. "Says she can't face that. We'll be fine," she tried to smile. "Both of us. It's just going to take a little time."

"Well you just let me know if there's anything I can do," Sharon told her. "C'mere," she pulled Janet out of the chair and into a warm hug. "You've done the hardest part. Both of you," she reminded her.

"Now we just have to learn to live with it," Janet tried to keep her voice even. "I can't bear that Sam's health has been compromised. Just because I married the wrong man."

"Sam would see that as a sacrifice worth making," Sharon said. "She told me that."

"Yeah," Janet said. "She told me too. She's amazing, Sharon," Janet said.

"So are you, Dr Fraiser," Sharon smiled. "Just ask Mikey. And Eliza. They both think you are wonderful."

Janet grinned. "They're great kids," she said. "Has Eliza said any more words yet?" Sharon and Cora's daughter was now 19 months old, and had just started to speak.

"Oh yes," Sharon smiled proudly. "She seems to learn so much every day. And she looks so much like Cora, Janet. She has her beautiful eyes."

"She's a beauty," Janet agreed.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"You can lean on me Sam," Cassie said, as she helped her assemble the trampoline in Sharon and Cora's back yard.

Sam shot her a grateful look, as she leant carefully against her while she tightened the bolt. Janet had tactfully withdrawn and was making coffee in their friends' kitchen. She had offered to help, but had seen the impatient look on Sam's face. She knew that Sam needed to do as much as she was able, and the trampoline had been Sam's idea right from the beginning. She knew letting her take charge outweighed the risk of a bit of pain later.

"There!" Sam grinned triumphantly. She kicked her shoes off.

"Sam!" Cassie cried. "No! Mom will kill you!"

"She'll have to catch me first," Sam said, as she levered herself onto the springy surface. She bounced up and down a few times, but stayed on her butt.

Cassie realized that Sam was just teasing Janet, and wasn't going to try and stand up. So she smiled when Janet emerged from the kitchen, bearing two mugs of coffee, and started. Janet knew what game Sam was playing, so she just gave a cool smile, and placed both mugs on the table. She then approached the trampoline, an evil grin on her face. Before Sam knew what was happening, Janet had leapt onto the trampoline, and was straddling her with both feet, effectively pinning her to the surface. "You wanna play dirty?" Janet said in a mock-serious tone. "Okay, then," she started, very gently, to bounce, her feet keeping Sam in place.

Sam squealed with laughter, joining in the fun. Suddenly she sat upright and grabbed both of Janet's legs, causing her to land on her butt on the trampoline in front of her. "You shouldn't take advantage of an invalid, doctor," Sam failed to keep the humor out of her voice.

Janet laughed, and tried to roll away, but Sam grabbed her again and rolled on top of her, pinning her to the fabric. She looked up, and saw Sam's grinning face. "Okay," she said, "I surrender."

"You surrender?" Sam's voice was teasing. "Completely?"

"Totally," Janet squirmed under her grasp, but Sam was too strong for her. "Utterly. Absolutely. Unconditionally."

"So I can do whatever I want with you?" Sam teased.

"Anything you want," Janet replied. "Anything at all," she looked deep into Sam's eyes.

Sam leant forward and kissed her softly.

Janet whimpered with pleasure. Sam kissed her again, more passionately this time.

"Anything," Janet sounded slightly breathless.

"Oh gross," Cassie's voice rang out. "Get a room, would you?"

Sam looked up, a wide smile on her face. "Blame your mom," she said. "She started it."

"And I'm gonna finish it," Janet whispered into Sam's ear, in such a seductive tone that Sam blushed. "Later. Much later."

Sam's heart skipped a beat. She kissed Janet again, tenderly. "I'll hold you to that," she whispered back. "Okay," her voice returned to normal. "Help me off this damned thing, Cass. Pass me that cane, would you?"

Cassie obliged, and Sam levered herself carefully back onto solid ground, followed by Janet.

"That's a car," Janet cocked her head as she listened intently. "They're back."

Sam smiled. "D'you think he'll like it?" she sounded slightly nervous.

"Are you kidding?" Janet replied. "What kid doesn't like trampolines? He'll love it," she said. "Right, Cass?"

"Oh yeah," Cassie said. "It's amazing."

They made their way into the living room through the garden door, just as the family came through the front door. Mikey saw Sam as he entered. "Captain Sam!" he cried, and flung himself towards her, wrapping his arms round her long legs.

Janet looked concerned that he might unbalance her lover, but saw with relief that Sam lowered herself into the chair nearby. "Mikey!" Sam said, putting her arms out. "Come give me a hug!" She smiled lovingly at Janet as Mikey climbed up to hug his hero. She knew Janet was looking out for her, but was grateful that she wasn't making a fuss.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam turned to Janet as they got into bed that night. "It was a great day, wasn't it?" she stroked Janet's face lovingly.

"It really was," Janet agreed. "Mikey's a great kid. They're a wonderful family."

"Thank you, Jan," Sam's voice was serious.

"For what?" Janet asked.

"For letting me do the trampoline," Sam replied. "I know you were just itching to help me. And I know it would have been done much faster if you had. But you left me to it."

Janet kissed her softly. "I know how important it is to you to do these things," she said. "I do know how difficult this all is for you, Sam," her voice was tender. "You're so used to doing everything yourself."

"It's hard," Sam admitted, for the first time. "I hate being an invalid."

"You're not an invalid," Janet told her. "But things are a little harder now. We have to keep talking, Sam. That's more important than anything. I know sometimes you get depressed."

Tears sprang to Sam's eyes. She tried so hard not to think about things. "I just can't believe that I'm no longer part of SG-1," she said.

"You are part of SG-1," Janet told her. "Remember what the colonel said?"

"Yeah, I know he said we'd always be a team. But it's not true, is it Jan? Sooner or later, they're gonna have to replace me. They've already been offworld without me. They went out with SG-8 yesterday. And earlier in the week."

"Just fact-finding," Janet reminded her.

"This time," a fat tear rolled down Sam's face. "But we have to face up to it. I'm never going back on active duty, am I?"

Janet looked away, and Sam grabbed her hand.

"Am I?" Sam demanded, a touch of sharpness in her voice.

Janet looked straight at her. "Probably not," she admitted. "I'm sorry, baby," her voice cracked. "But I can't clear you. You'd be putting yourself at risk."

"And I'd be a liability," Sam was furious to find herself coughing painfully again. "Damn it," she said, after the fit passed. "I can't even breathe properly!"

"Try to relax," Janet said gently. "It's worse when you're tense."

Sam nodded, her energy suddenly spent. "I'm sorry," she said in a quiet voice. "I shouldn't take it out on you. It's not fair."

"Sometimes life isn't fair," Janet said understandingly. She took Sam's face in both hands, brushing away the tears with her thumbs. "You love me, right?"

Sam nodded, tears spilling anew onto Janet's fingers. "More than I have ever loved anybody. Or anything. I can do anything, if just you're with me."

"I'll always be with you, baby," Janet said emotionally. "Wherever you are. Whatever you do. I love you so much. You have such a beautiful soul," she whispered.

"It doesn't feel very beautiful right now," Sam admitted. "I hate that I have all these negative thoughts."

"It'll get better," Janet promised. "And I'll be with you."

Sam kissed her. "Well that's all that matters," her voice was small. "Truly. I'm sorry, Jan," she said. She kissed her again. "You are all that I need."

"Right back at ya," Janet said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Hey doc," O'Neill poked his head round the door to Janet's office a few days later. "Got a minute?"

Janet smiled at him. "For you, always," she said with real warmth. "Want me to find some big needles?" she teased him.

He clutched his hands protectively to his butt, and grinned. "Not this time, doc," he said, as he lowered himself into the chair facing Janet.

"What can I do for you colonel?" Janet asked.

"I wanted to talk to you about Carter," he said, his demeanor unusually serious.

"Sir?" Janet's blood ran cold. If this was him coming to tell her that they were replacing Sam, she didn't know what she would do. She didn't know how she would tell her.

"It's nothing bad," O'Neill saw the sudden change in her expression. "I swear." He saw her relax marginally. "I just wanted your opinion," he said. "Carter, how is she?"

"She's good," Janet said cautiously. "Considering what her body has been through. And she's trying so hard to be positive about it."

"But she's having a hard time, right?" O'Neill pushed.

"Yeah, if I'm honest," Janet said sadly. "You know Sam. She's so capable. Energetic. She hates watching it all going on around her."

"SG-1's not the same without her," O'Neill said. "The team doesn't work without her there."

"So you need to replace her," Janet prompted. "I know. She knows. She'll understand. It'll be tough for her, but she'll understand."

"You think that's why I'm here?" O'Neill asked.

"Isn't it?" Janet looked him square in the eye. "Look, Sir, I understand. You can't wait for ever. Sam will..."

"DOC!" O'Neill almost shouted. "That is absolutely the last thing on my mind. Truly. No, it's not that at all. I swear. In fact, I think what I want to talk to you about could be good for Carter. It could be great. I wanted to get your opinion before we go any further though."

"Sir?" Janet was intrigued.

"The diplomatic mission we went on two days ago. And last week. You heard about it?" O'Neill asked.

"Yes," Janet said. "I thought it was a fact-finding trip."

"It was," O'Neill said. "We wanted to find out if they'd let us use their sarcophagus. What they'd want from us to let us take it for a few days. Whether they were people we'd wanna deal with. What Hammond would have to agree to."

Janet's heart skipped a beat. "Sarcophagus?" she whispered. "You mean... Sam?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean. It went well, Janet," O'Neill smiled fondly at the small doctor. "They're good people. They hardly use it themselves. Only in absolute emergencies. They know all about its addictive properties. How it can turn people bad. They rescued it from an abandoned Goa'uld planet. And they want us to help them use their naqadah deposits to make generators. Carter could show 'em that in a heartbeat. Assuming she gets clearance to go on active duty again, that is. What do you think, doc? It would work on her, right?"

A tear escaped from the corner of Janet's eye, and trickled unnoticed down her cheek. "Yeah," she said eventually, her voice cracking with emotion. "I mean, I'd need to check a few things first. I should talk to Teal'c. And it would likely take two or three sessions, from what I know of the technology. We'd have to warn Sam she'd likely suffer some sort of minor withdrawal. But that would be minor. And as long as she only uses it this once, I guess it would work. Oh my God," she realized the enormity of what they were being offered. "I need to talk to Teal'c. I don't want to say anything to Sam before we can be sure. Oh Sir, this is amazing. Has General Hammond agreed?"

"It was his suggestion," O'Neill smiled. "He hates seeing Sam like this. Teal'c's away overnight, doc, he's on the planet. But he's back tomorrow morning. Looks like you'll just have to keep this to yourself until he's back. But it looks good, right?" his hopeful face tugged at Janet's heart strings. He cared so much about Sam, and was so excited at the possibility of a full return to health for her.

"It does, Sir," Janet smiled. "Thank you. So much."

"Don't thank me," he said gruffly. "I just need Carter back, I'm missing her scientific flatulence."

Janet smiled.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam was tired and depressed that evening. Janet tried her hardest to be light and cheerful, but for once she just couldn't get through. She persuaded Sam to relax on the couch with her after dinner, but even there, Sam was restless and antsy. Finally, at just after 9pm, Sam sat up. "I think I'm gonna hit the hay," she said to Janet.

"Okay, sweetie," Janet tried to keep her tone light. She hated seeing Sam so down. "I'll be up soon, huh?"

"Okay," Sam turned toward the door, leaning more heavily than usual on her cane. She stopped as she reached the doorway, and turned to face Janet. "I'm sorry, baby," she said in a small voice. "It's just..."

"A bad day," Janet finished for her, in a gentle voice. She went over to her and put her hand on Sam's arm. "I know, honey. Some days are worse than others. You don't have to explain. You should get some sleep. Things will look better in the morning."

Sam nodded, her emotions at breaking point. "I do love you, she whispered. "Always. Whatever happens, I'll never stop loving you."

Janet kissed her very softly on the lips. "I know that, Sam. I always have. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You're amazing. Just as you are. I'll be up in an hour or so. I think you need a little space to yourself. Want me to sleep in the spare room? I don't mind. Truly."

Sam shook her head vehemently. "No," she said firmly. "I need you with me."

"I'll be there later then, baby," Janet said, running her hand through Sam's thick hair.

"G'night," Sam said wearily.

Janet slid in under the covers two hours later. Sam was asleep, her head half under the pillow. Janet could still see that she had been crying. She tried to move without disturbing her lover, but even in her sleep, Sam detected the movement on the mattress. Without waking, she flung an arm round Janet and pulled her to her, snuggling into her front. Janet petted the top of her head, murmuring soothingly to her. In minutes, Sam was still again.

Janet was brought awake by Sam's thrashing legs and cries of anguish. "No!" Sam gasped, clearly in the throes of a terrible nightmare. "No! Janet. Don't touch her. Leave her. Take me," her breathing became more panicked. She started to cough. "No. Let me out. Water. Oh God," her words became almost incoherent, as she tried desperately to speak as her chest convulsed. "Can't breathe. Drowning. Janet!" she screamed as she sat bolt upright, waking herself with a start. She clutched hysterically at Janet's t-shirt, the panic overwhelming her. She couldn't breathe. She felt Janet's hands on her, trying to calm her down. She relaxed marginally knowing Janet was there, but still couldn't force oxygen into her lungs.

"Sam," Janet tried to remain calm. "Shh, honey. You had a bad dream," she reached over to the nightstand, and grabbed the nebulizer that Sam hated so much, switching it on with practiced ease. "No, baby, don't fight it. Please, Sam," Janet's tone was urgent as Sam fought blindly against the apparatus. "Listen to me, honey," her voice was authoritative. "Let me put this on you," Sam stilled somewhat in her arms. "That's it baby, you're doin' good. There, that's it, good," she held the mask over Sam's face. Sam's eyes opened and she looked up fearfully at Janet. "That's it, baby," Janet soothed. "Just a few more minutes. That feels better, huh?" she could see the panic start to leach away from her lover. "Just take it slow. You haven't done this for a while. Nearly three weeks. You're making progress, honey. I know it doesn't feel that way right now. But you are. There you go. That's good," Janet kissed her on her sweat-soaked brow, cupping her cheek tenderly. "That's it, Sam. It's nearly over now. You're gonna be okay honey."

After almost ten minutes, Janet judged it safe to remove the nebulizer from Sam's face. She reached over and replaced it on the nightstand. Still cradling Sam in one arm, she reached into the drawer and drew out a large cotton handkerchief, which she used to wipe the sweat from Sam's brow and upper chest. "There, that's better, huh?" she kept up a soothing running commentary. Sam started to shake in her arms, so she drew the thick blankets round her.

"Oh honey, I know it was awful," Janet said.

"Feel sick," Sam whispered. "Oh God, Janet. I hate this. I hate it," she tightened her grip on Janet's shirt, and started to cry. "I get so scared. I keep seeing him. He's there, and he's standing over you, and..."

"Shh," Janet said. "He's gone, baby. For ever this time. He's never going to hurt either of us again."

"I don't think I can do this for much longer," Sam's sobs were becoming hysterical. "I need to be able to protect you. I'm a wreck Jan. I'll never... I'll always be... I'm so weak and useless. I just..." her breathing quickened again, and panic started to set in.

"Sam!" Janet's tone was firm. "Just concentrate on breathing. Try and stay calm. We'll fix this, honey. We will."

"You can't!" Sam angrily tried to pull away from Janet, but in her weakened state could only struggle helplessly in her lover's arms.

"Sam!" Janet said again. "I need you to listen to me. Real close. Please honey. Just listen for two minutes."

Sam stilled again, and looked up at Janet, her expression anguished.

"I wasn't going to tell you this. Not until I got a chance to talk to Teal'c," Janet said. "But you need to hear it now. They've found a sarcophagus, Sam. We still need to finalize the details. And I want to make sure we know all about the side effects. But it looks like we're gonna be able to fix you, baby. Properly. You'll be back to your old self. No bad leg. No crappy lungs. Nothing."

Sam stared unbelieving at Janet. "How?" she croaked finally.

"That fact-finding missions the guys went on with SG-8. They weren't working out how to work without you. They were looking for a way to get you back in action. They miss you baby. They need you back," Janet realized that tears were running down her own face.

Sam reached up with a shaky hand and cupped Janet's cheek.

"There will likely be problems," Janet warned. "You may get some sort of withdrawal. I don't know how many sessions you might need. You'll likely feel kinda stoned. Hey," she smiled, "it'll be like being back at college all over again."

Sam smiled weakly. "Never did drugs," her voice shook.

Janet smiled. "Neither did I. I was trying to sound cool."

"You are cool," Sam said. "The coolest. The best."

Janet kissed her tenderly.


	20. Chapter 20

"So?" Sam demanded when O'Neill finally arrived at her lab. She and Janet were waiting impatiently to learn the outcome of his negotiations.

"Hello to you, too, Carter," O'Neill had a wide grin on his face.

"Sorry," Sam smiled, shamefacedly. "I was rude."

"We're just worried," Janet interjected, worriedly.

"Well you don't have to worry any more, doc," O'Neill said, his voice full of understanding. "We did it. Well, there are conditions. There are always conditions," he pulled a face. "We get it, next Thursday, for seven hours."

"Only seven hours?" Janet looked disappointed.

"That's great, Sir," Sam said, at the same time. "Seven hours is more than enough, huh, Jan?"

Janet smiled. "Yeah," she said. "I'd have liked it for longer. That way, if you need to go in it more than once, which we think is likely, you'd have more time to recover in-between."

"But it's still okay?" Sam asked, more sharply than she intended.

"Yes, Sam," Janet smiled. "It'll still be okay, I'm sure. You might just get more 'stoned' than I would like. "But we can handle that, can't we?"

Sam smiled brightly. "Of course," she said. "Whatever it takes. Oh my God," realization dawned. "It's really happening then. In, what, six days, I could be fixed. I could get my career back."

"You never lost your career, Carter," O'Neill said in a gentle voice. "And you never would have."

"I know that, Sir. And I appreciate it. Truly I do. But now I can rejoin SG-1. I can go on missions. I can be a full member of the team again."

"You never left SG-1," O'Neill's tone was firm. He smiled affectionately. "And now you never will," he couldn't remember when he had had such good news. He looked at his watch. "Go home, Carter," he said. "Go celebrate with your family. You too, doc. Give my love to Cassie."

"Cassie!" Sam realized. "I gotta call her. I promised I would, as soon as we knew." She picked up the phone.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet pulled up in the driveway of their house, and saw Cassie and Ella on the doorstep, Angus standing protectively between them. Cassie ran to the car, and wrenched the door open, flinging herself at Sam. "Is it true?" she demanded, as she hugged her tightly. "Are you really gonna be okay?"

Sam hugged her back, rocking her from side to side. "It's true, Cass," she said, again and again. "It's all gonna be okay. They're gonna fix me."

Eventually Cassie released her hold on Sam, and allowed her to get out of the car. Ella was holding a wriggling Angus in her arms. "Somebody else wants you to know how pleased he is," she smiled, leaning over and kissing Sam on the cheek. "I'm so pleased, Samantha," she said in a serious voice. "You and Janet have had a terrible time recently. It's so wonderful to hear good news."

Sam smiled. "Thanks, Ella," she said, putting a hand on the old lady's arm. "And hello to you too," she grinned at Angus. "Okay, boy, c'm'ere," she took him in one arm, and allowed him to slobber enthusiastically all over her. "I was gonna take a shower anyway," she grimaced. She kissed him on the top of his head and lowered him to the ground. "Well," she said, "I think we should all get changed. I'm gonna take us all out to celebrate. You too, Ella," she could see her elderly friend about to demur. "We need the whole family there. No arguments. You can choose the restaurant, Cass," she grinned at Janet looked at her aghast. "No pizza, though," she amended, and winked at her lover.

"O'Malley's!" Cassie shouted. "We can have steak!"

"Great idea, Cassie," Janet spoke at last. She pulled her daughter into a warm hug. "We'll leave in 30 minutes."

Cassie looked up at her, and saw her eyes glittering. "Are you okay, Mom?" she asked, sounding worried.

"I'm great, Cass," Janet replied, with feeling. "I don't think I've ever felt better."

"It's good news, isn't it Mom?" Cassie said.

"The best," Janet replied. She reached over and took Sam's hand, and they walked slowly into the house together.

"You won't have to hold my hand any more, or use your cane. Not after next week," Janet smiled up at Sam.

Sam mock-pouted. "I'll still want to hold your hand," she said softly.

Janet smiled again.

"Jan?" Sam asked.

"Yes, honey?" Janet replied.

"Will you wear that red shirt?" Sam asked. "To the restaurant, I mean."

Janet grinned. She knew that Sam loved her in the shirt that was ever-so-slightly too small for her. "On one condition," she replied.

"Anything," Sam said.

"You wear your leather jacket. You look so hot in that, baby," she whispered in her ear.

Sam smiled widely. "Just so long as you leave your two top buttons undone," she bargained. "Hey," she remembered. "It's Saturday tomorrow. We can sleep late." Ever since Ella had become part of their family, she had insisted on cooking Cassie breakfast on Saturday, and then going for a walk with her and Angus, so that Sam and Janet could have a lie-in.

Janet smiled. "I wasn't planning on getting much sleep tonight," her tone was sultry.

Sam's mouth went dry. She kissed Janet tenderly. "Tonight," she whispered, just as Cassie came banging into the house, followed by Angus.

"I can't wait," Janet said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet traced her hand down the side of Sam's face. "You are so precious," she whispered.

"Right back at ya, Jan," Sam smiled. "Wanna go again?"

"Again?" Janet asked. "Sam, it's nearly 3am," she peered myopically at the clock on the nightstand.

"So?" Sam grinned. "Cassie'll be at Ella's until at least 11am. We've got all the time in the world, baby."

Janet smiled back. "So we have," she mused. "Well," she grinned, "in that case..." she kissed her lover langorously.

It was just after 5am that Sam and Janet finally fell to sleep, in a tangle of sweaty limbs.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

At 8.30am, Sam sat up blearily when she heard a knock on the door, and Cassie's customary holler, "I'm goin' to Grandma's. See you later. Love you."

"Love you too," Sam called back, feeling immediately guilty as she felt Janet stir in her arms. "Shh," she whispered. "Go back to sleep, baby," she kissed her softly.

Janet sat up slowly. "I've just remembered," she said ruefully. "I told Cass I'd bake her some cookies to take to school on Monday. It's Lauren's birthday," she reminded Sam, referring to one of Cassie's best friends.

"Make 'em later," Sam said.

"Can't," Janet said. "I've got to go to the market. And do the laundry. And we're out all day tomorrow, remember honey?"

Sam grinned. "Oh yeah," she said. "Daniel's barbecue. I hope he doesn't let the colonel cook," she thought back to the beer-marinaded steak she had had to abandon the last time O'Neill had been let loose in the kitchen.

"So I should start them soon," Janet blinked. "I'll get us some coffee first, that'll help to wake us up."

"I'm sorry," Sam said. "I didn't realize. I would never have kept you up so long."

Janet grinned wickedly. She took Sam's face in both hands. "It was worth it, my darling," she said, her voice softening. "Every second. Last night was amazing," she turned away so that Sam didn't see her blush.

Sam smiled widely. "It _was_ good, huh?" she agreed. "I can't wait until I'm all fixed. Then," she tried to contain her glee, "you won't know what's hit you!"

"I can't wait," Janet's voice was sultry. She kissed Sam again, finally drawing away with a giggle. "Coffee!" she declared. "Wait there," she hopped out of the bed and headed for the door.

"Jan?" Sam tried not to smirk.

"Yeah?" Janet turned as she reached the door.

"Robe," Sam suggested. "Don't misunderstand me, baby. You've never looked better. But I'm not sure I want to be sharing you with the mailman and anybody else who looks in the window."

Janet grinned, grabbing her robe from the back of the door, and donning it insouciantly as she sashayed through the door.

Twenty minutes later, Sam started to wonder whether Janet was coming back. She could smell the coffee as the aroma drifted up the stairs, but there was no sign of her lover. She climbed off the bed, trying not to wince as her bad leg hit the floor, and wandered over to the bedroom window. She looked out, and was concerned to see Janet sitting on the second step between the deck and the grass, her head in her hands. Sam peered more closely and saw that there was some sort of letter in her hand. She must have had some bad news in the mail, Sam concluded.

Reaching out for her hated cane, and grabbing her own robe, Sam set off to check on Janet. "Jan?" she called gently as she stepped into the yard. Janet did not reply, so Sam approached her quietly. Without speaking, Sam lowered herself onto the deck behind Janet, putting one leg either side of her lover who was on the step below. Tenderly, from behind, she put her arms round her small form. She could feel Janet's tense body relax marginally at the touch, so she pulled her gently to her, so that Janet was effectively nestled in her lap. "Is this okay?" Sam asked in a soft voice.

Janet nodded. "Yeah," she gulped after a few moments, her hand still clutching the letter.

Sam kissed her on the top of her head. She rocked her lovingly.

"I'm sorry," Janet whispered after a few minutes.

"Don't be sorry," Sam told her. "It's okay. Can I just hold you for a while?"

Janet nodded again. "Please," she said, whimpering slightly as Sam tightened her hold on her. The tears that she had been trying to hold back started to fall. "Oh God, Sam," she said in a tiny voice. "Never let me go."

"I never will," Sam promised. "Even when I'm not with you, I'll always be with you. I swear."

"I know that," Janet said hoarsely. "Thank God for you."

Sam just held Janet tight as she wept. She didn't know what had happened to make her so miserable. She just knew that she would do anything she could to make it better. She whispered gently to her, rubbing her back, dropping kisses on her head and neck. After an interminable fifteen minutes, Janet's weeping eventually stopped.

Janet turned slightly in Sam's embrace, so that she was sideways to her lover. She draped her arms over Sam's left leg, and lay her head on her arms. She looked up at Sam's face, and was almost moved to tears once more at the look of love and concern in her face.

"Wanna talk about it?" Sam finally asked.

"It's this," Janet passed her the crumpled piece of paper that she still clutched in her hand. "I don't want it Sam. None of it. I don't want him..." she started to weep again.

Sam took the paper carefully from Janet, and read it swiftly. "My God," she said.

"Yeah," Janet replied. "He's left me everything. And it's a lot. With the house, and his insurance, I stand to get nearly $1.2 million. I don't want it," she reiterated. "I don't want that bastard to have anything to do with us. I don't want his money. Any of it," her voice cracked again. "He's still trying to control me. Even from the grave."

"Oh honey," Sam reached down and wiped the tears from her face, and then kissed her tenderly on the mouth. "You don't have to take it. We don't need his money."

Janet looked up at her, fear in her eyes. "No?" she asked. "What about Cassie?"

"What about her, baby?" Sam asked gently. "What does she have to do with this?"

"She'd be secure for life," Janet said. "If I take his money. We could buy her an apartment. Pay for her college. Let her travel the world."

"She's twelve," Sam said, trying to lessen the tension with humor. "She doesn't need an apartment."

Janet looked up at Sam, wondering if she'd gone mad. She saw the expression on Sam's face, and realized it was a joke. She let out a bark of laughter. "I'm sorry," she gave a small smile. "I guess I'm being dumb."

Sam kissed her again. "No," she said quietly. "You're not being dumb. I understand how you feel. You're conflicted. If you take this, Cassie need never worry about money. She'll always be safe."

Janet nodded.

"But she'll be safe anyway," Sam's voice was gentle and loving. "We'll take care of her. We're both earning. We can pay for her college. She'll always be okay. Because we'll make sure of it. And if we have any more children, they'll be okay too. And there's much more to life than money. There's love, Jan. You have shown me more love than I knew was possible. And Cass."

"If we take this money, we'll be rich," Janet sniffed.

"We are rich, baby," Sam said. "In every way that counts. Truly, Jan, my life couldn't be better. And Cassie's a different girl from when we brought her back. That's due to you, sweetie."

"And you," Janet said quietly.

"I have an idea," Sam said. "Cassie's real mature, wouldn't you say?"

Janet nodded.

"Let's ask her what she wants. If she wants to take the money, then we'll put it into a trust for her. Then we never have to worry that we've made the wrong decision for her."

"You think?" Janet asked. "You don't think that's putting too much on her?"

"She can handle it," Sam said confidently. "I know it."

"I love you," Janet said.

"Okay, then," Sam grinned. "We've got us some cookies to bake."

"We?" Janet looked astounded. "Come on Sam, when was the last time you were in a kitchen? For anything more than a soda or a coffee?"

Sam grinned, and got carefully to her feet, leaning heavily on her cane. She put out one hand and helped Janet to stand. "You're in charge," she said. "But I'm gonna be your assistant. You have to tell me what to do."

"I know what you can do," Janet smiled back at her. You can make fresh coffee. That pot'll be stewed to hell by now."

Sam grinned. "I can do coffee," she said confidently.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"So you understand what we're saying?" Sam's voice was gentle. Cassie sat on the couch between her and Janet.

"Yeah, I think so. He was your husband, wasn't he Mom?" she asked her mother directly, for the first time.

"He was, Cass," Janet said. "Before I met Sam."

"And he was mean to you, wasn't he?" Cassie persisted.

Janet nodded. "Yeah, he was."

"And then he tried to kill Sam. Even though Sam was nothing to do with you leaving him?" Cassie wanted clarification on every point.

Janet nodded, not speaking this time.

"And it's his fault that Sam is still sick?" Cassie asked.

"I'm not sick any more," Sam said quietly.

"Yes you are," Cassie stated firmly. "You still have trouble breathing. I hear you sometimes Sam. It hurts real bad sometimes. And your leg does too."

"I'll be fixed next week," Sam reminded her.

"Well I don't want his money. None of it," Cassie said. "I don't want anything to do with him. He was a terrible man. I know we should be sorry when people die. But I'm not sorry. I hate him. I hate him for what he's done to Sam. And for being mean to you Mom."

"But if we take his money, you can buy an apartment when you're older. Travel the world. Do anything you want to," Janet wanted Cassie to be sure what she was turning down.

"I can do that anyway," Cassie retorted. "I'm gonna get me a good job. I can earn my own money. My teachers say I'm smart."

"Oh we know you're smart, sweetie," Sam squeezed her shoulders. "Real smart. When you're older, you can do anything you want."

"Well I want to earn my own money," Cassie was decided. "And I don't want any of his."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"You sure you want to do this?" Sam asked Janet, as they got out of the car.

Janet nodded resolutely. She looked up above her head, and read the sign. "Women's Refuge," it said.

"Okay then," Sam took her hand, and they went into the office together.

The girl behind the desk looked up and smiled. "Can I help you?" she asked brightly.

"I used to be in an abusive relationship," Janet said. "It's over now. Now I'm in a better relationship than I ever imagined was possible. But I want to help others. We want to help others. We have a donation we'd like to make," she reached into her purse and pulled out a check, which she passed over to the girl. She could feel Sam's hand in her own. She looked up at her and smiled.


	21. Chapter 21

"Why would you want to change your vacation?" Janet asked Sharon.

"It starts Wednesday," Sharon said.

"So?" Janet asked.

"I want to be here for you. And Sam. In case you need me. The sarcophagus," she said pointedly. "On Thursday."

"No way," Janet said. "You are not missing your vacation. We'll be fine. Both of us," she said firmly. "Teal'c has told us what to expect in the way of side-effects, withdrawal and all that. It's not dangerous, Sharon," she said. "And you need your vacation. But thank you," she smiled. "You are so kind. We'll give you a call when it's all over, let you know how it went. But no, I won't sanction a change at this late stage," she grinned.

"Control freak," Sharon muttered, laughter in her voice. "I'm real excited for you both," she said warmly. "I know Sam hates it, not being able to do what she wants."

"She sure does," Janet said. "Though she tries so hard not to show it. Keeps telling me that she's happy, as long as Cassie and I are okay. Says that's all that matters."

"Your family," Sharon mused. "God, Janet. Think back to how things were two years ago. You had only just left him. Now you have a whole new family."

"He's still trying to control us from the grave," Janet shivered at the remembrance of the money David Richmond had left to her in his will.

"Well he's not succeeding," Sharon pointed out. "You gave his money away. And in a few days Sam's injuries will be healed."

"Yeah," Janet brightened at the thought. "So," she changed the subject. "Are you going away somewhere? On your vacation?"

"We're taking the kids camping for a few days," Sharon said. "And after that...," she smiled shyly, "we're gonna... that is, we've booked to... we were talking, Cora and I. And she's 37 next birthday. And we both wanna have more kids," she grinned, knowing she was rambling.

Janet smiled widely, guessing what was coming next. "And?" she demanded excitedly.

"We're gonna try for another baby," Sharon couldn't keep the excitement out of her voice. "So we've got appointments booked with the clinic. We decided that 'cos Cora's nearly six years older than I am that she should have the next one."

"The next one?" Janet laughed. "Just how many kids are you planning on?"

"We want at least four," Sharon said. "We're both only children, and we hate that. We want a big family. I'm sorry, Janet, I know I'm being insensitive," she didn't want to remind Janet that she couldn't have children herself.

"Don't talk crazy!" Janet flung her arms round her friend, hugging her tight. "I think that's wonderful. "You're such great parents. Both of you. I'm so happy for you. Can I tell Sam?"

"She already did," Sam walked into the living room, having retrieved a bag from the garage. "While you were making coffee. I think it's just great," she smiled. "Here," she passed the bag to Sharon. "Camping stove, pots, utensils, the lot. And you can tell Mikey from me that if he goes anywhere near that stove when it's hot, I'll have him court-martialed!" she winked.

"Thanks, Sam," Sharon smiled back. "He'll behave now he's been told to by 'Captain Sam'! I swear," she looked over at Janet, "if Sam told him to wrestle with an alligator, he'd do it. And he'd believe he'd be okay. He thinks you know everything, Sam," she said.

"Told you that kid's smart," Sam grinned. "Hear that Jan? I'm omniscient!"

"Whatever you say, hon," Janet replied mildly. "Tell me, though, does your expertise stretch to risotto? Because I could do with some help in the kitchen tonight...," she grinned evilly as Sam tried to swat her.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Is this really necessary?" Sam was getting a little testy.

"I think it's worth doing," Janet said, keeping her voice even. She knew that Sam was concerned, and that her worry was making her antsy. "I just think, if you do get paranoid, you can watch the recording. And if you see you telling you that it's all okay, you're gonna be more likely to believe it."

Sam looked doubtful.

"For me?" Janet decided to play dirty. "I want to be able to help you, baby, if you go through withdrawal. In any way I can. But you might not believe me if it's bad. You're more likely to believe you."

"I'll always believe you," Sam's voice was tender and loving. "I'm sorry, baby. This is happening to you too, I do know that. I just feel kinda dumb. Sitting in here, in front of a camera, telling myself what we're doing. But there are worse things than looking dumb, I know," she smiled. "Okay, here goes nothin'," she switched on the camera.

"Hi there!" she said to the camera lens. "This is a message for... well, me, I guess."

Fifteen minutes, Janet switched the camera off. "Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?" she kissed Sam softly. "Thank you, sweetie," she said. "I'm so pleased you did that. D'you think you could load it on to your laptop now? And password it too, huh? And don't tell anyone the password, not even me. You'll find it easier to believe if you know I haven't been able to touch the file."

"I still can't imagine not being able to trust you," Sam sounded doubtful. "I trust you with my life, Jan."

"I'll always love you honey," Janet reminded her. "Remember that. Always remember."

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

"Oh please, not a gown?" Sam protested. "C'mon, Jan, why do I have to show my butt to everybody? Just how is that going to help?"

"You've got scrubs pants too, honey," Janet said mildly. "You don't have to show your butt to anyone. Except maybe me later," she smiled. "If you want to, that is. It's better that you aren't wearing your uniform for this, hon. I want to be able to give you an MRI after each session, so's we can determine just how well it's working. I know, baby, you hate dressing like a patient. But if this works... when this works, you won't have to be a patient any more."

Sam opened her mouth to protest further, and shut it again. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm being a bitch to everybody this morning. It's just... this is huge, isn't it, Jan? What if it doesn't work? What if the side effects change my personality? I couldn't bear it if I hurt you, honey," she took a deep, steadying breath. "I'm scared, Janet," she said in a small voice, hating to admit her weakness.

"Of course you're scared, sweetie," Janet's voice was tender. "So am I. But you're gonna be fine. We both are. And I swear, if the side effects make you say things you don't mean, I won't take it personally. In a few days, you'll be right back to your old self. I just need you to trust me for the next little while, can you do that, hon?" she peered anxiously into Sam's limpid eyes.

Sam nodded.

"Okay, then, let's get you changed," Janet started to unbutton Sam's shirt.

Sam put a gentle restraining hand over Janet's. "You won't leave me alone?" her voice was small and frightened. "You swear?"

"I'll be there every minute," Janet promised.

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

"You go, Carter," O'Neill gave his 2IC a warm hug as she stepped through the door to the private room of the infirmary, where the sarcophagus was temporarily housed.

"Thank you, Sir," Sam's tried to make her voice strong and confident. Only Janet knew how she was really feeling."

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

Janet was peering down as the lid to the sarcophagus slid open after the first sesssion. She smiled as she saw Sam's grinning face. "Hey, honey, how are you doin'?"

"Great," Sam replied, as she climbed out easily. "Really great."

"Well let's take a look at you," Janet pointed to the bed just next to the sarcophagus.

Nearly an hour later, Janet had established that Sam's lungs were now seemingly completely healed, and that there had been huge progress on her injured leg. "This is incredible," she called to Sam, who came and looked over her shoulder at the computer screen. "See here?" she pointed. "It's almost like the pins and plates in your leg are becoming part of the bone."

"It feels so much better," Sam flexed the limb enthusiastically.

"You ready for another session?" Janet asked Sam. "It looks to me like it's working great. It seems a shame to stop before it's all fixed."

"Lead on!" Sam's eyes twinkled mischievously.

"You're okay, though, right?" Janet queried. "Not feeling wasted or anything?"

Sam shook her head. "Never felt better," she said smugly. "No side-effects."

"That may be a side-effect in itself," Janet warned. "But all your vitals are stable."

In the event, Sam went into the sarcophagus a total of four times.

"You up for a short debrief?" O'Neill asked Janet after Sam had emerged from the MRI scanner for the fourth time. "Both of you?"

"Five minutes?" Janet asked. "I just want to check a few things."

O'Neill nodded.

Janet led Sam to the bed again, and checked her pulse and blood pressure. "So," she said quietly to Sam. "Do you think you're okay to debrief? You're feeling okay."

"I feel on top of the world," Sam replied, standing up and taking Janet in her arms, kissing her passionately. "I can't remember when I felt this good. Come to think of it," she grinned as she let her hand wander over Janet's torso. "I don't remember when you felt this good," she kissed her again.

"Sam!" Janet scolded. "I know you're kind of wound-up. But not until we get to our quarters, huh?"

Sam pouted comically. "Yes, doc," she saluted, trying to keep the smile off her face.

"Okay, then," Janet replied. "Let's get to the briefing room. And Sam," she had noticed her lover staring.

"Yeah?" Sam replied.

"You gotta stop staring at my boobs," Janet grinned. "You're not being very subtle."

Sam snorted with laughter. "Oh God," she said, her voice cracking with mirth. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was doing that. I was though, huh?" she mused.

"You were," Janet tried to sound stern.

"I think I've discovered a new side-effect," Sam smiled. "I don't think I've ever felt quite so... libidinous!" she laughed at the use of the word. Ever since Janet had used it to describe the men on the base when Hathor visited, the word had become something of a running joke between the two of them.

"Well you have to control yourself for just a bit longer," Janet told her. "Remember, sweetie, there are cameras almost everywhere."

"Not in our quarters though," Sam said.

"No," Janet agreed with a smile. "Not there."

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

"It's like a miracle," Janet handed the scans to General Hammond. "There's no sign of the original injury. Or, amazingly, even of the plates and screws that were put in. It's as if Sam's body has reabsorbed them."

"And how are you feeling Captain Carter?" Hammond asked.

"I feel great, Sir," Sam replied. "Truly. My leg doesn't hurt at all. And my lungs are real good. I don't have to worry any more when I take a deep breath."

General Hammond smiled widely. "Well, it looks like we have a full-scale success. Captain, I understand that there's a good chance of side-effects as you withdraw from the effects of the sarcophagus, isn't that right Dr Fraiser?"

"Yes, Sir," Janet replied. "Teal'c has given me as much information as he can. I believe we can expect Sam to experience agitation, paranoia, sweats, chills and possibly nausea. Each case is different, Teal'c says. And Sam, I mean Captain Carter, has had concentrated exposure to the effects of the sarcophagus. I recommend that she be confined to her quarters for the next few days at least, and that I stay with her to ensure her safety. I also believe guards should be posted outside the door. Just in case," she saw the look of shock on Sam's face.

Sam looked as though she was about to object, but then she nodded. "I'll do whatever Janet recommends," she said. "For as long as she deems necessary."

General Hammond smiled. "It's good to see you looking so well, Captain," he said. "Let's just hope the next few days go well for you. Colonel," he addressed O'Neill. "Will you arrange for the return of the sarcophagus?"

"Already in hand, Sir," O'Neill smiled.

"Sam!" Janet hissed as they left the briefing room. "Eyes north!"

Sam tried not to smirk as she schooled her expression to neutral. "Sorry," she whispered.

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

Janet opened the door to their quarters and held it open as Sam walked through. "Only take orders from me, until I tell you otherwise," she told the airmen at the door.

She followed Sam inside, shutting the door behind her.

As she heard the door click shut, Sam turned to face her lover, a wide smile on her face. "Hey," she whispered softly to Janet, approaching her and cupping her face between both hands. "Hey beautiful," she kissed her tenderly on the mouth. "Oh God, Janet. It was so weird. In the sarcophagus. I was only half-awake. But all I could think about was you. I kept seeing your face. I've never seen anything... anyone... nothing... ever... as beautiful as you. I love you so much, Janet." She kissed her again, slowly, delicately, savoring every second of the sensation.

"I love you too, Sam," Janet was slightly breathless. "Are you feeling okay, baby?"

"Don't fuss," Sam said. "I feel fantastic. I want to show you how great I feel," for the first time since her accident, Sam lifted Janet in her arms and carried her over to the bed, laying her down carefully. "Can I make love to you Jan?" she asked.

"I think I'll explode if you don't," Janet's voice cracked. She reached up, and pulled Sam's gown over her head, throwing it to the floor. "Hey," she whispered, as she traced Sam's abdomen. "It's gone. That small scar you had. Your skin is flawless."

Sam reached out impatiently to help Janet out of her uniform shirt, fumbling impatiently with her tie. Eventually she managed to undo all the buttons and pulled the shirt out of Janet's waistband, sliding it down her arms.

Janet saw the expression on Sam's face. "You can look now, baby," she smiled, "there's nobody watching now."

Sam kissed Janet again, working her way down her long neck. She pulled back slightly, and traced her fingers across the small scar that had been left when Janet was shot during Hathor's invasion. "Does this hurt, baby?" she asked her gently.

"Not a bit," Janet told her.

"Hey," Sam had a sudden thought. "You should try the sarcophagus. That'd get rid of that scar right off. And you'd enjoy it too, honey. It's the most incredible feeling. That's such a good idea," she became more animated. "Where's the phone? I wanna call the colonel. They may not have sent it back yet."

"Whoa," Janet took her hand. "Let's not get over-excited about this. That's not what the sarcophagus is for, is it Sam?" she kept her voice even.

"What do you mean?" Sam became more strident. "That's exactly the sort of thing that we could fix in the sarcophagus in seconds. I should talk to the colonel. Hey," her thoughts became more feverish. "Maybe we should be thinking about not returning it at all? I mean, can you imagine the good you could do with that thing, just here, in your infirmary? You know, I don't think General Hammond has really thought this thing through."

"Sam!" Janet's tone was harsh. "Stop it. The sarcophagus was just on loan. And they only got it because you are SO important to the program. To everybody here. There's never been any suggestion that we could use it for anything else. Certainly not to satisfy my vanity. You're just a little hyper, baby," Janet tried to temper her words with a loving smile. "And no wonder, you were in there four times."

Sam pulled back harshly, as though she had been slapped. "Oh my God," she whispered. "I'm stoned. Aren't I Janet?" tears formed in her eyes. "I'm high."

"Maybe just a little, sweetie," Janet took her hand.

"Oh God," Sam started to panic. "Did I hurt you? Was I too eager? Did I frighten you?"

"Sam!" Janet was firm. "Relax. Truly. We're both fine. Of course you didn't hurt me baby," her voice softened. "You have never hurt me. You never will. Not ever. And I will never, ever, ever be scared of you. Not for one moment. You aren't capable of hurting me. I love you honey. You just got a little bit carried away, that's all. You didn't do anything bad."

Sam nodded, miserably. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"For what?" Janet demanded. "For loving me? You don't have anything to be sorry for, Sam. Nothing. Now," she smiled. "Where were we?" she grinned.

"You're kidding?" Sam's voice was scared. "You still want to make love?"

"More than anything," Janet said with feeling. "Please?"

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

They made love for hours; it was well after 2am when Janet snuggled into Sam's arms and closed her eyes. "Sleep, now, honey," she said sleepily.

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

Three hours later, Janet turned over in the bed, surprised to feel it empty. She looked round the room and saw no sign of Sam. "Sam?" she called. "Sam?" quickly she got out of bed, panic starting to rise in her. She then spotted the light under the door of the bathroom. She tapped quietly on the door and opened it, to the sight of Sam in the middle of the floor, frantically doing sit-ups. "Sam?" she asked. "What are you doing honey?"

Sam finally noticed her, and looked over and smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Jan, did I wake you?" she asked, sweat pouring down her face and chest. "I just couldn't sleep. I feel like I need to go for a run, I've got all this energy I can't get rid of. I thought if I came in here, it wouldn't disturb you."

"You didn't disturb me," Janet knelt at her level, and tucked a damp strand of hair behind Sam's ear. "I just wanted to check you were okay. Are you okay?" she peered at her anxiously.

"Yeah," Sam replied. "I feel a little jumpy, but I'm fine. Better now I've had some exercise." She ran her finger down Janet's cheek, and kissed her softly. She laughed. "I should shower," she grinned. "I'm all sweaty."

"Want some company?" Janet asked seductively.

"Oh God, more than anything," Sam replied.

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

Sam's appetite for Janet remained insatiable for the next three days. "Are you sure this is okay?" Sam asked Janet, over and over. "I know I'm not leaving you alone."

"This is great," Janet reassured her constantly. "When have we had the chance to spend this much time together? Really together? We should do this more often."

Janet slept more than Sam, who remained almost manically full of energy.

On the morning of the fourth day, though, Janet was surprised to wake up next to a sleeping Sam. She made sure not to move, not wanting to wake her lover. After a few minutes, though, Sam stirred.

"Hey," Janet said softly. "Good morning."

Sam blinked. "Jan?" her voice was hoarse.

"It's me," Janet replied, concerned by Sam's groggy demeanor. "How are you feeling sweetie?"

"Tired," Sam replied. "I feel kinda sick," she shut her eyes and burrowed back into the pillow.

Janet sat up, and pressed her fingers to Sam's pulse point. She could feel Sam's heart racing under her fingers. "I just want to check a few things with you, Sam. Is that okay?" she kept her voice soft and unthreatening.

"Okay," Sam muttered into the pillow.

Janet got out of bed and collected her bag from the other side of the room. "Okay, then, honey," she stroked Sam's head lovingly. "Think you can roll on to your back for me?"

Grumpily Sam rolled over, keeping one hand on her face, shielding her eyes. "Too bright for you?" Janet asked. "You got a headache?"

Sam nodded.

"That's okay, honey, I'll give you something for that once I've checked everything else." Efficiently, she took Sam's blood pressure and her temperature. She then took a blood sample and went to the door. "It's me, Fraiser," she called, knocking on the door. The door opened. Janet handed the sample to the airman standing there. "See that this gets to the infirmary, would you?" she asked. "Give it to Dr Michaels."

"Yes, ma'am," the airman replied.

"Well, honey, you're doin' okay," Janet said gently to her lover, taking a damp washcloth and laying it across Sam's eyes. "Your blood pressure and heart rate are up a bit, but this is no more than we expected. I'm just going to give you an injection, it should help ease your headache and help you to sleep, okay Sam?"

Sam nodded again. "'kay," she said.

Janet gave her a hefty dose of sedative and painkiller, and lay down next to her, taking her in her arms as she fell back to sleep.

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

Sam slept fitfully for the next 18 hours, sometimes whimpering in her sleep. Janet was able to soothe her back to sleep when she cried out.

"Her systems are all out of whack," Frankie Michaels told Janet on the phone as Sam slept. "Her serotonin levels are especially low. Nothing dangerous. I want to see a sample every six hours from now on Janet, okay?"

"I'll do what I can," Janet said. "I don't want to wake her, I'll take a sample next time she wakes, okay?"

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

Sam sat up with a start, a look of blind panic on her face, her hands clutching desperately at the blankets.

"Sam," Janet cupped her face as her lover tried to get her breathing under control. "It's okay, honey."

"Where am I?" Sam looked so frightened that it broke Janet's heart.

"You're with me, Sam. In our quarters. You've been in the sarcophagus, remember?" Janet's voice was soft and loving. "I think you're starting to feel the effects of the withdrawal now. We were expecting this. It won't last long, honey."

"'kay," Sam whispered. "Stay with me?" she looked pleadingly up at Janet.

"Okay," Janet kicked off her shoes and climbed onto the bed, taking Sam in her arms and holding her tight. "You're shaking, baby," she said to her.

"Cold," Sam's voice was almost inaudible. "Real cold."

Janet tucked the blankets round Sam, and tightened her hold on her. "It won't last long," she reiterated. "I'll take care of you baby."

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

When Janet next woke, Sam was again missing from the bed. She heard the sound of the shower running in the bathroom.

"Sam?" Janet went into the bathroom. Her lover was in the shower stall, the water pounding over her. Getting no answer, Janet opened the door to the stall, and gingerly laid a hand on Sam's arm. She realized that the water was freezing cold.

Sam turned to face Janet, her face as white as a sheet.

Janet reached over and turned off the water. She took a towel and went into the stall, wrapping it round Sam. "Sam?" she said again quietly. "What are you doing baby? You're freezing."

"Need to cool down," Sam's words sounded desperate. "I'm so hot Jan," she tried to shrug off the towel and reached for the faucet.

Gently Janet put her hand over Sam's. "No, honey," she said lovingly. "That won't help. Come with me, baby. We'll get you back into bed. I'll keep you cool there, I swear. Maybe give you something to help you sleep?"

Sam stumbled and put her hand out to steady herself. She found herself supported by Janet. "Come on Sam," Janet said quietly. "You just come with me, huh?"

Janet led her back to the bed, pulling a nightshirt over her head as she lay her down on the mattress. She took a damp washcloth and ran it over Sam's face. Swiftly she took another blood test, and then gave Sam another sedative. "It's all perfectly normal, Sam," she whispered reassuringly. "It'll be over soon. Then I can take you home with me."

Sam slept for 24 hours straight, barely moving. When she finally awoke, Janet was at her side. Sam pulled away from her, flinching as Janet reached out to touch her. "What's happening?" she demanded harshly.

"It's okay, Sam," Janet was gentle. "You've been asleep for a whole day. You're likely a bit disoriented. And hungry, I'll bet," she tried to smile.

Sam paled. "Not hungry. Feel sick," she said. A look of panic flitted across her face. "My God!" she realized. "That's why I feel sick. They're poisoning me. You. You're all in this together. Are you a Goa'uld? You look like her, but you're not. Leave me alone. Get away from me," her voice rose. "I won't tell you anything," she was shouting now. "Nothing. You won't get anything from me." She backed up into the far corner of the bed.

There was a knock on the door. "Are you okay, ma'am?" an airman's voice called.

Janet went to the door and knocked, "it's me, Fraiser," she said quietly. The door opened. "We're fine," she told the airman. "I'll call you if we need you."

She picked up Sam's laptop from the table, and took it over to the bed, leaving it on the edge, far from Sam. She stepped back, and moved to the small table at the other side of the room.

"It's your laptop, Sam," she kept her voice measured and calm. "You put a file on there, remember? To remind you what's happening here. You passworded it too. None of us know what the password is. You might want to look at it. It could help you."

Sam's face remained stony. "Leave the room," she demanded.

"Okay, Sam," Janet said quietly. "I'll give you ten minutes. And then I'm coming back. And I'll be unarmed. So I'm asking you, baby, not to hurt me when I come back in. I'm really me, Sam. Janet. I love you. Always remember."

Sam gave her a quizzical look. "Remember?" she murmured. "Always remember." She nodded.

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

Ten minutes later, Janet nodded to the airman. "Are you sure about this?" Michaels asked Janet. She had come down from the infirmary, and was standing outside the door with Janet.

"Totally," Janet said firmly. "You can listen from outside. She won't hurt me. Even if she has the slightest inkling that I could really be me, she won't take the risk of hurting me. I know her, Frankie. Better than I know myself."

She stepped through the door, and saw Sam, still sitting on the bed. Sam looked up, tears coursing down her face. She ran to Janet, and flung her arms round her. "I'm sorry," she said. "I love you Janet."

"And I love you too, Sam," Janet kissed her lovingly on the forehead. "Always. Will you let me take care of you? Jus' for a few more days?"

Sam nodded. Janet took her hand, and led her back to the bed. "Okay if I move this?" Janet gestured to the laptop. Sam nodded again. "Lie down, honey," Janet told her. "Let's do this together, huh?"

"'kay," Sam whispered.

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

"Carter!" O'Neill boomed a week later, as Janet showed him into the living room at their house. "You look great."

"I feel great, Sir," Sam smiled. "And it's wonderful to be home at last," she said. "I can't wait for Cassie to come home from school."

"She stayed with her grandmother, right?" O'Neill asked.

"Yeah," Janet agreed. "Cassie loves Ella. Ella's just left in fact, brought us this," she pointed to a large basket of fruit on the table. "Can I get you a coffee Sir?" she asked. "We're just about to have one."

"That'd be great," O'Neill replied.

"What can we do for you Sir?" Sam asked, gesturing from him to sit down.

O'Neill eased himself into the overstuffed armchair. "Nothin' really, just wanted to see how you are Carter. And also to let you know that SG-1's shipping out to P3R-921 next Wednesday. Makin' sure you're ready for that."

Sam beamed. "Oh yes, Sir," she said. "Ready, willing and able."

O'Neill grinned in return. "The team's back together," he said.


	22. Chapter 22 FINAL CHAPTER

"That insurance money's been in the bank over six months, Sam," Janet said mildly. "And much as I love having you in the car with me more often, don't you think it's time you replaced your truck? Before the winter, hon? You know I trust you on your bikes, but the winter's nearly here. When the snow and ice come, you just won't be safe. And our shifts don't always coincide."

Sam stiffened at Janet's words, tension emanating from every pore. "Yeah," she said absent-mindedly. "About that, Jan."

Janet peered at her anxiously. "What is it Sam?" she asked gently. "Every time I mention a new truck, you change the subject. Does the idea bring back bad memories?" Janet knew that Sam still suffered the occasional nightmare related to her near-death experience underwater in her old truck.

Sam looked almost guilty.

"Oh sweetie, why didn't you say?" Janet asked. "It's totally natural that you feel that way."

"It's not just that, Jan," Sam said. "I mean... you're right. It's true. I don't much like the idea of driving a truck right now. Or at least not the exact same model. But I've been thinking, honey. I only really had the truck for one reason; to transport my racing bike to the race track. So I'm thinking, if I sell my bike, I won't need a truck."

"Sell your bikes?" Janet sounded aghast. "But you love those bikes!"

"Not _bikes_, honey," Sam explained. "_Bike_. Just my racing bike. I'll keep the Harley and the Indian. No," she held a hand up, seeing Janet was about to protest. "Let's face it Jan, how often do I use that bike? When did I last take part in a race?"

Janet thought back. "I don't remember," she said. "The last time I remember you racing is before we got together. When I had to stitch your elbow after that fall you had at the track."

"That's the last time I raced, Janet," Sam told her. She smiled, and reached out, running her hand down Janet's soft cheek. "I thought I hadn't been to the track for so long because I've been real busy. But when I thought about it, I realized."

"Realized what, baby?" Janet asked.

"Realized that I used to race all the time, because I needed the adrenalin. The excitement," she kissed Janet softly. "And now I get all the excitement I need. Just from being with you. I get excited just looking at you Jan," she took Janet in her arms and kissed her more passionately this time.

Janet started to respond, but then reluctantly pushed Sam away. "No," she said, a little breathlessly. "Not now Sam. Cassie and Gus will be back any moment," she laughed as, just as she spoke, she heard the door open. "See?" she laughed, as Cassie and Angus came into the room.

"What are you laughing at?" Cassie demanded. She saw how close they stood. "Have you two been kissing again?" she asked.

"Of course we have, Cass," Sam told her. "You know what your Mom's like. She can't keep her hands off me!" she laughed as Janet started to protest.

****

"I've been thinking," Sam told Janet later that day, as they lay together on the couch after Cassie had gone to bed.

"You're always thinking, flygirl," Janet said sleepily. "It's that giant brain of yours."

Sam chuckled. "About the insurance check. For the truck," she said.

"Oh yeah?" Janet turned slightly in her arms so she could see her face.

"I'm gonna get me a small car, just something to get me to the base and back when I need it. Something a few years old, nothin' fancy. That'll cost a few grand, maximum," she said. "And then," she smiled, "I want you to take the rest of the money. For a new kitchen," she explained. "I know that old kitchen is driving you crazy, with the cupboard doors not closing properly, all that."

"Nuh uh," Janet said. "That's your money. You should spend it as you want. Even if you don't spend it on a car."

"It's our money, baby," Sam's voice was loving. "Anyway, this is how I want to spend it. On our house. Our kitchen."

"_My_ kitchen," Janet grinned. "We've talked about that. That kitchen is my domain."

Sam laughed, and held up her hands in surrender. "I'm not gonna argue with you there, baby," she said. "But that's what we're spending the money on," she said firmly.

"I love you so much," Janet kissed her softly.

"Wanna show me just how much?" Sam's eyes twinkled.

"More than anything," Janet stood up and put her hand out to Sam, leading her toward the stairs. "You see?" she grinned. "You just need to promise me a new kitchen and I'm like putty in your hands."

Sam smiled back. "You always were," she said in a sultry tone.

****

"Cora's looking amazing," Sam told Sharon, as she sat in the infirmary, awaiting her pre-mission medical. "She's keeping well, right?"

Sharon beamed with pleasure. "She's great," she said, her eyes misting over. Ever since Cora's pregnancy had been confirmed, she had become even more protective of, and sentimental about, her lover.

"How long to go?" Sam asked.

"Just over five months," Sharon told her. "I'm so excited Sam. So's Cora. And Mikey's excited too, can't wait for another sister. Or brother."

"You don't want to know the sex then?" Sam asked her.

"No, we decided to let it be a surprise," Sharon said.

"Any preference?" Sam asked.

"Nope," Sharon told her. "None at all. Mikey and Eliza are both so amazing. And so different. So we don't care what we have. Sam, I've been meaning to ask you. Janet's okay about it all, huh? I mean, Cora having her baby here."

"She's thrilled, Sharon," Sam told her. "And Frankie Michaels was an ObGyn for four years before she came here for a change of direction."

"I know that," Sharon said. "But with Janet... I mean, I know she loves kids. And it's so sad what that bastard did to her."

Sam put a reassuring hand on her arm. "I did ask her that," she said gently. "And truly, she's genuinely very happy for you. And at least she's a mom already. A wonderful mom."

"Cassie's very lucky to have her," Sharon told her. "And you. She's such a happy kid," she said.

"And she's brought us both so much joy," Sam said.

****

"Again?" Janet said. "But that's the fourth time, Sam."

"I know," Sam said. "It's only for a few days. They need more help with their enrichment program. I'm the only one at the SGC who really knows enough about it. I owe them, Jan. The sarcophagus, remember?"

"Yeah," Janet replied glumly. "I know you owe them. We both do. I just miss you when you aren't here. You will be back in time for your birthday, though, huh? I have a surprise planned for you."

Sam's face lit up. "Does it involve candles and warm oil?" she asked.

"No," Janet grinned, "but we can do that after. I swear."

"Then I'll just have to make damned sure I'm back on time," Sam kissed her tenderly. "The colonel says we'll be back late Friday. My birthday's Saturday. Maybe we can celebrate at midnight?"

"I'll hold you to that, sweetie," Janet told her.

****

"Great job, Carter," O'Neill told his 2IC. "The Ranconans are real impressed with you. Djarnid said he had never met anybody as smart as you are. Told him I hadn't either, that I don't understand even a quarter of what you say."

Sam grinned. "Thank you Sir. I'm just pleased it's all up and running smoothly."

"The doc'll be pleased to have you back," O'Neill added. "It's your birthday tomorrow, right?"

Sam looked startled. "Yes, it is. How did you know that?"

O'Neill grinned. "Oh I'm not as dumb as I look," he said.

"I know _that_ Sir," Sam smiled.

"As it happens, I just happened to mention your birthday to Djarnid," O'Neill was still smiling. "And he told me that he wanted to get you a token of his appreciation. Anything at all you'd like. Anything," his smile was wide. "So I had an idea. I think maybe you should sit down, Carter."

****

"Thirty-one," Janet nudged Sam as the clock ticked over to 12.01am. "How does it feel to be an old lady?" she giggled.

Sam rolled over and pinned Janet to the mattress. "Why d'you ask?" she said with a glint. "Can't you remember back that far?" she leaned down and kissed Janet thoroughly, preventing her from protesting too loudly.

"Hey," Janet said breathlessly. "You should be careful with me. I'm an old lady of 33, you know. Okay," she threw Sam's shorts and t-shirt at her. "Put these on," and she started to climb into her own pajamas.

"Huh?" Sam was confused. "It's officially my birthday, and you want me to put clothes _on_? That doesn't seem fair. I thought we were going to celebrate."

"You've got a very short memory," Janet grinned. "I thought we'd spent the last two hours ... celebrating."

Sam grinned back at her. "Oh yeah," she said. "That was one hell of a celebration. Seriously, Jan, why are we getting dressed?" even as she argued, she was donning her clothes.

"I have your surprise all ready," Janet said. "And I promised Cass I'd wake her up, so's she can be part of it too. We need to go downstairs for it."

Sam grabbed her robe and pulled it on over her shorts and t-shirt, passing Janet's robe to her. "Are you gonna give me a clue?"

Janet shook her head firmly. They both went into Cassie's room, where Janet woke her gently. "Hey, honey," she smiled as Cassie slowly came too. "Are you ready for this?"

Cassie smiled widely and nodded. "I can't wait to see your face, Sam," she said. Sam helped her into her robe. "C'mon Cass," she wheedled. "You've gotta give me a hint."

Cassie shook her head firmly. "Mom made me swear I wouldn't tell."

"Then you mustn't," Sam agreed with a smile. "I'm just so excited."

As the family arrived in the kitchen, Cassie bent down and picked Angus up from his basket. "Come on Angus," she said, "you have to come too."

Janet led the way out the back door of the kitchen into the garage. "You have to shut your eyes, Sam," she instructed. "Take my hand."

With a minute, Sam was standing in the appointed place, her eyes still shut. "Can I open them now?" she asked.

"Yeah," Janet's voice was small. "You can look now."

Sam opened her eyes, and in front of her, she saw a 1960s white Volvo, with the biggest pink ribbon she had ever seen wrapped round it. She turned and looked at Janet, who just stood there looking anxious. She turned to Cassandra, who wore the biggest smile she had ever seen. Even Angus seemed to be grinning. She turned again to Janet, who still stood in silence, looking ever more worried.

"Say something," Cassie urged.

Sam took the two steps she needed to reach Janet. She took her in her arms, and kissed her tenderly. "My God," she said, not even noticing the tears falling down her own cheeks. "Janet. I've never. This is. This is just. I mean. How? It's so beautiful. I never dreamed..." her voice tailed off, as she turned again to look at the car.

"You like it?" Janet asked.

"Do I like it?" Sam asked. "Do I _like_ it? It's the most beautiful car I've ever seen. I've always wanted one of these," she took Janet by the hand and went over to the car, running her hand lovingly down the hood. "How did you know?"

"That picture," Janet said. "You showed me that picture of your Mom, standing by her car. Just after we got together. You told me then that you had always wanted a car like that, and that one day you would get one. I asked Siler where I could find one like this. And he told me of this dealership. And here it is. Did I do the right thing, Sam?" she looked up at her worriedly, concerned that she had brought back sad memories for her lover.

"It's the most precious thing anybody has ever done for me. Ever," Sam kissed her deeply. "It's incredible Janet. You. You're incredible. Your Mom is amazing, Cass," she turned to face their daughter, who was wreathed in smiles. "Come here, honey," she instructed her, and they all met in a warm, loving embrace. "I'm the luckiest woman in the world. I love you both, so much." Tears ran unchecked down her face. Cassie grinned and passed her a handkerchief from the pocket of her robe.

"Hot chocolate," Janet declared, and with a last look at her car, Sam followed her lover and her daughter back into the kitchen.

Cassie climbed into Sam's lap once they were all settled in the living room. She pulled a package out of her robe pocket. "I got you this, Sam," she said, shyly.

Sam opened the package, which contained a pair of leather driving gloves. "Oh Cass," she said, "these are just perfect. Thank you sweetie."

Cassie snuggled into her arms, and within fifteen minutes she was asleep.

"You take her to bed," Janet whispered, taking out the bottle of whisky that they kept for special occasions. "Then we'll have a nightcap before bed, huh?"

"Great," Sam smiled.

Within a few minutes, Sam returned, and Janet passed her a glass. "How did you afford it, Jan?" she asked. "Cars like that are real expensive."

"Please don't be mad," Janet looked worried. "I decided I didn't want a new kitchen. I like the old kitchen."

"But you wanted new units, new appliances, everything," Sam said.

"Not as much as I wanted to see your face when you saw the car," Janet said. She took Sam's face between both hands and kissed her tenderly. "Are you mad with me, Sam?"

Sam shook her head, overcome once more with emotion at the selflessness of her lover. "I don't think I've ever loved anybody as much as I love you right at this moment," her voice cracked.

"Right back at ya, baby," Janet told her.

Sam took her hand, and led her to the big, overstuffed armchair that they sometimes liked to share. She sat down and pulled Janet into her lap, so that the small medic was curled into Sam. "I've got something to tell you too, Jan," Sam said. "I don't know if it's what you want. And if it isn't, that's fine. But it just means we have more options now."

Janet looked quizzically at Sam. "What is it, honey?" she asked, running her hand lovingly through her hair.

"You know I've just gotten back from PR4-176? Rancona?" Sam said.

Janet nodded.

"Well, it all went well there. Real well. Their leader Djarnid told the colonel that I was the smartest person he'd ever met. And that he wanted to do something to thank me," Sam explained.

"But he already did," Janet said. "They let you use the sarcophagus."

"That's just it, Jan. They've offered it again. To restore your womb. Only if that's what you want," she looked worried.

All the color ran from Janet's face. "What?" she whispered.

"It can restore your womb. If you want that, Jan. But only if you do. I saw your face, baby. Last time we saw Sharon and Cora. I know you're pleased for them. Oh God," she started to panic. "Did I misread it? I'm sorry, Jan. I'm not trying to put pressure on you. The offer is there if you want it. But you don't have to do it. Certainly not to please me. You can..." her words were stopped with a passionate kiss from Janet.

"You're amazing," Janet said when they finally broke apart, trying not to cry.

"You're the one that's amazing," Sam brushed her tears from her face lovingly.

"Can we really do this?" Janet asked.

"If you want to Jan," Sam said.

"I want to," Janet whispered. "More than anything. Well, almost more than anything. Above all, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and with our precious daughter. But after that, I can't think of anything better than having a baby with you. Do you really think it will work?"

"I think so," Sam told her. "I had a long talk with Teal'c. He knows of several occasions when damaged body parts have regrown in the sarcophagus. Including one case of a woman who had lost her womb. She has three kids now, he tells me. It'll be hard though, baby. You'll have to go through withdrawal too, just like I did. You'll hate it. But I'll be with you, Jan. Every second. If that's what you want."

"I do," Janet said quietly. "I do want it."

****

"How long has she been in?" Sam was out of breath as she skidded to a halt outside the private room in the infirmary, having just returned from a four-day mission.

"Eleven hours," Janet took her hand. "Frankie says she's doing real well, the baby will be here any moment. God it's good to see you Sam. I missed you."

"I missed you too, honey. How's Sharon doing?" Sam asked.

"She's a mess," Janet grinned. "She was last time, too. But she'll be fine. She just wants Cora to be okay."

"I'll be a mess too, I bet," Sam took her lover in her arms and ran her hand over her belly that had just started to soften. "Nearly four months, Jan," she whispered. "And you've never looked hotter," she eyed Janet's breasts, which were already considerably larger than usual.

"I don't care if you're a mess," Janet said. "As long as you are with me. You will be there, won't you honey?"

"Every second," Sam promised. "I want to be the first person to hold our baby. To hand him to you."

"Or her," Janet grinned.

"Or her," Sam agreed happily, and kissed her. In the silence, the clear sound of a baby crying could be heard.

Sam looked at Janet, and they both laughed happily. "Sounds like the new arrival," Janet said.

A few minutes later, Dr Frankie Michaels exited the room. "They wanna see you," she said with a wide smile. "I'm just going to call Sharon's mom. Get her to bring Mikey and Eliza to meet their baby brother."

Sam and Janet let themselves into the room, hand in hand. They saw a beaming Sharon sitting by her wife's bed, gently caressing the downy head of their newborn son, who was suckling contentedly at Cora's breast.

Cora looked up. "Hey," she said quietly. "We want you to meet our newest family member. This is our son, Elliott. Elliott Sam. We named him Elliott after my Dad. And we asked Mikey if he could think of a middle name if we had a boy. He said if we had a boy he had to grow up to be strong and brave. So he told us we had to choose Sam."

"That's a real good choice," Janet said in a quiet voice. Sam squeezed her hand.

"It'll be you in this bed in five months, Janet," Cora smiled.

"Yeah," Sam answered for her, smiling. "And I'm gonna be a mess," she winked conspiratorially at Sharon.

"True," Janet smiled. "But you'll be a beautiful mess."

THE END

_Thank you for reading!_


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